My partner is invited to a wedding, I'm not

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My German boyfriend is invited for a wedding BUT ALONE. Is it quite usual in Germany to do that? I asked him to ask again to the hosts but he told me that's impolite! What do you think about that?

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I'm really sad 'cause i can't force him to say 'no' but for me it's also really impolite to invite only one person for a wedding, symbol of love. I can understand a lot: money, capacity of the place, fact that everybody knows good everybody, ... That stays unbelievable for me! If the couple wants to do a special thing for their swimming team, they can do that in an other time but not like that. So my boyfriend will spend an all day and party evening with a friend of his swimming team who likes him a little too much. SUPER. and 10 days later he will go to Afghanistan SUPER. I'll stop to be nice

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i'm quite satisfied that all Germans don't think it's normal... Hopefully! How can i concentrate on my German examination when i'm so angry :angry:

One thing is sure this couple can dream to be invited by my house!

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Weddings are a mineful of ettiquette even within one society.

Don#t get upset over it or annoyed at your boyf. :)

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do you know the married couple at all, have you ever met them?

and how long have you been with your boyfriend?

 

perhaps they are trying to save a bit of money, weddings are expensive affairs.

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I don't think it is that abnormal. If you have not known your boyfriend for that long (you don't say how long) and/or if the hosts do not know you at all I do not think it is wrong for them not to invite you.

 

However if I were your boyfriend I would probably not go unless it was a really good friend. But then again if it was a really good friend he should be able to ask if you can at least go to the evening reception party...

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It normally depends on how long you've been together. If you're living together or engaged, and definitely if you're married, the invitation should be +1. If not then it can just come down to numbers.

 

Are all his friends invited solo too?

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If the bride and groom are having a small wedding, it's understandable. Why pay for strangers to attend their wedding if they've had to trim out some of their own acquaintances to keep the list small? If you know the bride & groom well, or if everyone else is allowed to bring guests except your bf, then your anger is understandable. Otherwise, forget it. You're out of line.

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When I get married I wont invite everybodies partners that I don't know. At some point you have to draw the line, maybe the venue has a small capacity, by inviting you maybe that would mean they couldn't invite someone they knew very well.

 

I think it's normal. My boyfriend wasn't always invited to all my friends weddings. He didn't take the huff.

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I think maybe BF needs to be probed a bit more. Maybe he "uninvited" you? :unsure:

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If the bride and groom are having a small wedding, it's understandable. Why pay for strangers to attend their wedding if they've had to trim out some of their own acquaintances to keep the list small? If you know the bride & groom well, or if everyone else is allowed to bring guests except your bf, then your anger is understandable. Otherwise, forget it. You're out of line.

agree, I have heard of people doing this because they need to keep the numbers down because of costs and so only invite the people they are close with.

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I agree with gills and Wizadora. When we got married, we only invited friends, not partners. One of my husband's best mates was invited to the meal, but I didn't invite his girlfriend for a number of reasons. First off, it was a really small wedding, for close friends and family. I didn't count her as close friend. I'd only met her once or twice. Plus, some of my best friends weren't invited and it didn't seem fair that she would be sat there all sour and moody and shit, while mates I've known since uni weren't invited. Also, we were having an evening meal in a small restaurant afterwards. Her boyfriend would be the only person she knew. We only invited one friend each (my husband and I). It also seemed even more unfair, considering my friend didn't bring her boyfriend, who I know quite well. I felt bad about that, especially as we're invited to their wedding later on this month. But that's a massive thing with over 200 guests. My wedding was ten people, including the two of us and the priest!

 

So don't feel too put out. There could be any number of reasons why you aren't invited. At least you don't have to find something nice to wear and contribute to a present...

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If the couple wants to do a special thing for their swimming team, they can do that in an other time but not like that.

 

So my boyfriend will spend an all day and party evening with a friend of his swimming team who likes him a little too much.

You do seem to be a little hung up on the whole swimming team issue here.

 

You may also get merged with this thread.

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I had the exact opposite problem - was invited to a British wedding. It was addressed to me - without "plus guest". I replied to say yes I would love to come, then the bride asked me "are you bringing someone" - errrr Bahnhof!?!!!

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My wedding was ten people, including the two of us and the priest!

Was the priest allowed to bring a friend?

 

Anyhoo I agree with many of the above posters , weddings are expensive things - and you'll just have to get over your pettiness here and accept that it's about the wishes of the couple before yours or those of your partner.

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So my boyfriend will spend an all day and party evening with a friend of his swimming team who likes him a little too much. SUPER. and 10 days later he will go to Afghanistan SUPER. I'll stop to be nice

How DARE your boyfriend have his own friends!

 

Sounds like you're the jealous type.

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