Anyone else here just homesick?

[marshallmaniac 0]

I moved here by myself from the states at the end of July 07. I work in the NLs and live in D'dorf and find it really hard to make friends here in the city. Well, to be honest, I'm not out much "looking" for friends as it's a bit awkward to do at 27 yrs old. Much easier when you're 5 and can ask, "wanna be my friend?" Regardless, while there are times I miss damn near everything about the states, for the most part, I really like Germany and could easily stay here IF I manage to get over this loneliness hurdle. Not really sure how I should go about it though. While I'm pretty independent, I don't like doing EVERYTHING on my own and I'm a bit too shy to approach folks I don't know. Suggestions??? ;0)

[IrishChris 0]

Yes I am...very much so.

 

I havent been here long but am missing home desperately. I moved here to be with my girlfriend (we had a long distance relationship goin for a while after she moved here) but now I'm missing my home, my friends, my old job and even my old car.

 

I left a decent job with the intent to get bar work over here...long story about that but lets just say the place I got the work with and me didnt get along too well...Though I got the knack for bar work very quickly and quite enjoy it.

Im looking for something similar to what I was doing at home here as I enjoyed the work but the market just doesnt seem to be here for it...or else I dont know what it's called over here...lol

 

Im starting a German course in a week so hopefully that will help a little and I've got friends coming over in June...Don't know if thats a good or bad idea though...could make me wanna go home a lot more.

 

If I could only bring the parts of here I like back to Ireland, I'd be living in a perfect world...some chance huh?

[HEM 11,160]

 

Suggestions??? ;0)

The usual one - get out and join some activity. Into sports or some type? I used to be an aeromodeller when in the UK; out here I got drawn into a German gliding club, learnt the language & how to fly & am still doing both 27 years on... I spoke next-to-no German when I started!

[mad4ei 1]

I moved to Düsseldorf about 7 weeks ago, I wouldnt say I'm homesick.. I like Germany and the way of life here, I just miss my friends and family heaps!!!

[PE464 0]

Life here is just work and more work, as I work in a company that speaks English I dont have time to learn German so it is very difficult to get out and do normal things just because you cant comunincate.. So yes in this respect home sick..! why should things be so hard just because you live in Germany..! thats the question I have..

[PrinceOfDenmark 16]

 

why should things be so hard just because you live in Germany..! thats the question I have..

..don't think of things as being hard, think of it as a Mini-adventure...the thought of slapping a couple of naked hiking Germans with a wet kipper always makes me smile.

[spaceflotsam 1]

Hi all! Living in Germany just over 8 years, and only recently discovered this joint. I guess homesickness depends on your personality and what sort of culture and activities you enjoy. I miss the open friendliness of people back home, not to mention the weather, slang, easy-going diversity, convenience, and lebensraum. As an Ami, I've been on the defensive more times than I can count, and have in return been more judgmental of the German culture than is always necessary (also a fine line to walk being married to a German ). I have ended up in blue collar work in the Dortmund area, limiting my social contact greatly, and I'm having a helluva time assimilating, even after all these years (OK, I ain't tryin' ALL that hard!). Doesn't help that I'm a strange fella, find soccer stink langweilig, and am a vegetarian and vocal believer in the protection of animals. Anyhoo, last fall I flew over to New York, and drove all the way down to New Orleans and back. I soaked my long missed culture, the good and the bad, up like a sponge. My family and friends grow more distant with each year, and shared cultural reference points diminish in turn. So, a damn long-winded "Hell yeah, I'm homesick! ".

[New_Kid 0]

I'm going back to America at the next good career opportunity.

I've had enough of German culture. And I say that as someone

who used to have the utmost respect for this place. Its great here,

but I wish to live amongst my own people and speak my own language, English.

 

-New Kid

[Nemmy 12]

They speak English in America?

 

Personally, not really missing England. I moved here for work initially for a year, as I wanted to try working abroad and was/am getting fed up with what England is turning into. I only miss some foodstuffs but can get them when I occasionally go back for visits (once every 2 months usually). I haven't encountered anything here that really makes me want to go back...yet!

I don't speak that much German, I can understand more but I'm not finding that enough of a stumbling block to move back either. I do think one of the keys is to make a network of friends (no matter how small) so that you can get out and about.

 

Hey, we're all different. Some people struggle more when confronted with something that is too different from their comfort zone.

[nowandlainers 154]

 

They speak English in America?

Yes Nemmy Sometimes we actually do...

 

I think it gets easier to stay, the longer you actually stay and tough it out. I went to the USA a few weeks ago and instantly realized, it is all just is not the same.. I saw friends and family and dont get me wrong it was awesome to see them.. But it reminded me just why I had packed it all in and came to germany in the first place..

I know... I miss simple things like my Grandmothers tamales, enchiladas.. I miss having my sister do my hair when I have a OMG can we just dyed it all blond today day.. I owuld do anything to have my mother right here to give me a MOM hug, but all in all I love where I live, even when I hate the people around me.

 

Dont get me wrong there are days I cry and want to go home.. but in all reality.. I love Cologne!!

[Mishell 0]

OMG, Mexican food. REAL Mexican food. And I'm not talking about the BBQ chicken wings that they call Mexican food here. I miss it sooooo much. Especially since I got pregnant. When I was in the food craving months the only things I had a appitite for was Mex food and salt water taffy. Needless to say I lost a lot of weight those first 4 months.

 

I miss frienldy people. I'm from the Northwest US. Very friendly part of an already friendly culture. I cried for months from the shock of it when I got here.

 

I knew it would be different here than it was at home and I was prepared for it to some degree. But there are some things that I was not prepared for. When I smile at someone, I would expect to get a smile back, not get shoved off the sidewwalk. (Happened more than once.)

 

The other thing I wasn't prepaired for was the food. I hate German food, but before I got here I thought I'd still be able to buy ingredients to make the food I like. Not true. I've gone without homemade salsa since I've been here and when I was home it was always in my fridge.

[Carm 74]

always amazes me how judgemental people come across when they love it here, and someone is struggling or hating it.

I find it really evident on this thread.

 

I have been here almost 7 years, speak the language, work in the german culture, and if I got the job offer of my life back home, I would be gone in a flash. My homesickness comes in waves, I do deal with it, has nothing to do with leaving ones comfort zone! I have no family here, alot of wonderful friends, have a very active social life, but its not the same as home... nothing against my wonderful friends, but, they have known you less than 7 years, my friends and family back home have known me almost my whole life, makes a big difference.

Some of us don't make it back home to visit as often as alot of other people, and that could also make a difference in ones wave of homesickness. I have not seen my family for 18months now, and will not see them til christmas. That is a long time.

I scan the ads for jobs and appartments back home and in other Canadian cities regularily. For me, I have just had enough of the 'german culture' and lack of politeness that I am used to back home.

 

Everyone is different, everyone deals with things differently, everyone had different expectations and everyone has different reasons for being here, who are we to judge when someone is missing home or has attempted to assimilate and its not working. We are not walking in their shoes.

[Nemmy 12]

*sigh*

 

Dear Carm, I humbly apologise for any perceived judgmentalism posted by myself.

It was not intended as such, indeed to me you are being judgmental about my post.

 

However, please do accept my deepest apologies for any offence caused.

 

Yours sincerely,

Nemmy.

[Carm 74]

my post was not directed at you alone, its an ongoing occurance here on TT, that people that vent or struggle about hating it here, get regularily told to leave if they don't like it.

So, please no need to apologize.

[Nemmy 12]

Hmm well I didn't feel my post was in any way telling people to go back if they don't like it.

I was merely saying that personally I haven't found any major problems (so far!), and that SOME people do find it initially difficult when leaving what they know and love.

Obviously it has nothing to do with your comfort zone as you have said but maybe that *is* the reason for some other people. Not everyone is the same as you or has the same reasons for wanting to leave as you, as you succinctly pointed out.

 

Anyway, sorry I'll let you all get back to the topic proper now. Didn't mean to cause this friction :/

[nowandlainers 154]

Ur okay nemmy!!! My homesickness comes in waves... I quickly figured out where to get what I needed to make the Mexican food. If you want the mail order place I found... the things I cant find I have learned ( or knew how to make anyway).. Just give me a reason to cook and I am a cooking away!! Sometimes I miss having other Americans around... don’t get me wrong, I Love my English friends! You guys keep me from hopping off the Duetz bridge at times.. But ohhhh man the research hours: I have put in on researching the stuff that comes out of your mouths... (More so Cotas!) It’s a foreign language!!

[iain 141]

Carm, I don't think your comments were directed at me, however I know I sometimes come down on people carrying on about not being able to get their boots sandwich meal deals and stuff like that. I think I get a bit annoyed at people who sit and whine cause they miss a&w or something like that. Although I fully understand your need for twizzlers and will try and pick up some for you this summer On the other hand I've never really come out and told people to go home if you don't like it. I think for me it's just a bit frustrating to hear someone rant on about silly, perspective is everything, things like sandwiches.

 

The frustration for me is they have this excellent opportunity to go out and explore and open the mind to new things. I love going down to the markets and finding new and crazy stuff. The indian stores are box full of raw ingredients that you would be hard pressed to find in the states. When people get caught up on one little thing and let it get in their way of such an exploration of life I think I find that frustrating.

 

I miss IPA's by the way.

 

missing friends, family and your own culture is one thing, but some of the food complaints are ridiculous and get me frustrated. talking of food, would you be willing to send me a authentic Canadian perogie recipe. Part of this frustration for me stems, I think, from the fact that back in north america I have to be so careful when I go out to eat. They use so much junk in the food back home to preserve, process and cheaply enhance the food, which I don't react well too. For me Germany is a food paradise, that being said I never really eat actual German food.

[CherryCola1788 60]

I've yet to move to Germany (making my first trip in December to Dortmund) but I'm intending to marry the man I'm with and for a while will be living in NRW, likely Bochum, D-Dorf or Dortmund. I will ask this: for the first time in my life I've been on my own for less than a month (sad, I know, but I come from a close-knit family and have lived in the same area for 20 years) and I'm already battling that horrid loneliness of not knowing anyone and being afraid to attempt to make friends in a strange place (fear of being judged, all of it, really). What's sad is I can return at the end of the first week of August, and I likely will, but I know this feeling will be amplified in Germany. Any advice on forestalling that?

 

P.S. The worst for me so far HAS been the lack of family- all of my kinfolk live in Tennessee including parents, brothers, sister in law, nieces, nephews, extended. It's been quite an ordeal even pondering spending a few years without them...

[garibaldi 20]

UUUh Oh! I can see the outcome of that last post looming on the horizon.

I doesn't look good.

[moctoj2 542]

less than a month? Hmm, two things. Either you're severly insecure or just stupid to think you can live in a foreign country. Are you saying you're only 20 yrs old?