Darwin Awards

[leky 173]

Ok the winners have been announced for 2007:

 

 

THE DARWIN AWARDS - January 2008

 

Announcing the new, the beloved, the 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS!

 

" Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution,

the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool

by accidentally removing themselves from it. "

 

This was the year of the Squashed Darwin Award Winner. THREE

independent groups of people attempted to remove the supports

from beneath a barn, a water tower, and a heavy factory roof.

In all cases, the structures collapsed without their aptly-named

supports. Duh! This year brought us 16 jaw-droppping nominees,

not counting new nominees for previous years and Near Misses

(AKA Honorable Mentions) which I will cover in the next ish.

 

Enjoy the stories of the winners... and be glad you're not one!

 

~ Wendy

 

 

An alcoholic who died after giving himself a sherry enema has won the 2007 Darwin Award.

 

The Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve the gene pool by accidentally removing themselves from it.

 

The 58-year-old Texan couldn't ingest alcohol by mouth because of painful medical problems with his throat.

 

He took to taking alcohol by enema instead but died after taking two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry.

 

First runners-up, and Double Darwin winners, were a young South Carolina couple, both 21, found naked and dead in the road in the early hours.

 

Police were initially baffled, until they found two sets of neatly folded clothes on top of a nearby building with a pyramid-shaped roof.

 

Other runners-up included:

 

An East German man who electrocuted himself when he tried to get rid of moles by pounding metal rods into the ground and connecting them to a high-voltage power line.

 

A West Virginia man who was crushed while dismantling a rundown barn. He fired up his chainsaw and ripped through a crucial support post, bringing down the whole structure on himself.

 

An Illinois man who won a game of chicken to see who could stay on a railway line the longest in the path of an oncoming train.

 

And a 29-year-old computer tutor who was killed in California while driving and working on his laptop at the same time. He was killed by oncoming traffic.

darwinawards

[Captain Ridiculous! 18]

That Darwin guy was sick!

[ian 3,996]

Darwin didn't invent the awards, he invented evolution you dummy! And thank goodness for that! The awards were just named after him.

[Alarum 2]

invented evolution? can you actually say that a single person invented it? isnt that like saying Sir Isaac Newton invented gravity?

[Guest]

Nope. Neither did they discover evolution or gravity. Darwin described evolution.

[thefirelane 981]

Close... he described the process through which the fact of evolution is observed.

 

Evolution: fact.. seen changes in species over time

Evolution through natural selection: Scientific theory.

[Jimbo 1,269]

Sorry, but I still don't get what the people in South Carolina were doing?

[Eleanor Rigby 1,934]

Or at least why they would stop to fold their clothes.

[Jimbo 1,269]

Or what relevance a pyramid has specifically to being found dead in a road?

[HEM 10,987]

They fell off the roof whilst their attention was distracted by the pleasures of the flesh (if you like to put it that way)...

[Eleanor Rigby 1,934]

I'm guessing because pyramids are slanted and therefore easy to slide down?

[cb6dba 7,317]

It seems they were Gettin-Jiggy-With-It and fell off the roof.

[Mariposa 1,281]

I suppose you cannot fall from a flat roof as easily, and my guess is they wanted to have sex up there, but why the folded clothes???

[Alarum 2]

makes you wonder how steep the thing was, maybe there were just using it as a slide and found out you slid faster with no clothes on...

[HEM 10,987]

 

I suppose you cannot fall from a flat roof as easily, and my guess is they wanted to have sex up there, but why the folded clothes???

Presumably being orderly people they carefully took off their clothes & folded them before engaging...

I suppose most people toss their clothes in a heap...

[lazybum 64]

I don't think that people from South Carolina have ever had anything to do with evolution anyway

[Jimbo 1,269]

Hardly qualifies for a darwin - falling off a roof isn't that fucking stupid - especially at night. Just did a case for a woman who's husband killed himself on a homemade zip slide...that was pretty dumb.

[Crawlie 293]

I can remember when the Darwin awards were actually funny

[Jimbo 1,269]

Yeah - a man chainsaws a supporting beam and is crushed to death. Hilarious. Perhaps the woman who killed herself on the M5 thanks to severe post-natal depression last week will make it onto 2008's list. My sides were splitting when I read that story earlier today - especially since she left 2 week old twins behind her...

[Crawlie 293]

The rocket car story from a few years back - now that was humour.

 

Some guy dying while driving and working on his laptop? Scraping the barrel there I think