Tip of the day

[silty1 3,597]

20 hours ago, optimista said:

make sure to find her cervix and give it a damn good massage next time you are in there. 

 

(cough) do I have to ask permission first?

[hooperski 29,417]

Paging Bill Cosby ...

[hooperski 29,417]

Heat your house for the whole day, by simply buying a McDonald's Apple Pie and taking it home.

[optimista 5,840]

@silty... depends... definitely go easy.

[hooperski 29,417]

If going out Trick or Treating tonight, go out dressed as a Bailiff.  I did last year and got two TVs and a blowjob.

[hooperski 29,417]

If meeting a woman for the first time, don't assume her gender, and definitely don't ask where she is from.

Instead, break the ice with some light chit-chat by simply asking her age, and how much she weighs.

[hooperski 29,417]

Before heading out Christmas shopping, take a photograph of your £10 notes ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... as the camera always adds ten pounds.

[Widad 10]

don't stay up and you have to get up early in the morning because you have to go to your work

[yesterday 1,979]

If you are going to buy a lotto ticket, makes sure you buy the winning one, otherwise you are just wasting your money

[hooperski 29,417]

To avoid mis-gendering people and upsetting them by not using their chosen pronouns, simply say ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... "Oi, you".

[hooperski 29,417]

Fall out with your family and relatives this weekend, to avoid having to socialise with them over Christmas.

[optimista 5,840]

Before doing any seriously dickish thing, consider what the consequences could be further down the line when you get found out. Dear husband.

 

Cut and paste really not clever.

[hooperski 29,417]

Hold a Buttercup under someone's chin, to see if they like sitting next to you on the bus.

[HH_Sailor 3,533]

As a car driver - always, **always** keep you car keys on you when you get out of the car.

And if you have a car with no obvious "keyhole", get the book out and find out how to

open the car with your key if the key battery fails.

 

Learning the hard way : 

left the keys in the car while disconnecting the charger.

Disconnected - and heard the familiar clack noise as the doors, to my surprise, locked themselves.

The spare key (luckily in a handbag a couple of streets away)  wouldn't work. It had all the symptoms of a flat key battery.

 

As I knew how to get to the actual key hole on the E-Golf, I could get in and retrieve the keys after all.

 

Oh yes : once the doors had been opened, both keys went back to working remotely.

 

Note that this film shows a RHD car.

Only the driver's door has such a notch / keyhole 

 

 

 

[kiplette 8,677]

Well done you for sorting that. Not a happy moment when the keys get locked in the car.

[HH_Sailor 3,533]

What gets me, is that everything is software these days.

Why should a stationary car, with keys inside the car decide to lock itself ?

 

Surely there's an algorthym for that... 

[RedMidge 6,638]

Asimov is with us!!

 

[kathdonn 387]

5 hours ago, kiplette said:

Well done you for sorting that. Not a happy moment when the keys get locked in the car.

Especially when the motor's running and your 4-month-old baby is alone in the car!

[sluzup 249]

14 hours ago, HH_Sailor said:

As a car driver - always, **always** keep you car keys on you when you get out of the car.

And if you have a car with no obvious "keyhole", get the book out and find out how to

open the car with your key if the key battery fails.

 

Learning the hard way : 

left the keys in the car while disconnecting the charger.

Disconnected - and heard the familiar clack noise as the doors, to my surprise, locked themselves.

The spare key (luckily in a handbag a couple of streets away)  wouldn't work. It had all the symptoms of a flat key battery.

 

As I knew how to get to the actual key hole on the E-Golf, I could get in and retrieve the keys after all.

 

Oh yes : once the doors had been opened, both keys went back to working remotely.

 

Note that this film shows a RHD car.

Only the driver's door has such a notch / keyhole 

 

 

 

Thanks for this!!  Needed this a couple of weeks ago.  Luckily was able to warm the key in my hands and it then worked.  Batteries in both our keys were flat and have now been changed but will be grateful for this if there is a next time.  (I should have checked the manual - I check it quite often - but forgot to do it this time.)

[HH_Sailor 3,533]

14 hours ago, kathdonn said:

Especially when the motor's running and your 4-month-old baby is alone in the car!

 

Some decades ago, a toddler was inside the car I was repairing. He pressed the door locks and couldn't open them again...

 

Luckily, this was a Ford Escort in the 1970's...

and yes, the neighbour's Capri key fitted

perfectly!!