Tip of the day

1,759 posts in this topic

Do not, I repeat do not take the advice of bogus doctors on the Internet. This can lead to a ridicolous rise in temperature between your legs, a need for copious quantities of cold water to be poured on said region and a boner you could hit nails in to a 2x4 with.

Of course your lady friend may thank me, come to think of it!

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When meeting famous people try and actually look at them like you would a normal person - do not spend the whole meeting looking at the floor whilst repeatedly whispering to yourself 'Ohmigoditsreallyher'...

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If you are at a do and Orlando Bloom walks in with his friends to attend the same do - DO NOT get stupidly drunk...walk up to him trying hard to focus and ask him if you've seen him somewhere before because he looks so familiar.

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After chopping and preparing chillies, loads of them, do not secretly pick you nose.

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walk up to him trying hard to focus and ask him if you've seen him somewhere before because he looks so familiar.

This has happened to me too!

 

Well sort of... I've sometimes seen famous people walking around Munich or London, thinking 'I know that face.. where do I know them from? Work? Capoeira? Toytown?' about to approach them, only to realise that they are in fact celebrities from wherever, and I don't know them.

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:lol: well be sure - if you do end up doing it and get a little sentence in the Sunday paper referring to you as a sozzled young lady it is fairly embarassing, I could have kicked myself!

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If you are at a do and Orlando Bloom walks in with his friends to attend the same do - DO NOT get stupidly drunk...walk up to him trying hard to focus and ask him if you've seen him somewhere before because he looks so familiar.

Also when on an a piss up in the VIP section of P1 drunkly tell Boris Becker that your mum thinks he's cute and his accent is sexy.

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After chopping and preparing chillies, loads of them, do not secretly pick you nose.

But scratching your balls will provide minutes of entertainment to all those around you.

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Do not sleep walk and mistake the front door for the bathroom door. It is firstly embarrassing to ring the neighbours door naked at 4 in the morning to get a call to a locksmith. Secondly it is expensive.

I hope you're going to give up sleep walking, not sleeping in the nude???

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When meeting famous people try and actually look at them like you would a normal person - do not spend the whole meeting looking at the floor whilst repeatedly whispering to yourself 'Ohmigoditsreallyher'...

just a question, who did you meet??

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just a question, who did you meet??

Uma Thurman.

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Do not put a canned sponge pudding with treacle in a saucepan to boil and then sit down to watch a film and forget about it, especailly if you have an artex ceiling. :blink:

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If there is a fly in your sink make sure the spray can you have is fly spray and not expanding foam...

 

This can ruin your day.

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Do not put a canned sponge pudding with treacle in a saucepan to boil and then sit down to watch a film and forget about it, especailly if you have an artex ceiling.

Explosion? My aunts did that MANY years ago - some recipe required a can of Carnation milk to be heated in a pan of boiling water. The whole kitchen needed redecoration...

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If there is a fly in your sink make sure the spray can you have is fly spray and not expanding foam...

also not hair spray. That doesn't kill the fly but does stiffen him up a bit (can no longer fly but can glide...).

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At work always refuse the ''Two minute jobs'' or at least be very cautious like get a number that you can charge against.

 

Never put washing up liquid in a dishwashing machine - you will be knee high in soap suds. Maybe something you can do last when leaving a shared apartment though.

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