How to legally annoy your neighbor

108 posts in this topic

Mia, I think you need to run a guest column of this stuff on my blog.

Obviously, you're not going to try the illegal stuff or anything obvious, but some of these ideas are too lovely not to document.

I'd recommend running ideas you want to try past SaraByrd or someone else legally with-it to be sure you're not breaking the law - the cotton ball idea could get you a bill for repairing the finish on his car.

 

A negative example of automobile-directed pranks: the Pseudo-Hausmeister used to leave goopy chocolate pudding-pop sticks or candy bar wrappers or whatever he happened to pull half-swallowed from his mouth on the roof of my car. He trained his kid to push the (hinged) side mirrors in "as a safety measure," and shoved memo bits of paper behind the license plates. Once, when I'd parked on the street, there was a parking ticket under my windshield wiper. I'd had my permit in the window; the ticket was from the car two spaces behind mine. For some reason, this stuff never bothered me. For one, I couldn't be sure it was him every single time. In retrospect, I guess it just seemed so uninspired, the frustrated actions of a south american academic not all that successful in Germany who's suddenly, by one woman in the building, not viewed as THE MAY_UN.

 

I think I most favor GreenTea's esoterica inspiration.

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You are legally allowed to practice your bagpipes for I think 2 hours per day between 8AM and 8PM.

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hey nokareyes, where would you post that? i think Toytown would be a giveaway. maybe on that immobilienscout24 site?

 

Thanks again everyone!

you could make fliers with the address on it to rip off when walking by. Put them up at like the LMU or TUM area. Students are always looking for places to live! Also, this would make it impossible for him to trace back.

 

Oh my gosh, Dman, i'm keeping all of your ideas for whenver I have someone to annoy! Genius.

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I think I most favor GreenTea's esoterica inspiration.

Thanks, but I think the credit for that should go to Punchbear and his idea of alien abductions. I was just expanding on the theme.

 

Anyway, I don't want to spoil the fun, but I'm kinda hoping Mia has legal insurance and a good lawyer. This neighbour sounds like the kind of guy who would relish the opportunity to sue someone for harassment. He'd probably be quite prepared to hire a private detective to track down the culprit and collect incriminating evidence, and it could turn out expensive for Mia if she has to cover the damages including his legal costs, detective agency fees and the cost of hiring a priest to exorcise the house just in case. Or do they do exorcisms for free?

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if you can find out his home email (i.e. not gmail, hotmail, etc., but an actual internet provider email address), sign his email up to a bunch of porn sites.

 

endless spam for the rest of his life.

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Those beatches don't ship Mr. Hankey to germany! Crap. The picture in my head was priceless.

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Me and a mate used two trolley jacks to rotate a certain bastard's car so it faced the wrong way parked in a one-way street up in Bielefeld. Twas a grand hoot. Of course, we only did it once to avoid getting caught.

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definitely DON'T order him food from various pizza deliveries and chinese joints over time. DON'T Call Scientology and ask them to send someone to talk to him about joining up. DON'T write his telephone number on bathroom walls telling all what a good time they'll have. DON'T print up business cards from those vending machines with his contact details on them and leave them on random car windows (e.g. want to buy your car or feeling horny call me) DON'T have a friend use their handwriting to leave a message on a piece of paper that you place under the windscreen wiper on a very expensive vehicle saying that you've bumped their car with yours and want them to call you to discuss it, and for them NOT to call the police about it.

 

I'll think up some more things NOT to do to this guy.

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Buid a snowman with concrete blocks inside as the frame then make it look all fluffy, then when he goes to push it down or kick it he will have a suprise! Better yet - put stuff up in your garden, gnomes, snow men whatever but something that he will destroy then set up a camera, record him destroying them, possibly a couple times then call the cops for distruction of property and you have evidence! the walk around all smug and wen you see him just mutter "Jail Time"

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A lot of Bavarians have flags in their gardens (well out here in the Landschaft anyway). Perhaps the daily sight of the Union Jack would cheese him off :lol:

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best laugh I've had in ages reading these suggestions...

 

here are a couple more:

 

superglue in the keyhole

 

chinese firecrackers on his doorstep

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Hi,

Here´s an idea i have had much fun with in the past. Find a nice restaurant, one with a website which is not

too far from your home. Design a "Gutschein" - Gift certificate for lets say 60 Euros and write a nice letter and congratulate

this ass on winning the Gift certificate. Use the logo from the Website of the restaurant so it looks offical. Off he goes with his mrs

for a nice evening meal , orders, eates, calles for the bill and pulls out the forged Gutschein to pay - and ends up having to stump up for the meal.

 

Let me know how it works out if you try it , I have plenty more ideas if required.

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Is there a code you can dial to block your number from being displayed on a landline phone? Does the phone company keep records of the numbers you dial?

Yes they do (how do you think they know who and what to bill otherwise?). The code just stops your number being made public, but it is known all the way through the network.

 

I think you can still buy prepaid phones in the UK with out having to register them though...

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hey Mia,

 

tell us what happened!!

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Why you would want to annoy your Neighbor Is beyond me , Ive dealt with annoying Jack ass Neighbors when I lived in an apartment ,,,

 

I think you are putting your Umbrella on your Neighbors part of the fence just to Bug Him or her ,,,,, and now that's not working you are looking for other ways to annoy Him

 

Just because you are one of those Pest that have nothing better to do then to Do drugs , party and wait for your Penwellie Check to Come in ,,,, And your Neighbor is a decent honest and hard working

 

People who don't have a life are always looking for ways to annoy us hard working people because you are jealous of us

 

Good thing for you that you don't live near me ,,,Because I have ways to deal with annoying Neighbors

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Good thing for you that you don't live near me ,,,Because I have ways to deal with annoying Neighbors

Eh, the point of the thread was to share these

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well said Sas, its...1730 CET in US!! Uh oh! Mia said this neighbour was retired, invasive, had avoided all attempts at conciliation. Can we get back on track here? This is useful for people who are hassled by bullying neighbours.

My contribution would be, as I am teacher-trained, to drown them with attention; but, this is the hardest route. They will start to ignore you and want nothing to do with you if all you do is send them a Happy this and A Happy that card and bring them something from the bakers and your trip with a smile on your face. You will think they are just gorging it up and well they might, but if they do they are, as our friend in US points out, being given the behaviour that might calm them down and you get your peace. You on the other hand, get your respect for the price of 12 Broetchen, no? Teachers get trained to give and give to attention seekers until they show their learning needs. That is how to really fix it, pedagogy!! ;-*

 

As for me I'm going for the remote controlled fart machine for sure. 15 options!

 

best wishes for peace to you. Bad neighbours are not worth it.

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