How to legally annoy your neighbor

108 posts in this topic

 

The little flag was a soggy mess in the snow. So, obv this means war.

Send him a bill for its dry cleaning, too.

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Daniel Kübelbock. Book him to play a private concert in your garden on a Sunday evening for charity.

The neighbour might be the biggest asshole around, but surely he doesn't deserve that?

 

A couple of winters ago, a colleague had someone keep parking in his parking spot, just below his 3rd-floor balcony. One night he left a hose dripping slowly - in the morning the front end of the car was encased in ice.

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I think a collection of pink flamingos would complement the garden gnomes quite nicely.

You could also decorate walkway with pretty colored chalk.

or replace his front doormat to see if he gets confused if he went to the correct house

full his put water and snow in his trash can so it will freeze his garbage to the inside of the can

bubble wrap under his welcome mat

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Ask one of the TT Sat guys if they have a very old tatty dish, painted pink that you can just randomly stick in your garten near the fence pointed at the wrong sat. pretend to have a cable into the house somewhere and watch the reaction :)

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if you really want to annoy this guy i definately think that you should make a post about his apt being for rent and that it's open for showings this sunday.

 

or, sign him up for some porn mailings. i mean, SOMEONE will get use out of them, and it'll piss of his wife too.

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Need a setalite dish you can pick up one from me at 50 euros, including the reciver. We bought it when we first came here but realized it was not for us so for now it is just rotting away(not really its metal) anyway PM me if interested. Problem sorted!!!

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I would seriously also look at putting old, manky furniture out the front of your place. Maybe an old car body and some old building materials as well

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With a bit of social engineering his utilities could be suspended.

 

Do they do gay strip-a-grams in Germany? They aren't just for birthdays anymore.

 

Get a piece of wood and a hammer. Every time you fell like it place the wood against the common wall and whack the shit out of it, only once. Should be very loud and random but not too often. Best to do it when you get up at night to use the toilet. Short loud sounds are hard to locate, especially when startled out of a dead sleep ;)

 

You could use the shit bomb in combination with a new snow man.. If it's not too cold he would get quite a surprise.

 

Buy a used tuba and practice.

 

Condoms, mayonnaise.. use your imagination.

 

Crush red peppers on a cloth to collect the oils, wipe down his door knob, car handle, etc. with the cloth. Hope he's a nose picker.

 

Arrange to have his flat moved, painted, sprayed for bugs, etc..

 

Leave a note on his car apologizing for the damage but forget to leave the contact info.. He will go nuts looking for the nonexistent damage.

 

Vaseline on the wipers, if your afraid he will kill himself just do the rear wiper :>

 

On a really cold night get pot of water and add a bag of cotton balls. Take them out and decorate his car. They will freeze to the car and be a huge PITA to remove until it thaws.

 

Order him a taxi, schedule it for 3am. Hell order 5 taxis in one night 1am, 2am, 3am...

 

Can you file a change of address in Germany?

 

Dog shit, it's the perfect gift. Mail him some.

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Hehehe... :P

 

1. Plastic water pistol full of Brake fluid. Shoot at his car and the Paint will peel off

 

2. Buy one of those Plug timer thingies - set it to go off at irregular intervals when your out of the house and hook up your Stereo on full blast to it. If he mentions it then tell him he must be imagining things!

 

3. Building foam - you can get it from any Baumarkt - up the car exhaust or in the Keyhole - you can also use this stuff to seal his house doors from the outside!!!

 

4. Buy a LARGE Machete or a Replica Gun - and make sure he sees you muttering to yourself whilst watching him with a strange glint in your eye.

 

5. Ring up the Jehovas Witnesses or any other crazy organisations you can think of and ask them to come and visit as you need to be "shown the way".

 

6. Anonymous tips to the Finanzamt and the Arbeitsamt that hes on the Schwarzarbeit...and to the GEZ for his TV licence.

 

7. Ring his missus and tell her that your the Hospital and have the results of the AIDS test for him.

 

8. Fit a 1000W floodlight with a timer or Movement sensor outside your front door - make sure its set to go on every time hemoves in front of his house.

 

9. Look at www.Iwoot.com" I want one of those - they have a Universal TV remote called TV begone. You can switch off any TV with it.

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With a bit of social engineering his utilities could be suspended.

I've read all your suggestions and they are not only cruel and wicked, but some were quite funny. What an imagination you all have! I would not want to be an annoying neighbor of any of you.

 

Anyway, I chuckled when I read the above quote because many, many, years ago I did this to a boyfriend who I had broken up with to get even. It was in February in sub-zero degree weather in Chicago. He was gone on vacation for 2 weeks. While he was gone I had his mail transferred to a post office box that I created to get his mail and then I had his electricity shut off at his house and his water pipes were broken and his refrigerator was thoroughly defrosted when he returned.

 

I also charged two tickets to an amazing Diane Schur concert on his credit card as I had his credit card number from having the mail transferred to a post office box. I took my brother with me to the concert.

 

Now I wouldn't have the heart to do this again or any of the other things you've suggested. If I had an annoying neighbor now, I would only pray I could find some compassion to forgive them or I would move out. My peace of mine is far more important to me to fight with or to live in disharmony with a neighbor.

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mr wilson, now. :)

 

well, it's been great fun to hear all of your ideas. some things i think i could get away with and other things i think it'd be too obvious that it was me. i would never screw with a german's car though i love all the ideas Dman came up with (very evil and lovely), especially the note! his car is in one of those underground garage things that you need a key to get into, and the cars stack, and of course the bmw would never be parked outside. but i'm working on the other ideas. i should be getting my 2,60 meter high, lit-up snowman in the mail tomorrow ... so far i've just ordered him porn and pussy cat catalogs, and made a small contained mess in front of my door (actually it's quite funny how pissed off germans get if you don't keep your stuff neat).

Is there a code you can dial to block your number from being displayed on a landline phone? Does the phone company keep records of the numbers you dial?

 

hey nokareyes, where would you post that? i think Toytown would be a giveaway. maybe on that immobilienscout24 site?

 

Thanks again everyone!

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Hire an industrial electro-magnet, wire it up, put it on the wall facing his apartment and crank up the field then reverse the field and repeat. It's not cheap, but a hell of a lot of fun for 24 hours. He'll think he's got a poltergeist.

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I think Punchbear's idea is brilliant, about bringing him fame as a target of alien abductions. Add to that the poltergeist trick with the industrial magnet, and generally spread the word among any new-age, esoteric, witchcraft, ghost-hunting, and similar communities, that his house is a focus of all manner of paranormal phenomena. All together now: "Who ya gonna call?..."

 

He'll have freaks and weirdos organising field trips, camping outside his house and ringing his doorbell day and night. And the best thing about those types is that, once their psychic antennae are activated, they insist on seeing additional phenomena everywhere. He will never be able to debunk the myths, and will become an international paranormal celebrity. :lol:

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Do post picture, mia_V, we are getting kind of curious here... Thanks in advance and happy hunting!

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