Embarrassing mistakes made when speaking German

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the other day i went to the doc to have him look at my foot. i slipped on vacation and it banged on stone staircases. anyway. I was meaning to say, "ich bin ausgerutsch" ( i slipped) but i said, "ich bin gewuertzt" ( i am spiced) ha, the look on her face was priceless. it took me a minute to realize my mistake. she corrected me and started laughing, as did i. made for a good story over dinner with the fam that night. but the words do sound a lot alike. :P

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Im sure i posted something along these lines previously...but cant find it anymore.

 

Future parents-in-laws are gathered for that traditional Sunday afternoon coffee and cakes...mother says something mildly amusing...all and sundry do that pleasant plastic laughter

 

and I ruin it all by turning to my beloved and saying in english "Your mother is a nutter"

 

Some of the words were understood, namely:

 

Mother and Nutte

 

I´ll get my coat!

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I was describing an old student house in the UK to a friends sister when I said that the area was quite rough, the kind of place with broken glass onto of the walls etc and we even had bars on the ..

 

At this point instead of saying fenster I said Fernseher...

 

She looked at her borhter and asked if had really studied in this place and how he got out alive...

 

It took him a few minutes to stop laughing and correct my mistake...

 

She actualy thought we had the TV in a cage to stop people from taking it...

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I was talking to one of my colleagues at work the other day about the fact that I was spending the weekend building furniture. He asked if I needed a hand or some tools, I said "Nein, ich glaube es geht schon danke - ich kann fast alles mit nur eine Hubschrauber erledigen" What I meant to say was of course Schraubendreher (Screwdriver) instead of Hubschrauber (Helicopter), but at least now there is a running joke in the office...

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As an absolute beginner with dodgy pronunciation, I took a stab at the plural of apple and asked someone if they "gladly ate garbage". Abfall/"Apfelle"

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Hi Newcomer here,

 

  • On reassuring my German mother-in-law who was in hospital... (She had a malfunctioning thyroid)...
    "Keine Sorge Oma, es wird alles OK. Meine Mutter hat auch oft Probleme mit ihre Schildkröte - jetzt geht es ihr wieder gut."
    Of course - Schildrüse is the thyroid gland. She was not having problems with her tortoise.
  • Also, even though I know what a "Schießstand" really is, I still read and understand it wrongly before my brain rights it again.
  • My daughter, whilst reading out in a school church service, told the angel to "verziehen". (instead of verzeihen)
  • My teenage son says he never makes mistakes, but he got the old Vögel(n) chestnut wrong in Biology.

 

BFN

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Upon my first time in Germany.

 

I tried to ask a question at the ticket counter in the Banhof. I got my cases confused, and thought I was saying" my German is not so good, do you speak English" The man at the ticket counter gave me a weird look and said back to me: " I speak German, do you speak English?" :rolleyes:

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:lol: They are all class, I find it rather cute than embarrassing. Ok here is one from me, though the case is different, I am a german living in the UK. One evening I was talking to my other half and meant to say forehead but said foreskin instead. We killed ourself with laughter, thank god his parents were not around that would have been superpeinlich!

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Hi,

 

I'm a Thai living in Germnany. Sometimes I do have a problem with my 'r' and 'l'. One day I went to the bakery and say :

 

Guten Tag, ich hätte gern zwei normale Blödchen und ein mal weich Blödchen, bitte.

 

I saw her seller's face turned red..

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doesn't have to do with german language..but funny non the less...my sister and i had just watched Independence Day (yes this was a long long time ago) and she was telling our dad about the aliens and their many TESTICLES. ha...the entire family happened to be around for this one and i thought my dear grandmother was going to have a heart attack...he was so embarrassed that he couldn't even correct her.

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was at a dinner party. the hostess was bringing around another round of wine, and I asked her "Hast du noch sex?" (sekt) which caused everyone to crack up

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"false friends" are killer in any language. When my wife was learning English, many years ago, she was playing cards with a bunch of Americans and explaining the rules,

 

"First, you lay your ass on the table..."

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I'm a Thai living in Germnany. Sometimes I do have a problem with my 'r' and 'l'. One day I went to the bakery and say :

 

Guten Tag, ich hätte gern zwei normale Blödchen und ein mal weich Blödchen, bitte.

Which reminds of the joke "Why did the Japanese guy come out of the bakery with a blonde girl on each arm?" - "He asked for "Zwei Blödchen"

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In the store I used to work in we had two cute girls from england as exchange students.

 

It's summer and about 30+

The airconditioning is broken or can't handle the heat so we are all sweating like pigs.

Pal of mine and me are eating lunch when these two walk in and sit down across from us, since I was the only person that could speak English and we got along pretty well.

 

She doesent have much of anything on(top).

 

Throws her head back, runs her hands thru her hair and say's "I'k bin so heiss".

 

Seriously meaning she feels hot since it is hot :o

 

My pal gags on his lunch and I drop off the chair as she looks at us like were going crazy.

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Ah the good old false friends...a friend of mine once told me about a guy she knew that had told a hot dog vendor in NYC that he "becomes a hot dog". :D

 

My dad sometimes has trouble knowing which words contain u-umlaut and which have only a u. When his German gf once asked him whether he was ready to go out, he said "Ja, ich muss nur noch schnell die Katze futtern" ("eat the cat" as opposed to saying "füttern"--> "feed the cat"). That one really cracked me up.

 

An Indian woman I know once complained how "schwul" it was outside. Lol.

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I said to someone "Haben einen guten Fart“ when what I really meant to say was "Haben einen guten Fahrt“

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I had lived in Munich (Germany) just a few months and managed to speak German quite all right, but still made a lot of mistakes.

Once I told an Italian guy who I was friends with (although not without some mutual attraction) that I have to move out in May.

 

I meant to move out (ausziehen) but I back then used to mix up this expression with the reflexive form, which is (sich ausziehen - to undress.)

 

In reply to this he just laughed and told that he actually it is ok with him but why not before May!!! :o

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Dang if I didn't ask the two secretaries today where the "Gummis" (condomns/jimmy hats) were. I am pretty sure they were chuckling as I left. What is worse, we don't even call erasers "gummys" in american english - not sure where I picked that one up.

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In Salzburg to the Pension guy: Let's please speak German because I need to practice and I find the Austrian accent unangenehm...I meant unfamiliar. whoops.

 

In Latin class (yeah, yeah, I know 1) not German 2) Latin? WTF?) we were translating the story (from Latin to English) of the Sword of Damocles. I "got" to translate the sentence that described the unsheathed sword (in Latin: nudus gladius) hanging over poor Damocles' head. I said "naked gladiator". It was 9th grade; there was laughter. :)

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