Embarrassing mistakes made when speaking German

353 posts in this topic

haha reminds me of the classic "boo- boo" which I am sure alot of us have made, esp. in the summer.

*"ich bin so heiss." hahaha I dont know how many times I've said that.

 

*translated: I'm so horny. Correct would be: "Mir ist heiss". or "Mir ist warm"

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A friend's 7 year old daughter, who was just getting to grips with German at the time, came home from school one day complaining that the teacher had told her off for sweating too much. Her mother, clearly annoyed, went and had a word with the teacher demanding an explanation for this rather harsh treatment. It turned out that she hadn't been sweating (schwitzen) but chattering (schwätzen). Du schwätzt zu viel! Classic!!!

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this whole thread is soooo funny ! I have all this ahead of me. Look forward to making my first embarassing mistakes ! I can barely count to ten at the moment !

 

cheers,

 

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At a Bayerische restaurant, i raised my hand at the waitress wanting to ask for an ashtray.

But instead of saying Ascher/Aschenbacher, i said Arsch instead...

She looked at me, pointed at her behind, and waved her finger 'no-no' at me :o

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When I first moved to Germany, my (then) boyfriend invited me to dinner at a Besenwirtschaft. We got the last table, a cozy one for two, with candlelight, under the stairs. Then menu was in the old script. My boyfridnd asked me what I'd like to eat, & I replied a "Kaiserschnitt". He chuckled & said "Gina, I don't think that's on the menu". I insisted it was, & showed him the item on the menu. He pointed out that the item was a "Käseschnitt" (cheese platter), and went on to say that it's a good thing I didn't tell the waiter that's what I wanted, because the whole room would have burst out laughing! He then explained that a "Kaiserschnitt" was a caesarian section! :P

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Even though this didn't end up being embarrassing because it wasn't said in public, it was so funny I wanted to share it. One of our first weeks here my husband got a cold and I went to the Apotheke to get him some medicine. I had looked up the word for cold and successfully obtained Grippostad C. When I brought the box back we started looking up the words on the box. The first thing on it was Kopf- und Gliederschmerzen. We knew the word Kopf (head) and schmerzen (pains) but we had to look up Glieder. The first entry in our dictionary was penis! (We realized, as we read the other definitions, that Glieder can also mean limb - which made a whole lot more sense!) I still laugh everytime I see Grippostad thinking about how it helps penis pain.

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we had a young chap come to work and he needed a new bed. Going into the shop he asked for a 'zwei meter Matrose. instead of a 'zwei meter Matratze.' He had asked for a 'two meter sailor' which had the shop assistants looking strangely at him. My boo boo was asking for a pouffe (to put my feet up on) not realising its also another word for a brothel.

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I used to work for a condiment manufacturer was trying to explain to a customer that our mustard is produced without preservatives. What I said was: "Der Senf wird ohne Preservative hergestellt". He couldn't stop laughing.

i just read this thread again. what a great way to start the day! anyhow, okay, along the line of this, when my previous ex first arrived in the U.S., he said he wanted to "impregnate" his shoes. of course the german word is "imprägnieren" and the first word in his dictionary to describe this of course had another meaning! and since i had no german, was quite a bit puzzled.

 

one of my first mistakes, i was describing a pair of pants i wanted to buy to a colleague and said "die sind leicht schimmlig". of course what i had said is "they are slightly moldy", when of course I meant "shiny" (schimmern). my friend still teases me about that one.

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I confidently announced one day that a building with an onion-shaped dome (zwiebelturm) had a tower of doubt (zweifelturm) and now i always have to pause a second to figure out which is which. Same with schussel and schlussel- actually im not sure right now which is which...

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Made a total ass of myself at lunch today. I was bragging about how I don't normally fall on skis and I said, "but you never know, your boot sometimes just releases from the binding"

 

But instead of saying "Bindung" I said "Binden", which are maxi-pads. I corrected myself right away, but everyone laughed nonetheless. Ahh.. I'm an idiot.

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It wasn't in German...but it was German related...

 

Doesn't kurve mean trash can or something in German? I could swear it did. I was teaching English in the Czech Rep., and wanted a trash can. So I went up to the secretary, and asked her if she had a 'kurve'. Well, that means whore in Czech. I asked the secretary if she had a whore. She just smiled.

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...Doesn't kurve mean trash can or something in German? ...

Maybe you mean "korb". That's a basket. Or Müllkorb , trash basket?

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A few years ago my wife misread the chalkboard menu and ordered the "muschi" instead of the "musceln." It was quite a hoot.

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Oh this thread is so funny!!

 

Ok it happened once to me when i visited my new german relatives. We baked a cake for them so i was quite proud and said:

 

"Wir haben ein Kuchen gebraucht!" (I wanted to say We BROUGHT a cake) ..My new auntie then looked at me funnily and said (in Deutsch), "Errmm, yes we have cakes here for you"

 

It took me sometime to realize i mixed gebracht with gebraucht (So what i actually said was 'We NEEDED a cake'). That was SO embarassing!!

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I am sure I make them daily, but I am so immersed in Denglish that I probably just fail to realize it (as a scientist, we speak a total mixture at work).

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Having just moved to a new flat without a washing machine, my friend, in search of a launderette, carted her laundry in a black bag all the way across town to the Landratsamt. (District Council offices)

My mum thoroughly puzzled our next door neighbour by telling her that she'd just been talking to the Pferd at church. (Pferd=horse, Pfarrer=priest)

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I looked after a cat for a neighbour for a while... unfortunately whenever I went there to feed it, I used to stand on the doorstep shouting "Mushi! Muschi! Hier! " up the street.

 

Well nobody told me it meant the other sort of pussy...

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Why are you yelling muschi?

 

Is it a German cat?

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Well yes... I thought I was yelling "Here Pussy..." but I may have inadvertently been advertising my...erm...wares... *oops*

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