Embarrassing mistakes made when speaking German

353 posts in this topic

I used to live with a woman and her young daughter, a six year old. It was there that the verb 'pullern' first came to my attention, and I began using it regularly. Unfortunately, as the child was prone to wetting her pants, it was 'einpullern' that I learned and understood to mean 'pee'. The end result is that I told my friends on more than one occasion that I just needed to quickly pee my pants and then I'd be ready to go before somebody set me straight.

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Christmas day at my Gerwoman's family home. My Mother-in-law asks me if I'd like a coffee. I said no thanks. She asks why, don't I like coffee or something.

 

My reply: "ich trinke Kaffee nur wann ich kalt bin".

 

German understanding: "I only drink coffee when I'm not horny".

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I asked someone if that other guy next to him is his son.

''er ist dein sonne?''

 

He thought im accusing them of being gays:/

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i needed to ask the secretary to make copies of the training material for a coaching seminar. the original was in color and I wanted to say i didn't care if it was in color or B&W, so i said, "es ist egal, es macht mich nicht an....komisch stare...um....aus..."

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When I went to a hairsalon, I asked the hairdresser if she has the time for 'beschnitten' rather 'beschneiden' :blink:

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A friend from Australia went with me to a skiing trip in the French Alps and got run over from behind the very first day. As a result, she had a walking cast for some time. It wasn't removed before she went home. Then I got a call:

 

"Sneffels, ick bin so froh, sie habe mir die Gebiß abgenommen."

 

"Sie haben was?"

 

"Sie habe die Gebiß abgenommen."

 

:blink::o:lol:

 

"Ah, sie haben dir den Gehgips abgenommen?"

 

"Ja."

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Managed to embarrass myself today. Apparently, when asking if one can tell the sex of the baby, one ought to use Geschlecht and not Sex.

 

On the plus side, my Frauenarzt outright giggled. It has taken four years but I broke his facade and made him human.

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Are there two of these threads? I remembered it being longer.

 

I've made this mistake before, I'm sure I'll make it again.

 

I just exclaimed, out of breath to the post office just before closing, "Ich bin geronnen". As I walked home, I had time to think about having the mistake explained to me in the past. On goes the computer, up comes Leo, and as I feared - I realise I should have said "gerannt". I'll never get those two right!

 

:(

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I once ran into an old boss of mine on the street. He was impeccably dressed: great looking suit, nice tie that screamed "expensive", shiny shoes, fresh hair-cut. So I want to say: "Mr X you are looking sharp today!" and of course what comes out is "Herr X Sie sehen so scharf aus". The change of his facial expression and my embarrassment will forever be imprinted in my memory.

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A colleague who has lived here for an extremely long time left the lady at the till with a cheery 'Durchfall!'.

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On 17.3.2013, 16:25:23, arahlucky said:

When I went to a hairsalon, I asked the hairdresser if she has the time for 'beschnitten' rather 'beschneiden' :blink:

 

Both of which are wrong, as they are just different tenses of 'to circumcise'. :D

 

(It's an old post, but the OP meant simply 'schneiden'.)

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@Derek: You and me both. If I had one Euro cent for everytime I've made that mistake, I'd be filthy rich. :lol:

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2 minutes ago, Porky Pine said:

@Derek: You and me both. If I had one Euro cent for everytime I've made that mistake, I'd be filthy rich. :lol:

 

I wonder how many times gay people get asked by foreigners if they're humid.

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A while back, I was working in a consulate general, where I was training a new (French) intern. The invitations had gone out for Munich’s finest to attend a star-studded event celebrating the country’s national holiday. When the guests rang up to accept, we were to ask them “Kommen Sie mit Begleitung?” and get the spouse/plus-one’s name. After listening to me do this several times, the intern then took over and promptly asked the guest of honour “Kommen Sie mit Bekleidung?” :P

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32 minutes ago, Chocoholic said:

 

A while back, I was working in a consulate general, where I was training a new (French) intern. The invitations had gone out for Munich’s finest to attend a star-studded event celebrating the country’s national holiday. When the guests rang up to accept, we were to ask them “Kommen Sie mit Begleitung?” and get the spouse/plus-one’s name. After listening to me do this several times, the intern then took over and promptly asked the guest of honour “Kommen Sie mit Bekleidung?” :P

 

I can only imagine the number of responses that were something along the lines of, "oh, it's THAT kind of party?"

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4 hours ago, Derek said:

So many times I've described humid weather as being gay.

 

 

In Red Heat in the German version Schwarzenegger describes the weather in Russia as "nicht schwul!" 

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I had a German instructor in a California community college who went absolutely postal anytime anyone mentioned the fast food joint called "Wienerschnitzel". He would just lose it for about 30-45 seconds while he explained the stupidity of the name of the place . :) 

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