How German men show romantic interest

145 posts in this topic

Back to the poster's case though: He knows you're interested. At this point, if I was you (and I know I'm not so please excuse me if my advice is bad)...I would back off now. Just wait and see what happens.

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The words "devious" and "manipulative" spring to mind. You make it sound like like men are dogs. This is how an entire women's sports team I know became known as the "dumb bitches". But I'm sure not all women are like this...

...just the majority!

Schotte don't take this the wrong way but I think that the fact that the first two adjectives you thought of when contemplating the words: "feminine" and "charms" were so misogynistic is more telling of your attitude than that of mine or the completely unjustified naming entire female ball teams as "dumb bitches".

To be a charming person is a gift ..who says that charm and sincerity are incompatible???!!! The most charming people (both female and male) that I have known in my life have been sincere people and honest.

And as far as the word "feminine" goes...well..many men attach "deviousness" and "manipulation" to the female form. It is one wonderful biproduct of a sexist, sad, society in which too many men AND women have unhealthy attitudes about the opposite sex.

I consider myself (in person) to be a very charming woman..and I am most definately sincere.

And yes, men will follow a truly feminine, charming woman. It has nothing whatsoever to do with being canine-like. It's human nature as much as it is my nature to follow a charming, masculine man.

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Being German, I have never understood this American dating stuff...Who can explain?

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It's more relaxed than the European approach, you can "date" people without having to put down labels on it.

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I thought it was the other way round - American date = always romantic - European date = can also be meeting as friends without romantic intentions

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@ Liab

Define "date" as in the American version , does it entail

I holding hands , no bodily fluids exchanged

II kissing

III kissing and a bit of the old in-out

IV kissing , in-out and ass2mouth

V foodstuff insertion a la inflateablewoman's guide to keepin the passion goin in romance

VI talking and stuff

or a combination of the above , if so then which combination?

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See, nobody knows what to expect from a date that's why people are confused when they are having a date :-)

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@ Liab

Define "date" as in the American version , does it entail

I holding hands , no bodily fluids exchanged

II kissing

III kissing and a bit of the old in-out

IV kissing , in-out and ass2mouth

V foodstuff insertion a la inflateablewoman's guide to keepin the passion goin in romance

VI talking and stuff

or a combination of the above , if so then which combination ?

It can be all or none or some combined, depending on the ugliness or prettiness of your date.

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maybe if the original poster could post a picture and then we can tell her if he's interested or not

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Schotte don't take this the wrong way but I think that the fact that the first two adjectives you thought of when contemplating the words: "feminine" and "charms" were so misogynistic is more telling of your attitude than that of mine or the completely unjustified naming entire female ball teams as "dumb bitches".

To be a charming person is a gift ..who says that charm and sincerity are incompatible???!!! The most charming people (both female and male) that I have known in my life have been sincere people and honest.

And as far as the word "feminine" goes...well..many men attach "deviousness" and "manipulation" to the female form. It is one wonderful biproduct of a sexist, sad, society in which too many men AND women have unhealthy attitudes about the opposite sex.

I consider myself (in person) to be a very charming woman..and I am most definately sincere.

And yes, men will follow a truly feminine, charming woman. It has nothing whatsoever to do with being canine-like. It's human nature as much as it is my nature to follow a charming, masculine man.

The dumb bitches comment didnt originate from me incidentally, and in that you know none of them, I dont think you can question its "justification". Nor was it a "ball team", reading what you want to read now are you? ;)

You are trying to make it sound like being "charming" is all you are talking about, when previously in fact you were implying playing games in effect with guys and letting them do all the work, no doubt making tits of themselves along the way as you say "jump" and they say "how high". Its not big and its not clever, and personally women like that are to be avoided, IMO.

I'm not really sure why you talk about charming so much in that last post, I'm charming in person but I won't mess with people's hearts the way some people do - leading them on, making them jump through hoops etc.

Women who think "the chase" is something they "deserve" have their head up their backsides.

Why should anyone follow anyone!! I dont get it, wrong attitude! This is how one person dominates a relationship and they dont work.

Not saying you do any of this, but it does seem that way from what I can gather.

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Dating. A date. My Germanic guy seems to never understand and I finally understand why.

A date can be whatever a couple wants it to be : a movie, dinner, a stroll, coffee, a concert, etc.

It's two people trying to feel if they have a connection and wheter to pursue that further.

The difference is, why my man has never dated, or so I've come to surmise is that:

They remain friends, and see it as friendly.

As opposed to me, for the men I've dated if I didn't feel a connection, or

was turned off, basically that was it. Over and out, even if we were friends.

Where I'm from everyone dates.

We even have some special ones called Blind dates and Speed dating.

(To be done with much caution)

Whereas my guy met all his ex's as friends and it started off as friendly. And he

even remains friends with some of them.

My real question about German/Austrian men is what do they consider romance?

And----how do they propose marriage? As a surprise or is it all planned out

in ordnung. :P

I'm all ears.

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jabeli, how someone proposes marriage is hardly anything to do with their nationality but with personality. So it depends on how romantic the guy is. I guess there is less of a tendency in Germany to do it all romantically and typically there is no big bling (diamond companies never advertized in Germany like they did in the States), but that does not mean a German cannot propose in a romantic way.

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You are trying to make it sound like being "charming" is all you are talking about, when previously in fact you were implying playing games in effect with guys and letting them do all the work, no doubt making tits of themselves along the way as you say "jump" and they say "how high". Its not big and its not clever, and personally women like that are to be avoided, IMO.

No, I wasn't implying that..nor do I think that. It's your assumption that that is what I mean..when it isn't. I simply believe in allowing men to act like men and women to act like women without worring about political correctness or far-fetched feminism.

In general men enjoy a bit of chase..according to their own admissions..and as a woman I like a man sending me flowers and "wooing" me. That's not dishonest game-playing..that's healthy, enjoyable mating "ritual". You can call it a game if you want. I don't see it that way.

Women who think "the chase" is something they "deserve" have their head up their backsides.

See? this is another example of you adding words to a concept and completely twisting it. What woman anywhere here said anything about "deserving" anything? Honestly and with all due respect, you are responding to my thoughts with thoughts of your own that must be based either on a past negative experience (with a dishonest, manipulate woman) or on experiences of others that you have viewed). Or a combination of both.

I said (and I recap)

1. That I personally would not "chase" a man (because if he's running away from me I assume he doesn't want me

2. That if I am interested in a man I let him know but I don't bombard him with 10 telephone calls and dozens of emails a week

3. That a charming woman (and I stipulated in response to you that I mean a sincere woman) doesn't need to chase men around, they will naturally "follow" her. Meaning: she will attract a man ..no need to be desperate.

Now how you infere, negative, dishonest and insincere "game playing" into that I do not know. I can only assume myself that you do so because you misunderstand my fundamental feelings on the matter.

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And speaking of playing games: let's consider the vast experience that men have at "gaming" women to get them into bed. Perhaps a woman wants to be woo'd and romanced because she wants to fall in love and love a man. But what about men gaming women for the purpose of sex only..in a very dishonest way?

Take the book: The Game

Manipulation, thy name is Man ;)

I like one of the reviews on Amazon:

I also think that the techniques described encourage objectification of women to an extreme, and aren't particularly healthy for guys, either.

It's easy to see how becoming an expert in seduction would sound, well, seductive. But these "expert" philosophies all have one thing in common: They treat women as the enemy. And we're not, I swear!

On a personal note: We have been talking about generalistic gender preferences in regards to dating. I want to love and be loved. I can have sex without love but I don't really enjoy it...at all. Is that just because I am female? I don't think so as I know plenty of women who can have fabulous sex without feeling "in love". But I need the intimacy and passion and that buzzed "in love" feeling to let go. So, yes,..romance turns me on and keeps me warmed up.

Laprof,

if this guys turns down your dinner..you can cook for me next time I'm in Munich! :)

Schotte, I just looked at your profile and see you are only 24 years old. OK, that explains it. Wait until you are in your mid-thirties and have a bit more experience under your belt before you try to summerize all women who are aware of the value of "feminine charms" as being "manipulative". The wisest men on Toytown are all in their late 30s to late 40s. I'm thinking of Eurovol, BlueDave, Baddoggie and Madaxemurderer..Ask them what they think about women who give them space to be "the Man" when they feel they need it. Sorry but I have never met a young man in his early 20s that is fully experienced with understanding the subtle art of understanding and relating to women.

I have enough experience to say, without doubt that a charming, sincere woman who understands the gentle power of femininity and can read a man well enough to know when to back off and let him take the lead for a change...is a wise woman. She's not a game-player..she's fucking smart as hell and she doesn't emasculate men by trying to be in control all of the time. THAT is what I mean when I say, "let the man chase...if he WANTS to".

edit: and I am not taking the piss because you are young or disrespecting your opinion because you are young. Please don't take it that way. I am just sincerely saying that you might have a different view point in 10-15 years.

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Laprof if after just seeing him a few times he is already talking about his mother and what she thinks and says then it could be a wussy warning.

Hey Schotte, please let me know what those wise old men on Toytown Eurovol, BlueDave, Baddoggie and Madaxemurderer know about this I am eager to learn. All I learnt so far is that women like a good shagging - maybe there is more to it.

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Schotte,

I don't want you to take me the wrong way and think I am being condenscending because of your age...that's not what I mean. Sincerely..it really does make a difference. If for no other reason than I know that 20-24 year old girls behave alot differently than older women. So they way that they (the younger women) interpret my advice might be that they would play games.

So perhaps your view is based on how you have seen younger women behave?

Again thought, not all younger women would play games..Take Mere for instance..she's young and quite cool and ER as well.

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I can have sex without love but I don't really enjoy it...at all. Is that just because I am female?

Interesting, not the first time I have heard this. Common feeling among women?

Ok I've perhaps misunderstood your opinion of "chasing". To me you were implying about keeping your options open, seeing lots of guys then letting the one that jumps highest the one you let into your bubble. Only when I read about flowers etc did I think you meant something slightly different :)

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God no, Schotte..that's not what I meant at all!!

I mean seeing dating and mating as an "art"..albeit a much more creative, sexy art than tin-can sculpture...

That being said, I rarely ever "date" because I don't bother having dinner with a man if I don't feel that spark right away. Maybe I should...I don't know... ???

I'm happy waiting for love. And when I find it..I know what to do with it ;)

Interesting, not the first time I have heard this. Common feeling among women?

I don't know..some other women would have to comment...

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