German toilets, the "lay and display" design

46 posts in this topic

Right then,

 

Wife to be and I have just this minute had the following argument:

 

I pointed out the obvious superiority of British pans over Deutsch crappers.

 

I hate the smell you get which occurrs cos it just sits on the ledge, staring at you. In a British toilet it slides down into the water and doesn't smell.

 

Jeremy.

 

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I'm pretty sure that the normal german toilets use less water... although I think the new brit toilets are also pretty efficient. I reckon that's the reason why they're normally these "poo shelf" devices. My bog doesn't have the shelf!

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With most german toilets you can control how much water is used by pressing back on the panel/lever thing to close the valve. On british ones, once you've pulled the lever there's no stopping it, and the entire tank is released.

 

The downside of german ones is that in most cases the cistern (that's the tank that holds the water) is built into the wall behind the tiles. That means it's not possible to open it up to disinfect it, fix the mechanism, add a couple of bricks, etc.

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My grandparents have had a dual flush toilet (short or long flush) for more years than I can remember. What's the diff between that and the German system?

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If you've eaten a lot the night before the ledge can render your ride on the porcelain bus an experience needing of more paper than should be necessary imo. As I eat a lot I am happy to say that neither my shitter at home nor the one at work has a ledge. You must just be unlucky Jeremy.

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You're right Spuds, nowhere to stash the drugs when you can't get to the cistern.

 

Blast!

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The following is an excerpt from an article I wrote a few years ago on this topic.

 

The title is: "The Continental Shelf"

 

The idea of a shelf in a toilet means, in practical terms, that you either defecate very small turds like rabbit pellets or if you’re a person like myself who eats a lot and therefore lays large logs, you have to balance precariously with one hand on the toilet roll holder and one hand one the bath and lever yourself upwards inch by inch so that you can release the pasty. Otherwise you end up with piles and conical shaped shits where you’ve been forcing it against the porcelain. Either way, you inevitable end up with „Bremsstreifen“ (skid marks) along your inner thigh as the last and usually the sloppiest bit of the turd does „the scrotum scrape“. All this first thing of a morning coupled with the fact that whichever f*cker did say "yes" to the blueprint of "The Shelf" decided to add insult to injury and put a lip on the shelf and a pathetically weak flush that simply will not move the turd - no way. this means that you have to reach inside the bog and shift it with your hands. You have to wash your arse, your hands and the toilet. Stupid stupid stupid Appalling idea.

 

I don’t consider it taboo to talk about poo and I’ve asked a few Germans why, oh why does this phenomenon occur. The usual answer is „Well its practical if you want to take stool samples“.

 

Now. I, myself have a hereditary bowel condition which means that I probably have to take more than your average samples. Chefs, people who cook professionally, have to take I think three samples a year to be checked to make sure they are not passing on cholera or something. But your average person on the street - let me ask you a question. How many stool samples have you ever taken? I’m afraid I have to say, that even if I had to take a stool sample every time I dropped I would still prefer the old „turd in water“ model any day of the week. I mean it’s like a car with square wheels. The answer’s no, isn’t it?

 

Although these totally inconvenient toilets are becoming more and more rare, they still represent shit design.

 

The traditional brit crapper anytime.

 

karambos

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BTW, anyone seen

 

www.ratemypoo.com

 

Here you will find a range of exquisite thrones from around the world replete with defecatory exctract from a plethora of ethnic (western generally) digestive tracts.

 

Enjoy this after your lunch not before

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I wish I had a German toilet here in the UK. The British toilet splash a lot. ;)

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I personally love the korean toilet seat that my parents imported and installed. The thing is heated so there isn't every that cold shock upon sitting down. It has a bidet like function that washes your bum in various streaming jets of warm or cool water (depending on your preference and there is a "massage" mode as well) and then it has a blow dry function to finish off. It's the basic model so it doesn't have the music, lights, or air freshener fragrance modes like some of the fancier models do.

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I think it is very important to have the ability to inspect what you poop. "You are what you poop" as the saying goes, and if something should be going on that you should know about, you have the chance to clarify it ASAP. And since the German's call it a "Geschäft"...one should be able to admire ones work.

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The bad thing about these toilets is that they are just so unsanitary!

 

For one thing you have to flush 3-4 times to get most things away. Plus you would think rather than the 'bitte brusten' signs they would just buy better designed toilets.

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The bad thing about these toilets is that they are just so unsanitary!

If things aren't moving the way they should, perhaps it's due to a serioius lime scale buildup. Scrub the thing and soak with vinegar. After moving into the new flat I discovered that the turlet was cracked and asked specifically for the "display" type. They installed the small rear hole type instead. Still less water usage but this one's splashy. I'll admit to a bit of shock the first time I encountered them, but I quickly grew to prefer them. Among other reasons, there's no backsplash.

 

woof.

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Slavoj Zizek has some interesting commentary about toilets:

 

 

 

 

In a traditional German toilet, the hole into which shit disappears after we flush is right at the front, so that shit is first laid out for us to sniff and inspect for traces of illness. In the typical French toilet, on the contrary, the hole is at the back, i.e. shit is supposed to disappear as quickly as possible. Finally, the American (Anglo-Saxon) toilet presents a synthesis, a mediation between these opposites: the toilet basin is full of water, so that the shit floats in it, visible, but not to be inspected. No wonder that in the famous discussion of European toilets at the beginning of her half-forgotten Fear of Flying, Erica Jong mockingly claims that 'German toilets are really the key to the horrors of the Third Reich. People who can build toilets like this are capable of anything.' It is clear that none of these versions can be accounted for in purely utilitarian terms: each involves a certain ideological perception of how the subject should relate to excrement.

 

Hegel was among the first to see in the geographical triad of Germany, France and England an expression of three different existential attitudes: reflective thoroughness (German), revolutionary hastiness (French), utilitarian pragmatism (English). In political terms, this triad can be read as German conservatism, French revolutionary radicalism and English liberalism. In terms of the predominance of one sphere of social life, it is German metaphysics and poetry versus French politics and English economics. The point about toilets is that they enable us not only to discern this triad in the most intimate domain, but also to identify its underlying mechanism in the three different attitudes towards excremental excess: an ambiguous contemplative fascination; a wish to get rid of it as fast as possible; a pragmatic decision to treat it as ordinary and dispose of it in an appropriate way. It is easy for an academic at a round table to claim that we live in a post-ideological universe, but the moment he visits the lavatory after the heated discussion, he is again knee-deep in ideology.

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In a British toilet it slides down into the water and doesn't smell.

Sliding is still 'crappy'. You have to clean it after each use. Where's the convenience in that? In a US toilet you clean it once a month or even less if you have one of those blue water thingys.

Vote US. This is why we call it a toilet 'bowl'.

Found this photo.

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The amount of water in a US toilet makes one misleadingly think that splashback is increased, however it's actually the opposite, as one ends up easing the goods gently down into the water from close range. Smooth.

 

The second type is the worst as the drop is extremely high which means that anything larger than a pebbleshit (copyright Eddie Murphy) is going to generate copious amounts of urine-laced splashback. Unpleasant.

 

The third one is disgusting. I fail to see why anyone would want to see their stool on a platter? Reminds me of these vomit-inducing toilets you get in trains.

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What about some other types to condend with?

 

- hole in the floor with feet on either side, common on French service stations about 20 years ago

 

- basin to sit on, but still just a hole in the floor underneath, as seen on trains in the UK until recently (not to be used in the stations!)

 

Anyone else read this article recently?

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The bad thing about these toilets is that they are just so unsanitary!

 

For one thing you have to flush 3-4 times to get most things away. Plus you would think rather than the 'bitte brusten' signs they would just buy better designed toilets.

Shouldnt that be "bitte bürsten". Or do you mean "Bitte Brüsten"?!? :lol:

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