The Vent - No Chat!

10,422 posts in this topic

If you are just as big a bully to your wife as you are your Kiddie... No wonder you have no friends and have to sleep on the sofa most nights...!

 

Try looking in the mirror... pay back some of your depts and dont be the spoilt brat that your Father modeled you into...   Yes... You are just like your father!!   Ever wondered why your Mother left him?? Ever wondered why he got married the second time to "Ting tong from Tooting!"

 

 

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2 Vents in 24 hrs!!!  Fuck!

 

So.. Operation is planned for 13.45 tomorrow and has been that way for a week...   

Mondayis planned.. Tuesday morning Shopping for stuff as I will be house bound for a while... and drop off Car at Garage so they can do some repairs that I cant be arsed doing...

 

Collected at 12.00 by my buddy and driven to the clinic... Then collected by another Buddy as he drives home from work passing the Clinic.. 

 

Perfect... !!!  No one is inconvienienced!

 

Today at 0915....  "ring ring... ring ring.. ring....

 

Clinic....    We need to change your appointment tomorrow... Please come at 09:30hrs....

 

Fuck!   Thats now half a day lost!

 

 

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3 in a row!!!

 

AFN TV have been promising you all HD tv for the past 5yrs...

For the past 6 months rumours have been rife that the HD swich over will happen soon..

 

The Website for AFN has had all the info...  

 

I told you when I fitted your system about the change....( TO ALL CLIENTS!!!)

 

So why do you start sending me SMS/Whatsapp  because you dont have AFN?

 

READ THE FUCKING WEB PAGE AND MAKE THE CHANGE!

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Dear young bean-counter,

 

You were right. Since I changed my business so drastically, the Finanzamt made me get a new tax number and start the USt clock all over again. Don't ask me why they did that. Pick up the phone and call them. However, when I tell you I am no longer teaching, this is the only reason you need to have for why I am not covered by the tax law regarding teachers. Do you understand this? I. DO. NOT. TEACH. ANYONE. ANYTHING. ANY. MORE. Seriously, pull your ears and wait for the pop...or better yet, call the Finanzamt and ask them why a non-teacher isn't covered by the UST regs for teachers. They will be fascinated to hear your under ten years experience muse about the vagaries of what makes someone a teacher.

 

And don't call me again. You don't pay enough for what I really do to teach you shit for free.

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Some days such a plethora of irritations occur that they just get lumped into one big vent:

In re: Herr Young Bean-Counter above - Turns out that he had not asked the other examiner any of the same questions because I talked with her on Skype about it. So, when I emailed him and asked him why he had singled me out, he shot back with "Your invoice is accepted and has been paid." Mmmhmm, that's what I thought. See, what you not gon' do is mess with my money. I might be po' but I am proud.

 

Ancient British woman with whom I worked today: No, it is not acceptable for you to say, "Well, being married must be fun for you" in reference to my wife and me. Yes, same-sex marriage is new, but you have lost the privilege of belittling it. Was it fun for you to get married after fighting off the Visigoths? Thank your god or gods that I don't cause scenes on the job site or I would have read you for the filth you are. By they way, try opening your mouth. Those poor kids could not understand you at all. Maybe your dentures need an adjustment. Finally, no, you do not get to tell the client when they pay you. What was that? Of course she looked at you as if you had grown another head! You don't just spout off, "I expect this before the end of the month." This is business. terms are set in advance. When not specified, it's always a thirty (30) day net.

 

I almost forgot. To the relatively attractive lesbian stocker at the garden store. I can see that the dog food I am asking you for is not there in that place I am pointing to that is empty. It is clear that the question is if it is in the stockroom or not. Are you really so daft that I have to explain to you that I, too, see this empty space and that I want to know if you have any stock in the back. How dumb must you be? So cute and sooo stupid. 

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You have been loyal to me for ten years,but why did you desert me at this particular time?Four slices of fresh buttered bread a bottle of sarsons and now ! half cooked chips .bye bye chip pan and bye bye chip butties :( 

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Okay mrs bobbylines, tomorrow we set off in the motorhome and i know you have to plan what to take foodwise,but asking me what are we going to eat on the 4/5/6 th of january is testing my nerves as i just got home from work!JEEZ!!!

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I also occupy the special position of in-law. I do not however arrive as late as possible, leave as early as possible, do my best to eat as little as possible, make rude comments about the stuff I do eat, conspire to keep you out of the conversation, either fail to respond or disagree with or trash anything you do say, after the meal say that there is nothing else to eat so I'll be going now.

 

Really you are dicks. See you next year. And likely not before. It amuses me slightly that you bother coming at all. It means you really are at a loose end with nowhere else to go and as sorry socialites as we are.

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Ah, 'Fest der Liebe'...dear family and in-laws, you are truly emotional and social cripples.  Our new year resolution is to absolutely not let any of you upset any of us again.

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What sort of person/people would do something like this?

 

Burglars targeted a church on Christmas Day, stealing £20,000 in electrical equipment as well as silverware thought to be over 100 years old.

 

Thieves broke into St Lleurwgs Church, Hirwaun, Rhondda Cynon Taff during the early hours, said South Wales Police.

Reverend Ceirion Rees said the Christmas Day service had to be carried out in the adjacent church hall.

He said after initial shock and anger, he and parishioners had been touched by the kindness of the community.

"Even though it is a horrible thing, it has been unifying," said.

Stolen items include a PA system, laptop and religious silverware including a crucifix and candlesticks.

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-42500625

 

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Arguments in your favour: you are pushing 80. On that account everything has to be excused. However:

I did not appreciate arriving home after a 10 hour gruelling journey to have to clean the toilet seat before sitting on it.

I did not appreciate having to buy my own lunch the first three days.

I did not appreciate the scrappy left overs including green mouldy tomatoes and two-day old cold chips from the chippy and two-years old out of date beer that were supposed to pass for a New Year's Eve sumptuous feast. I did think that your remark about you all eating well was quite funny.

I did not appreciate being deliberately goaded into the inevitable ritual debacle 24 hours into my visit in order to establish the pecking order over two rounds. It feels like emotional cannibalism. Every time.

I did not appreciate your silly, smug smile as you watched me explode. You think you won. I beg to differ. I really do.

I did not appreciate the ensuing tension and crap atmosphere and having to wait 3 days for the end of my visit which included me hiding in pubs at 5 in the afternoon just to avoid you and your prying questions.

Arguments not in your favour: I cannot remember a time it was not like this.

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I hate it when people who are not Americans, and more importantly, not Marines wander around the Internet shouting "Semper Fi" !

Dudes, it doesn't make you look any better/sexier/more heroic/more intelligent to piggyback on a military life/career choice that carries a heavy price (combat injuries, loss of individuality during training aka brainwashing etc.) for those involved.

 

Do invent your own catch phrases.

 

 

 

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Dearest rubbish collecting company,

 

I get it that the road ( paved track ) becomes  private property  tomorrow, I really do. 

I also get it that you are not allowed to enter private property in collecting bins.

What I do not get is that, once you have a vollmacht signed by yours truly allowing you to enter the private property and absolving you of any possible damage to said property for the duration of the known universe, that you will still not come down the road / track, Thus forcing us to transport said bins on the back on the flatbed around 1km to the main road.

 

Having had a chat with the lads on the trucks, ( they are the most helpful bunch of guys  evah ) it is not a problem for them, just for you.

 

First world problem

 

 

 

 

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Mold, you are my new best friend...

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