The Vent - NO CHAT!!!

10,477 posts in this topic

It's quite simple really...

 

I need 10 - 14 days below zero to let the lake to freeze with more than 10cm ice.

Then I need a WIND...

 

How else can I finally get the wheels off and blades on to the sand yacht and scoot across a lake ?

 

It's been cold and beautiful for 10 days - BUT NO WIND.

 

Right now there's a breeze and new snow but the thaw is making the ice too dodgy

 

The blades have been in their original packing for 5 years now and I thought

they could finally be used this week.

 

 

First world problems yes... but I need something instead of YouTube to look forward to...

 

 

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Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed off (understatement) with the eFFFFFFFF(ING)French authorities.

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You can apply for nationality. Doesn't mean they will give you it. By a long shot. I have filed about 30 documents over the last 3 years. In duplicata. Including original certificates. With sworn translations. Several times. Meeting tight deadlines. Some were requested and then returned as being superfluous. It has taken hours, days, weeks. And cost hundreds of Euros. Now the Head Honcho dismisses me by saying I persisted in not filing the necessary documents. Steam is still coming out of my ears 12 hours later. I sent him a mail detailing the course of events this last year. Including his personal involvement. Quod est demonstrandum. With copies to other honchos. Wonder what he will make of that.

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DHL, how do I hate thee? 

 

Let me count the ways.

 

  • In the DHL app on my smartphone, an entry appears "Status offen, wir erwarten deine Sendungsdaten in Kürze"
  • Waiting at home for the delivery...
  • I was at home, but you did not ring the bell...
  • You left a card...
  • It's the same number as the entry in the DHL App ("Status offen" and so on)
  • It can be picked up tomorrow afternoon from a Postfiliale...
  • ...when the weather forecast is a virtual monsoon, also the following days...
  • Which Postfiliale is it, the one we usually use? Or one of the many Paketshops round the corner?
  • ...of course not! In the list of DHL collection points close to our address, this location comes in around place 100
  • Several kilometres away, no logic whatsoever...probably an hour round journey to collect
  • ...in the rain...
  •  in the DHL App it still reads "Status offen, wir erwarten deine Sendungsdaten in Kürze"
  • ...and of course no real possibility to enquire or complain.

Thanks a fucking bundle, DHL.

 

You suck.

 

 

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yap yap yap yap yap yap....     FFS just train your fucking dog not to bark at every bird, car or blade of grass that moves in the wind!!!!      Every single fucking day!!  

 

You take the fucking yapster for a 50m walk coz you are either too lazy or too fat!    The little critter needs more than a 50m walk !!   

 

Fuckin selfish....

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Bloody hell, who is whose slave? I have put a sweet pile of lucre in your bank in avoidance of bank charges in foreign countries with which I have no more links and who charge extortionate fees - be warned - and now you want to know where it all came from. I am going to have to schlepp salary slips and bank statements from the last 30 years - thank God I saved them - so you can peruse them at your leisure and work out if a couple of euros cannot be accounted for. My life is too short. My life savings are a drop in the ocean. Why are you chasing (very) small fry? I actually don't want to spend valuable hours of my life discussing this with you ffs. Would you like me to shift it all to another bank? I have told you I have just withdrawn my money from two others and closed the accounts. You wanna be the next one?

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Ok, so a lot of people only use their phones now - they do not type on a proper keyboard .  At least that's what I think is the reason why so many posts on here  are an absolute shambles or very difficult to read. :angry:

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I am in the office today. As I wanted to do a little shopping while I was here, I brought my bigger rucksack with me.

I for got my desk keys. This mean I am having to use the keypad mouse on my laptop.

 

There are in f*cking curses or words in the languages of Elves men or Dwarves to sum up just how f*cking shit and crap this is.

 

On a plus note, I take my hat off the outlook developer that added in the 'do really want to move this email folder to [where you had your finger on the keypad too long]. 

 

 

 

 

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Telekom Magenta TV  - hello? About 6 weeks ago you started demanding a Benutzer PIN in order to watch a film that was for 16 years or older.

 

We have no kids, just myself and my wife, in our late 50s. We need no fucking PIN when we're sitting at home watching a film on our own telly.

 

After being locked out and googling around I worked out that it was a new "service" on Arte to protect children from watching certain films. Wonderful.

 

I finally set up the fucking Benutzer PIN which I didn't want anyway and made a note of it should it ever have the cheek to reappear.

 

So here we are 6 weeks later.

 

"Benutzer PIN eingeben"

 

Falsch.

 

Two more tries (checks and uses noted PIN)

 

Sorry, wait 10 minutes.

 

PISS OFF Benutzer PIN.

 

PISS OFF Magenta TV

 

PISS OFF Arte

 

You are all twats.

 

 

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Arrgggh Telekom AGAIN...

Good show, put the Brexit film on and advertise that its also available in English.

Then let Telekom mince it through their weird system so that 

either it can be seen in German or with audio subtitles for the hard of seeing.

"Dom is putting on his glasses"

 

1) how the hell does a visually impaired person navigate the convoluted menu system to get here anyway ?

2) why can't Telekom set up "secondary sound channel" when they deliver over IP with bandwidth to spare ?

 

Bad enough that ARD / ZDF only ever  transmit with original sound on the second blue moon after Virgintoast.

 

It's enough to make me move to Netprime or whatever its called...

 

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Company starts applying Agile work methods, one week in it is still the same as before. Same but with a different name!

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ANTS!

 

Ants in the kitchen - Don't Panic, Don't Panic!!

Ants in the kitchen.

 

No trail, no ant run, no lump of food behind the cupboards...

Seem to be coming out of the elec wall socket.

 

Where have they breached the concrete walls ???

 

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A special kick in the nuts to the imbecile who wrote the German-language instructions for updating the Volkswagen Navigation system. How do I hate you? The ways are countless. You brainless fuck, try putting the screenshots with the instruction to which they belong. You disorganized imp, try numbering the instructions and not just the photos. You addle-brained, gormless twat, write for the user and not for the expert in the seat next to you.

You are a failure at your job. You are lucky more intelligent people than you have posted corrections to your stupidity all over the internet. That's how bad you are. Regular people write corrections to your bad instructions. Are you a legacy hire?

 

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So lockdown in Kiel is muchly reduced and the sun is shining. This was a signal to all the seagulls (aka shitehawks) that their constipation time is now officially over.

 

They let go en masse over my innocently parked car as if it was target practice Sunday.  

It's roof is now completely white and the lumps on it defy description (just try not to imagine, I know it's breakfast time). 

 

Off to the hand car wash now, then I'll have to put my coat and jeans in the wash as well (Sprayback)

 

 

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Dear "Hubby",

 

Life is fleeting. Do you not think that I can see through your chronic, passive-agressive, low-level, petty behavioural strategy? You want me to want to go... But of the two of us I am the more bloody-minded, am I not? Do you think I will do you this pleasure? I will go in my own time.  If and when I decide it is time. You will not make me want to go. Does it cost you much energy to do these 1000 spiteful things? Do you get pleasure from rebelling in this way? You poor, sad git. Have you really convinced yourself of your own revisionist shit?

 

You are an excellent actor, though a life-time of practice. I pity you because you must have a reason for that. But of the two of us, we both know who has more brain. And who is more vicious if and when provoked. Really, if it comes to divorce, it will cost you a whole lot more than our present, comfy arrangement whereby you pull all the strings. Not to mention the attention it will focus on your sad, bad case.

 

Your little strategy will get you nowhere fast. You are somewhat lacking in imagination.

 

Life is fleeting.

 

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