Untrue (Alternative) facts

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West Virgina was founded at Wheeling on June 11, 1861. The origin of its name is less well known. When the state's first governor Francis Pierpont was asked what they should call the new state he replied "Why not name if after my Wife's Vagina?" Thankfully he had a horrible speech impediment.

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If you nurse a puppy on human mikl, they are more likely to say "I Ruv You" like Astro. downside is, you get hairy nipples.

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The agave farmers of Jalisco, Mexico transport their tequila product to local merchant meets in handmade earthenware jars on the backs of burros; and the farmer's children carry smaller jars on the back of miniature donkeys - the burritos.

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Since the increased popularity and long term use of the birth control pill in the last two decades, estrogen has leaked into the public drinking supply, causing the feminization of frogs and other amphibians. Public health officials have predicted that in 150 years, all born males will become transvestite by the age 20. Although it is hard to predict the social implications, sociologists believe this will decrease the amount of war and create more open ideals of sexuality.

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@beesting --- there is a lot of evidence to suggest that the first part of the first sentence of what you wrote is really true - estogen levels in the South of Ireland in the drinking supply are exploding since the popularisation of the pill. One of the apparent effects has been to cause the onset of puberty in women much earlier. A nastier one is breast cancer...

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When the famous survyors Lewis & Clark finally made their way across the western United States, they travelled through a desert plateau, then crossed an impressive mountain range into a lush green valley. Clark, who was the descendent of German farmers from Rosenheim, and furious after weeks of hefty precipitation which made their surveying quite difficult, shouted into the heaves "O Regen!" and the state of Oregon was born.

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@parnell - I'm a water engineer! I know! Really, the best untruths are based on some truth...ask my President!

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One of the apparent effects has been to cause the onset of puberty in women much earlier. A nastier one is breast cancer...

And men growing breasts...

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@ bee sting -

Apologies on behalf of my stupidity... LOL at Dubya

 

PS: I meant "ignorance" not "stupidity"

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The upside of the oestrogen issue is that women now have bigger baps.

 

(this is purely a professional opinion 'cos I used to own a lingerie business, and is the only reason I sometimes get caught staring at womens cleavages in public).

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And men growing breasts...

While biologists are worried about this unnatural influence on evolution, psychologists generally believe that this is good. After all, men love breasts.

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When you play a country music album backwards your dog recovers, your truck runs again, your wife comes back and you get out of jail.

 

(credit to some unknown-to-me humorist)

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In southern Africa there has been an increase in rape of virgin girls because tribal chieftans said this would cure AIDS.

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The untreated, non-drinking water supplies of citizens living near to the central European Alps have caused hardened, estrogen and lime-enriched water sources to enter local laundry facilities. Frequent tactile transference with these mineral-laden clothing has caused unusual reports of Amphibious Skin Syndrome (ASS); with local populations reporting periodic increased sightings of mysterious "frog people". Data warehouse analysts are also reporting increased sales of adult diapers and beer during these same periods.

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Really, the best untruths are based on some truth...ask my President!

Uh, that statement doesn't fit in this thread (it's all about untruths, remember?) ;)

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In southern Africa there has been an increase in rape of virgin girls because tribal chieftans said this would cure AIDS.

Again... i thought this was supposed to be untruths, not facts BASED on untruths.

 

If you lick a toad, then perform on your lover, they will get the bumpities 'down there'.

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