Untrue (Alternative) facts

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Seaborne Freight has been awarded the contract to build the next nuclear power plant.

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I have started to wear a jock-strap when I go running. I was getting terrible eye injuries.

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I once got arrested for punching a swan,  I thought it was Bjork trying to attack me.

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I think I must be an aromatic comedian, bloke in the pub last night said I smelt funny.

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On 10/02/2019, 22:00:47, Clive2677 said:

I have started to wear a jock-strap when I go running. I was getting terrible eye injuries.

 

Dickhead!

 

:D

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Parrot's feathers are waterproof due to the polyunsaturated fat they get in their food.

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Trump has asked to watch a "soccer" match when he visits the UK in December, so just to make him feel at home ...

 

Dy_OAA1XcAEI9ke.jpg:large

 

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I turned up for a tour of a brewery organised by Chris Grayling.  Unfortunately there isn't any beer so he's had to cancel it.

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Theresa May has admitted she scrapes the mould off the top of her jam ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... and gives it a job in her Cabinet.

 

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzRt7TrXcAEAN6S.jpg:large

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After 16 years, the intelligent robot Mars Opportunity rover has sent it's last message to NASA.

It was, "That Trump, he's a real prick isn't he".

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