Why are you unhappy today?

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Mobbing has suddenly reared its ugly head in my workplace. I'm the target of the week.

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In town today and we bumped into Sue and Nigel, pensioners and permanent residents on Crete! How are you? Long time no see! Corona and stuff.

Then Nigel told us of two friends who have died this year- NOT of corona or with corona. Bloody skin cancer.😟

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First time in 18 years that I am not in Bayreuth for the summer. I am more than sad. 

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You will be next year, dear Tor , and better than ever.🙏🏻👍🏼

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5 hours ago, tor said:

First time in 18 years that I am not in Bayreuth for the summer. I am more than sad. 

 Do you sing at Bayreuth? I'm impressed.

 

I would even be impressed if you "merely" got tickets for Bayreuth every year... ;)

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So we saw loads of tables outside the now finally open tavernas at the square an hour or two. „ Music evening?“

Panagiotas, one of the taverna guys.. „ was supposed to be... cancelled... Giorgos has died.“

Giorgos was 57, cancer of the throat. A friendly guy towards us always, a painter. We didn‘t realise just how loved he is here.

Population of our village: 500

People of all ages dressed in black going to the chapel, coming down the hill, going up the hill, moving to meet and remember: 500.

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The day started alright. Then, when we drove past the rubbish container at the square, we saw an old lady with a plastic bag and wearing gloves lift up the carcass of a cat to throw into the container.

Poisoned? Starved?

😟

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A couple of years ago and after a couple of drinks at our local taverna, my partner Nicole ended up dancing on a table and a local joined in. We all clapped and laughed.

 

The local is around mid- forties, quiet, reclusive. We hadn‘t seen him around for months. We always greeted each other on the street when our paths crossed.

 

Today, we saw a guy in a wheelchair, one leg amputated. We looked at each other and „ der Mann, der auf dem Tisch tanzte?“

 

We were shocked. 

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Well, my best friend died two weeks ago from complications from cancer. It was a five-year illness and I've known the end was coming for months now, so I guess I have already processed my grief about it.

 

In the intervening time, my father, who has been demonstrating erratic behavior for months, e.g., yelling at me in video chats for not supporting Trump and posting Q nonsense to his social media, has been diagnosed with and operated on for a brain tumor.  I am trying to figure out timing for going there, but want to be home with him and my mother, who has put off her hip replacement, when it benefits them the most and I can render the most assistance. In the meantime, I am kicking myself for not insisting that my sisters get him checked out when he started his erratic behavior.

Fuck hindsight, fuck COVID, and fuck cancer.

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7 minutes ago, AlexTr said:

Well, my best friend died two weeks ago from complications from cancer. It was a five-year illness and I've known the end was coming for months now, so I guess I have already processed my grief about it.

 

In the intervening time, my father, who has been demonstrating erratic behavior for months, e.g., yelling at me in video chats for not supporting Trump and posting Q nonsense to his social media, has been diagnosed with and operated on for a brain tumor.  I am trying to figure out timing for going there, but want to be home with him and my mother, who has put off her hip replacement, when it benefits them the most and I can render the most assistance. In the meantime, I am kicking myself for not insisting that my sisters get him checked out when he started his erratic behavior.

Fuck hindsight, fuck COVID, and fuck cancer.

 

Don't blame yourself, there is so much shit going on anyway.

Who wouldn't have blamed erratic behavior on that in the first place?

 

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you and your family all the best.

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*virtually hugs AlexTR*

I always knew your heart is in the right place and that you love friends and family, both the difficult biological and the hopefully easier chosen one. Damned if life, relatives, and diseases don't make everything as hard as conceivably possible!

 

And no, it's NOT your fault your father wasn't diagnosed earlier. Brain tumors are notoriously difficult to diagnose!

Go to the US if you can, take along remote work, and stay in contact with us. Be safe.

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Alex, so sorry to hear of your friend's death. We are never ready,  no matter how much we feel prepared. Take time to grieve and keep the memories in your heart.

 As Metall says, brain tumours really can be tough to identify and diagnose. Often mood changes in the early part can be attributed to ageing, and said parent may refuse to get tested, and often does refuse.  

Understand, we all feel some guilt when parents become ill and we are far away, but know you are not to blame.

You have sisters to share decisions and support, go over when you fee this is the right time.  Your mother sounds a great lady, and hope she gets her hip surgery soon. These days, it is  a procedure that gets folk up and moving fast.

 All good wishes.

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