Interesting spam e-mails received

861 posts in this topic

I didn't actually read this, since a) my account wouldn't let me and B) I didn't think it could live up to the promise of the subject line, but I did recently receive an email with "GREETINGS FROM HAIJA S.CAMILLE WITH PAINS‎". Spent a happy 5 minutes imagining exactly what type of pains these could be.



so the gender of each must be learned separately and by heart.There is no other way. To do this one has to have a memory like amemorandum-book. In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has.Think what overwrought reverence that shows for the turnip, and what callous

I'm impressed - they've made Mark Twain into an author of dirty literature. He's actually talking about the gender of German nouns:


They Awful German Language. It's very funny, and accurate.


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Just got this beauty:



Are you ashamed to visit swimming pools because of your small penis? Forget about your embarrassment with our Penis Enlarge Patch.

How did they know my shame? :o


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Dear Sharpe ,


You were recently appointed as a biographical candidate to represent your industry in the Madison Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals, and for inclusion into the upcoming 2007-2008 "Honors Edition" of the registry.


We are pleased to inform you that on August 27th, your candidacy was approved. Your confirmation for inclusion will be effective within five business days, pending our receipt of the enclosed application.


The Office of the Managing Director appoints individuals based on a candidate's current position, and usually with information obtained from researched executive and professional listings. The director thinks you may make an interesting biographical subject, as individual achievement is what Madison Who's Who is all about. Upon final confirmation you will be listed among thousands of accomplished individuals in the Madison Who's Who Registry. There is no cost to be included.


We do require additional information to complete the selection process and kindly ask that you access this form on our website:


Click here to register


To ensure your biographical data is received in time, please complete the online form above as soon as possible. Our editorial deadline is quickly approaching.




Matthew Johnson

Managing Editor


Madison Who's Who is not associated or affiliated with Marquis Who's Who or any other Who's Who.


Madison Who's Who, Inc. 30-01 Northern Blvd. Long Island City , NY 11101 USA


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Hm, I'm apparently going to be compensated for a transaction I never participated in. Lucky me!



Dear Friend,


How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition.


I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other

best known to you.


But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the fund out of the bank to someone else who was capable of assisting me in this great venture .Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of 250,000.00 Great British Pounds (GBP.


I have authorized the finance house where I deposited my money to issue you international certified bank draft cashable at your bank.


My dear friend I will like you to contact the finance house for the collection of this international certified bank draft.The name and contact address of the Person with your Cheque is as follows.




Dr.Mark Johnero



At the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are having at hand. Finally,remember that I have

forwarded instruction to the finance house on your behalf to send the bank draft to you as soon as you contact them without delay.


Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart.Thanks and God bless you and your family.


Hope to hear from you soon.

Best Regards,

Dr. Mark Johnero

A doctor - well, he MUST be trustworthy!


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This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of f

£1,350,000(One million, three hundred and fifty thousand, pounds sterling) held

on the 24th August, 2007 in Ireland.The selection process was carried out

through random selection in Our computerized email selection system (ess) from a

database of over 250,000 email Addresses drawn from which you were selected.


Contact our fiduciary agent for claims with:


Contact Person: Mr. Kenneth Smith,


Tel +44)-701112 9853


Fill the below:

1. Name: 2. Address 3. Marital Status: 4. Occupation: 5. Age:6. Sex: 7.

Nationality: 8. Country of Residence: 9. Telephone Number:



Sir.kolyn parkins

Online coordinator for THE IRISH LOTTERY


There was I getting all excited until I realised that the name Sir.kolyn parkins has more of a whiff of Lagos about it than Limerick.


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Not the last time I looked, or actually any time. Looks like the Lads from Lagos need to update their schoolbooks.


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Also didn't realise that you use the GB country code, I always thought it was 0035, guess I must be wrong.


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Innocuous enough until the last two, erm, words(?).



Hi gorgeous,


Your friend give me your email cause he says you looking

for a girlfriend. Hope we can out for a dating and we begin from

there ok?


Send me email asap if you got

time at



My bold. Wtf?


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In regard to our online electronic

email draw of September 2007,

the Irish Gaming Board, has attached

your winning email address to refrence number


Be informed that your email address

has subsiquently won you one million,

three hundred and fifty thousand euros...




Dr. Ray .J.

Via email:

Fill in Claims

Name in full: ...


Telephone number:...


Dr. Ray J.? Sounds funky.

Well, they changed the currency (see Post 65), but the phone's been cut off.


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In my mailbox today:

If you are using GPS navigator to find road to your shlong, belive us their is a better way.

Alexandre Gumpot



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Fresh from the oven:

Liu Yan []


I apologize for this intrusion since I do not know if I am writing to my intended recipient. I decided to contact you through email due to the urgency, as my earlier letter was returned undelivered.Anyway I need your co-operation in receiving USD8.6M that has been in a dormant account with my bank for over 3 years now under inheritance claim.

30% of the total sums will be accrued to you upon the confirmation of the funds in your nominated account. Although it may seem small,but you have to understand and accept this since 40% of the total sum will go to charity, as my entitlement here is also 30%. I need your co-operation here because the account holder an Iraqi Chieftain and businessman lost his life during the war and I being his account officer, I have tried to reach any of the next trustees, but to no avail and since I am not in position to make the claim, I can establish you before the bank as the heir to the bequest. It is very important that the claim is made, as the bank will turn the funds over to the treasury anytime from now if it remains unclaimed.

I will provide you with detailed information on the modalities of this operation once I have your interest but I must say that trust flourishes business. Therefore let your conscience towards this proposal be nurtured with sincerity. I don't think I need to spell out the importance of Secrecy in this Matter considering the amount involved. I will bring you up to date with all the information as soon as I hear from you. So, if i don't hear from you within a period of one month I will assume you are not interested and will solicit for a new partner, but if you know you are interested let me know.

Waiting to hear from you.

Thank you.

Liu Yan


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Delete this at your peril

As they offer Bob lost African millions, Russian brides and get-rich-quick scams he responds by generously offering some outlandish schemes of his own. The spammers may have breached his firewall, but they have met their match as Bob Servant rises heroically to the challenge, and sows confusion in his wake.

I think we need Bob on TT, or is he already here...?


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OK, just the title caught my imagination and the sender's name is intriguing - Dutch is it? And now the service offered has really got me thinking - am I sufficiently endowed to satisfy a lady's personal requirements... :unsure:

From: Bradford gjerswold <>

To: "Removed"

Sent: Tuesday, 16 October, 2007 7:05:55 PM

Subject: loontrek

Good day "Removed"

adding 3 inches to my cock sure has helped me out

Bradford gjerswold


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I got a good one yesterday asking "Why be fat and unhappy?" but it turned out they wanted to sell me some diet stuff instead of supporting me in my determination to be happy in spite of being overweight.


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I saw your profile at yahoo members Search Results and i really love to know you!!! if you wish, am looking a long term relationship if it should go in that direction, like must times i do ask my self this :- Obviously you are going to chose a partner that you are physically attracted to. Apart from that aspect, there are a few important areas you should look at. Do they speak very slowly compared to you? Do they understand you when you speak? Can you really talk to them about absolutely anything?.

When you're ready to make that full commitment, you're sometimes left with questions and a nagging sense of self-doubt. Is this the one? Am I making the right choice? Does my potential partner feel the same way? In this guide i hope u attempt to answer these questions and more. The best way to make sure a relationship succeeds is to make sure it's the right one from the start!. Hope am not too hard? well i hope to hear from you again bye for now. I here by paste one of my pix, Am 28 years old and also from US, female that is all i have to give now till u reply i will give more. You can send me email so we get to know each other.



Hai ,

Am Janet

I have the feeling that this piece of mail will reach you in a perfect

state of mind and in a better healthy condition.

I believe and also have the feeling that in todays world, neither

race, nationality nor religion will any longer posse a barrier to

male/female relationships.

Although, we do not know each other well but I will really like to have

you as a friend , life partner or pen pal if that is better for

you.I am a single

lady , I hope to hear from you soon,

and also look forward to receiving some information concerning you,

your family, country and even your personal life experiences. This will

give us the opportunity of knowing each other better and be able to

understand ourselves more. May God bless you as I wait to hear from you soon

through this email address. (

hope you write with love.




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From Tenson J.Garan.

Dear one,

Permit me to introduce my very self to you. In fact I am Tenson J.Garan, a son to late Dr. John Garan who was the director general of cocoa export corporation of Ivory Coast and he was killed by the rebel forces here in my country Ivory Coast during a political war at the same time with the former military president General Robert Guel.

While my father was rushed to the hospital unconsious due to the torture and bullet wounds he quickly sent for me before his untimely death.Meanwhile he told me all about this 7.5 millions US dollars, he deposited here in a bank in Ivory Coast for future investiment on my name as next of kin.

I am now afraiding of my life the safty of this money is not guaranteed in any way,because the political war that brought the untimely death of my beloved father has not yet end. The people who killed my father is in search of me. I ran away to hide somewhere I am not free to move around.

1-Rebels never come in agreement with the existing government .

2-Rebels refused to drop their arms for peace to hold and now the campaign of presidential election, president elect is on couple with the political WAR.

My life and this money is not save if he remain here.This made the Bank director advice me to look for a GOD fearing and honest foreign partner whom this money can be transfered to his account for investment in that country. Please I want you to assist me get this money transfered to your private nominate account in your country and I will like travel with you immediately.You shall look for good investment so that you can invest this money wisely and I will like continue my education and life there with you.There will be legal proof in all about this transaction.

I will give you 10% of the total amount and 5% maped out for expenses.

Please for the interest of this business transaction contact me through this my private mail address immediately you receive this message for more information to enable me proceed towards concluding the arrangement to transfer this money to your account.

God Bless you as you attent to this request in jesus name Amen.

Best regard's,

Tenson John Garan.

I am now afraiding of my life the veracity of this email is not guaranteed in any way.


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"S. Casey - IRG" <> to me

show details Oct 15 (2 days ago)

Images are not displayed. Display images below

Okay, I'm totally NUTS for doing this right now, so pleaselet me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is Shawn Casey, and I'm a millionaire that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning, and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away an in-depth Internet "Business-In-A-Box" to 250 people today. I should be selling this for $497, but...I'm flat out giving it away. Your cost is zero... zip... zilch!

Press here before you become the 251st person

You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you'll have this awesome $497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...

Why am I giving this away?

I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I''ve decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I can help people finally get the truth!

See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000 customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right way.

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...

Now, I'm giving away my $497 Internet Business-In-A-Box so you can get the inside secrets about how to make your own Internet fortune.

But you must grab this right now because I'm only promising to do this for the next 250 people that visit this site.

Press here before you become the 251st person

Thank you so much for your time!



Mining Gold Corporation

20533 Biscayne Boulevard, No. 484

Aventura, FL 33180


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I don't know if this was posted already is getting surreal:


Crash,! B,oom! B.a-n'g.!

C.W.*T.E h-a+s t+h-e p*otentia'l to retur,n 5.0,0 % to y_o*u+r mone+y wi.thin 7 tr ading d a_y.s_.

H_o+t n*e,w+s rel ease'd tod_ay! C+heck t,h.i_s o-u_t-.

omjoi, c+a*l'l ur br.oker N*O W,.


What should I do exactly? what should I enlarge, buy, transfer?


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