Interesting spam e-mails received

792 posts in this topic

I liked that recent one that started "One chin is enough - lose the others" but this is my current favourite from a nice chap called Pampel Stefan.

 

 

Subject: Why your one-eye so small?

 

hello Dude

 

I don't care why your ramrod is so small,

but 75% of women do. They are pretty sure

that bigger sausage will make their

desire stronger.

 

You have the chance to change your life.

 

Here XXXXXXXXXXX you can get it.

 

It will help you for sure. The remedy can be sent worldwide.

If you wont be satisfied - we will return all you money.

No bullshit.

 

--

wgbfdkjghskjnsxnwftttf plthuiuuugtlslululustnujtptouqujntrhrsnssgrt

 

and some charlatan had given him a fright, he had better have some tests done.

The professor scribbled on some sheets of paper, explaining where Andrei Fokich was to go and what he should take with him. He also gave him a note to a colleague, Professor Burye, the neuropathologist, saying that his nerves, at any rate, were in a shocking condition.

'How much should I pay you, professor? ' asked the barman in a trembling voice, pulling out a fat notecase. ' As much as you like,' replied the professor drily. Andrei Fokich pulled out thirty roubles and put them on the table, then furtively, as though his hands were cat's paws, put a round,

Is Pampel registered on this forum perhaps?

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ok, thats just scary!!!

 

I just got this, from Blagojevic Vladimir!!!

 

 

hello Chap

 

I don't care why your ramrod is so small, but 84% of women do. They are pretty sure that bigger sausage will make their desire stronger.

 

You have the chance to change your life.

 

Here xxxxxxx you can get it.

 

It will help you for sure. The remedy can be sent worldwide.

If you wont be satisfied - we will return all you money.

No bullshit.

 

--

rkfdgfdglkdfjgsekjwe iflrlslfmtlihhlululimrkgmflgmkmrmnmqmmmllpikmumhmi

 

you! '

The dubious professor put on a haughty look, turned and walked away from Ivan, who felt himself beginning to lose his head. Gasping, he turned to the choirmaster :

'Hey, you, help me arrest this criminal! It's your duty! '

The choirmaster leaped eagerly to his feet and bawled :

'What criminal? Where is he? A foreign criminal? ' His eyes lit up joyfully. ' That man? If he's a criminal the first thing to do is to shout "

Stop thief! " Otherwise he'll get away. Come on, let's shout together! ' And the choirmaster opened his mouth wide.

Obviously the increase in % of women that are upset is cause my wang is lacking in man würst compared to yours.

 

It also got me to thinking how the only books I tend to read nowadays are stuck at the bottom of spam emails. :( I just dont have the time any other way.

 

EDIT: The book is The Master and Margarita by Mikhail bulgakov

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I also have a nice one:

 

 

Jessamine dos dry forestaller Stetson seesaws ripe marsupial

 

Bambie fillets hurt sanctimony Boycie infects rotten skewing

Armada gleams adorable remorse Anton shortens fuzzy cube

 

your ID: bQQNBxEUHl0HEBoQOB0ZCB0IChDt7vbq8uCo4-31ub66ufK4oqDuoqXpp6esr62jr6qpr7R9

 

Euphrates yelps awful bobsledding Elisha trades quaint transferrer

Anton fowls soft teeth Audy kinks concerned minutia

Allx unsteadys concerned verruca Nancey apprentices puzzled occurrence

Nancey deodorizes doubtful basset Hopewell envisions ppearance perfunctoriness

Tarzan tabbys annoyed making Scranton sighs perfect dam

Delcina overclassifys noisy referent Mitchael besmirchs hungry sharpshooter

Noreen whisks dangerous partiality Noreen treks panicky tycoon

Tarzan outhustles zany birdie Stetson dilly-dallys tall lousewort

 

Analise indoctrinates ancient nativeness Powhatan defibrillates quaint caryatid

Corfu recombs chubby mode Liliane overagitates wet specie

Liliane granulates eager mop Aden outjockeys tasty ditch

I would be greatful to have it translated.

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So 9% of women are more concerned about your Weisswurst being so small relative to mine. I reckon that makes it official that IW has a smaller knob than me (which I must say is quite an achievement).

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VfAGRA from $3. 30 and other goods.

 

http://www.xaseruijintunhfeungandesuikin.com

 

received bottom marks. He didnt care, though; he was too busy screwing

up his courage for what he was about to do. When the bell rang, he

grabbed his bag, and hurried to the dungeon door.

well you guys are lucky. its only small. mine is flacid. i get this one regularly. i've repplied back that it cant be true it was only once and i was drunk. they never reply.

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Things are looking up. I get a choice now between a brunette with big tits and a long-legged blonde. Do you think if I buy two patches I get two chances to select?

 

 

Your wife complains to headache each evening?

Your girlfriend says about "pressing business" too frequently? Girls on beach don`t pay any attention?

 

CHANGE IT!

 

Change half millimeter thickness of your wallet to additional inches of your tiger cub! Find "Pe~nis Growth Patch " on our site and stop think about "small size". From this point you will have

one issue - select between brunette with nice tits and long-legged blonde!

 

Deeper, longer and more strongly!

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Things are looking up. I get a choice now between a brunette with big tits and a long-legged blonde. Do you think if I buy two patches I get two chances to select?

Well, Ahmed Bowman, informs me that using this product you dont need to choose between them and could take them both with your increased libido!

 

 

Finally the real thing - no more ripoffs!

P.E.P. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx are hot right now, VERY hot! Well this is the real thing, not an imitation!

One of the very originals, the absolutely unique product is available, anywhere!

 

Read what people say about this product:

 

"I love how fast your product worked on my boyfriend, he can't stop talking about how excited he is with his new girth, length, and libido!"

 

Amelia B., Boston

 

"At first I thought the free sample package I received was some kind of joke… until I actually tried using the P.E.P. Words cannot describe how pleased I am with the results from using the patch for 8 short weeks. I'll be ordering on a regular basis from now on!"

 

Mikkey Fox, Chicago

 

Read more testimonals about this marveouls product here!

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I also like the way that the Penis Patch has a little TRADEMARKED logo attached. This makes me feel much better as I was getting just slightly worried that I might not be dealing with a 100% legitimate medical reseller. But now that I can see the logo I shall hand over my credit card details immediately.

 

I have decided not to be greedy and will just flip a coin to select whether the blonde or brunette gets to play with my tiger cub.

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Never heard it called that before.

I have.

That's what Father McQuinty calls it down the local priory, just before he gives me a mars bar and a can of coke as reward.

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The Email's not that funny but the subject is:

 

"Penetrate your partner for hours on end"

 

 

In a poll conducted by Durex Condoms, 67% of women said they were unhappy with their lover's penis size."

 

You now have a truly amazing option for intense and effective penis enlargement: The Penis Enlarge Patch

 

Drastically enlarge the penis length and width to sizes previously thought impossible!

 

Gain incredible girth and mind-blowing length in just a few weeks time!

 

http://www.bibisik.com/?34&I7de

Anyone need the patch?

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I assume the coke also helps to wash away the taste?

No bad taste, just can't sit for a week.

Father says it's good to be penitent every now and then though.

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Just got these two really rather random poetry spam-mails. No attachments to either. Very strange:

 

This was from "Beileag Arrowood" addressed to "Sigiswald Marston" (although obviously that isn't my name):

 

synthesizer effects would burst forth from the loudspeakers in full

 

Re: my costumie

like a wall that appeared to cut the city in two. There were no walls

that we are about to solve. Remember the ancient explosive that blew

sight.

This is the plan, Admiral Steengo said. I will monitor this

The imaged clouds blew by and a massive five-sided building appeared

tachyons-or we reach the north pole and freeze to death.

No talk. Drop.

I had no idea.

Of course. I have the requisite authority to provide augmentive

Itchy foot, itchy foot, itchy foot itch!

To those of us who werent bashed about by the red peril.

The other from "Ace Aburto" to "Rebekah Colorado" (how many times, Lassie is a bloke, not a bird!!):

 

have lasted about a subjective hour. Then he kept on turning and space that the city is on both sides of the wall. So the women-if I am beginning to find out that there are levels of secrecy and walking, moving. Off-balance, hands raised, mouths gaping. Now weird historical-scientific evidence. Only Madonette had the brains to While ignoring the eternal war without end. The conflict of duality throbbing, our brains numbed and throbbing as well. Who wants me? I asked suspiciously through a mouthful of sweet prosper by utilizing their energy in a more positive manner. It was a very vague. Until you showed up! If I were capable of gratitude
Anyone have any idea what type of scam this is? I am completely lost!
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just fuck and don't think it's too hard for her

even after you fuck her 5 times you will need to jerk a bit more

http://???.net

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Stock trading tips spam:

 

his contention is unsound. For statements and opinions are said to intermediate in the case of which the said necessity does not reference to that to which the particular positive is natural. We no such necessity obtains, we find an intermediate. Blackness and

the subject. We proved, moreover, that those contraries have an winged creature as being such because of its wings. substance itself that a substance is said to be capable of admitting substance than another, for it has already been stated that this is

another in degree; the square is no more a circle than the complexion of skin. For the same disposition of bodily elements, which Whereas none of the characteristics I have mentioned are peculiar to master, the slave is not a slave. Similarly, if the attribute winged

subject, by stating the species than by stating the genus.

 

Hmmmm

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GOOD DAY,

 

MY NAME IS MR KEVIN MC GRATH., I AM AN ARTIST BASED IN LONDON (UNITED KINGDOM) COMING FROM A MODEST BACKGROUND, AND I EMPHASIZE SIMPLE PLEASURES AND INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES THROUGH MY PAINTINGS. AS A DEVOTED CHRISTIAN, I USE MY GIFT AS A VEHICLE TO COMMUNICATE AND SPREAD INHERENT LIFE-FIRMING VALUES.

 

I HAVE RECENTLY ADDED DESIGNING AND CREATING ARTWORK ON THE COMPUTER, I HAVE BEEN SELLING MY ART FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS AND HAVE HAD MY WORK FEATURED ON TRADING CARDS, PRINTS AND IN MAGAZINES, I HAVE SOLD IN GALLERIES AND TO PRIVATE COLLECTORS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD. I AM ALWAYS FACING SERIOUS DIFFICULTIES WHEN IT COMES TO SELLING MY ART WORKS TO AMERICANS; THEY ARE ALWAYS OFFERING TO PAY WITH MONEY ORDER OR CASHIERS CHECKS, WHICH IS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO CASH HERE IN LONDON UNITED KINGDOM.

 

I AM LOOKING FOR A REPRESENTATIVE IN THE STATES WHO WILL BE WORKING FOR ME AS A PART-TIME WORKER AND I WILL BE WILLING TO PAY 15% FOR EVERY TRANSACTION, WHICH WOULDN'T AFFECT YOUR PRESENT STATE OF WORK, SOMEONE WHO WOULD HELP ME RECIEVE PAYMENTS FROM MY CUSTOMERS IN THE STATES.

 

I MEAN SOMEONE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE AND RELIABLE, BECAUSE THE COST OF COMING TO THE STATE AND GETTING PAYMENTS IS VERY EXPENSIVE, WE ARE WORKING ON SETTING UP A BRANCH IN THE STATE, AND SO FOR NOW I NEED A REPRESENTATIVE IN THE UNITED STATE WHO WILL BE HANDLING THE PAYMENT ASPECT FOR OUR MPANY.

 

THESE PAYMENTS ARE IN MONEY ORDER OR CASHIERS CHECKS AND THEY WOULD COME TO YOU IN YOUR NAME IF YOU WERE WILLING TO ASSIST AS A PRESENTATIVE SO ALL YOU NEED DO IS CASH THE MONEY ORDERS/CASHIERS CHECKS DEDUCT YOUR PERCENTAGE 15% AND WESTERN UNION CHARGES THEN WIRE THE REST BACK.BUT THE PROBLEM I HAVE IS TRUST, BUT I HAVE MY WAY OF GETTING ANYONE THAT GETS AWAY WITH OUR MONEY, YOU ARE TO RECEIVE PAYMENTS WHICH WILL BE SENT TO YOU BY FEDEX OR UPS FROM MY BUSINESS PARTNERS, WHICH WOULD COME IN FORM OF A MONEY ORDER THEN U ARE TO CASH IT AND SEND THE CASH TO ME VIA WESTERN UNION. NOTE: ALL CHARGES WILL BE DEDUCTED FROM THE MONEY SO YOU ARE REST ASSURED THAT YOU WOULDN'T SEND A DIME OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL MONEY.

 

L I NEED FROM YOU NOW TO START UP THIS IS YOUR TRUST AND FIVE DETAILS AS STATED BELOW,

 

(1) YOUR FULL NAME THAT THE MONEY ORDER/CASHIERS CHECK WILL BE ISSUED:

 

(2) YOUR ADDRESS WHERE MY CUSTOMERS WILL SEND THE MONEY ORDER/CASHIERS CHECK TO FOR YOU TO GO AND CASH:

 

(3) YOUR CELL OR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER FOR EASY COMMUNICATION:

 

(4). COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:

 

(5). YOUR AGE & OCCUPATION:

 

I WAIT FOR YOUR FAVORABLE RESPONSES; YOU CAN ALSO GET TO ME ON MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS :(KEVIN_MCGRATH147@YAHOO.ES).

 

MR KEVIN MC GRATH.

HOWARD STREET LIVERPOOL,

L701NL, ENGLAND, UNITED KINGDOM

TEL+:44-7024081659.

Nice that is is all in Capitals too!

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