Choosing a surname for your baby

[boomtown_rat 629]

 

what matters is my name is on all of their birth certs

why does that matter though really? I can understand wanting to keep ones own surname for reasons of identity - but is continuation of a family name really that important?

[gideon 137]

is it realy that important? your identity is you anyway, whatever the name. but if you made ana greement it should be stuck to. be careful with the double barrel names. they can sound like a new type of disease sometimes.

[Freiheit 7]

Nat, are your parents still living to give their input? If they're anything like most soon-to-be grandparents, you won't have to ask for their opinion on anything.

 

Just seems that their thoughts are more important than ours!

[space 235]

It´s a marriage. The wife and the children take the surname of the husband.

Anything else and its not really a marriage. One has to take all of the requirements and not just the ones you like.

Take care,

space

[DDBug 1,665]

What sort of crap is that? It's the 21st century, even German law has gone beyond that. It does help if everyone has the same last name, but why on earth does it have to be the male's???

[Rebecca 880]

anything else and it's is not really a marriage

 

May I nominate that for the dumbest post of the week.

 

I kept my name when I married because I too at 35 had no desire to take a new one. The kids have my husbands name, that way it is clear he is their father.

 

My eldest is 7 and so far it has caused no problems.

[Hutcho 2,227]

I think he has a bit of a point.. if you want to get into the traditional institution that is marriage then take on your husbands name.

 

Personally, I think its unreasonable for the girls to be expected to take on the husbands name, I wouldn't want to change my name either. In the same respect, I also don't see the point in marriage. If you want to keep your name cut all of the other crap out and just don't get married.

[garlof 0]

 

...To use a name that does not fit into German rules you will have to have a note from your consulate saying it is acceptable in your home country.

 

Does anyone have experience with the UK consulate on this issue?

 

We where also mildly surprised that this rule exists for children's surnames and would like if possible that any future children have the name that we choose.

[chloe 1]

 

Double names are not allowed here for children.

Unless the "Familienname" is a double name to start with, e.g. Stefan Müller-Schmidt marries Jane Doe, who changes her surname to Müller-Schmidt. The kids will then have the surname Müller-Schmidt as well.

[Panama 26]

We (in Latin America) usually take both. As a result you end up having a mile-long name (first name, middle name, father's surname, mother's surname), but that's the way they do it.

[DDBug 1,665]

That's how I solved it. Kiddos have first name (for themselves), middle name (after a relative), my surname as third "first" name and then Mr.Bugs surname.

Course, his first name is the same as my (maiden) name, which I kept and tacked his onto (without a hyphen).

So whenever I find an old credit card with my name on it (but not his) it's not a problem to use it since I consider both names to be equally valid. (I didn't lose a name, I gained one). I let people at work choose which name they wanted to call me, and the one they chose (to my face at least ) was my "maiden" name.

[OhFFS 3]

 

The wife and the children take the surname of the husband

Oh. My. God.

 

Did you land on your head in one of those jumps?

 

There can be practical as well as emotional reasons not to take on the partner's surname (whether you are a man or a woman). The soon (for a suitably randomly selected value of soon) to be Mrs. FFS will almost certainly keep her current surname as she has scientific publications and citations under that name, for example. And I'm not going to take hers in case someone mistakes me for a German! Any kids would only be sold as slave labour to some sports clothing manufacturer so are irrelevant.

[space 235]

"Civil Union"

"Registered Partnership"

"Domestic Partnership"

"Reciprocal Beneficiaries Relationship,"

 

These are examples of phrases that one can use when the union is not in the traditional sense of marriage. Marriage is marriage. Changing the traditions and institutions of it causes it to be something else.

Take care,

space

[Purple Muffin 265]

 

I hate to break it to you, but children aren't allowed to take both parent's name in Germany, it's one or the other. Either of you, as spouses, can have a double-barrelled name, but you can't pass it onto your child.

I am not sure this is true as many of my Spanish friends' children have both names as is tradition in Spain.

 

 

We (in Latin America) usually take both. As a result you end up having a mile-long name (first name, middle name, father's surname, mother's surname), but that's the way they do it.

[hams 1,387]

Our son has [first name] [my surname] [father's surname] - I chose not to change my surname on marriage because it is essential to my identity, and to be honest I wouldn't feel comfortable taking my husband's German surname.

 

It also helps that my surname can be a male first name...

Don't know what we're going to do if we have more children though.

[Keydeck 9,248]

Also Hams, given that your husband's surname is Andwich it'd just cause too many sniggers.

[andrea 19]

 

These are examples of phrases that one can use when the union is not in the traditional sense of marriage. Marriage is marriage. Changing the traditions and institutions of it causes it to be something else.

But in some Countries it isn't tradition anyway to change your name.

[sazzy_in_munchen 0]

 

I would keep both names for the baby, it is important to you. As I tell my husband, what makes me happy makes you happy in the long run. The only thing with using two names is the length. I use both names and my last name is 9 letters--12 letters so after awhile I am pretty sick of signing both

 

I also agree with this, i think you should sit down and talk to your husband about it, and explain to him why it is so important for you to keep your fathers name alive, you could agree that the baby will have both names, you can put the fathers name first and yours last, because probably alot of people wont use both, then at least you both still get your names in, which really i think is only fair.

 

Good luck with the baby, hope he/she comes soon :D

[Keydeck 9,248]

It's not just the length. Many people with double-barrel names sound like pretentious fucktards.

[Yeti 276]

Please, that would be Joshua Pretentious-Fucktard, III