Posted 2 March Hi, a serious issue has come up, i don´t know where to find help so no wise cracks please. My son is attending Berlin university and shares a small flat with another student. Rooms are really hard to find and the frat house is full. My sons flat mate is a narcassistic bully and my son´s mental health is being seriously affected. The flat mate comes from a very wealthy family whereas my son earns his money. My son was in the flat before the other student. Bullying includes bursting into my sons room, constantly having a go, kicking doors down, throwing tantrums when he can´t get his own way. At the moment my son is taking refuge in the gym, with friends, anywhere but at his home. He is doing his masters degree and needs to study. He also needs to sleep without having his flat mate burst into his room. The flat mate spends most of his time playing computer games and constantly failing exams etc. Daddy pays all. My son was warned that this lad acts like a spoilt brat but gave him a chance because that is the way i brought him up. Question. Is there anywhere my son can get any help? My son has tried talking to him and recieved verbal abuse. Writing a short letter but the flat mate replied that he was the victim because he was tired etc. My fear is that the next kick won´t be a door but my sons head, 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March A few ways to go here. Either go to the student board, complain and then get his head kicked in or be the one doing the kicking and then get the guys „daddy“ on his neck, because little lord Farqhuard can never be in the wrong. Sucks big time so sign up for boxing classes and let the guy know. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March Ive suggested maybe a student councellor. I know there is one for guidance with studies and this lads behaviour is affecting my sons studies. my son is reluctant to go moaning to someone. In fact it taken several months before he admitted to me that he has a problem that he can´t handle Apparently the father is very pleasant. However telling a child, NO, now and then is a good thing. Thank you for advice, I´ll suggest a student board. We are hoping that my son gets to do another semester in Spain. It will give him a break 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March Look for a new flat. Maybe sublet until the end of the semester. The only person that might have influence with the roommate is the one who holds the purse strings, i.e. the father or probably the parents. However, if they have not disciplined their child until they are at college, it's a bit late to start now. Unless your son has 50 pounds of muscle on the other guy, I suggest you help him move out as quickly as possible. I don't think a counsellor would have a lot of influence. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March If Daddy has money, can't you ask him to spend a bit of it on a more expensive, hard to find apartment for his son so that your son can look for a new roomie who is a better fit? 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March If I could get hold of daddy I'd have a lot more to say. I have asked my son why his bully doesn't live at home because his parents are fairly local. I suspect that they want their son to grow up and my son gave him a chance. ive told my son to keep notes about every incident, which are now daily and to record his outbursts. I suspect that this lad is purposely pushing until breaking point. I know what the result will be and I know that the bully will end up being the victim. I'm trying to avoid this 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 1 hour ago, maxie said: Look for a new flat. Maybe sublet until the end of the semester. The only person that might have influence with the roommate is the one who holds the purse strings, i.e. the father or probably the parents. However, if they have not disciplined their child until they are at college, it's a bit late to start now. Unless your son has 50 pounds of muscle on the other guy, I suggest you help him move out as quickly as possible. I don't think a counsellor would have a lot of influence. My son is flat hunting as we speak. He can easily sublet but the bully has a well known reputation. My lad isn't given to violence but if he's pushed too far he will land a punch. The bully likes to poke my son while ranting. I seriously question his mental capacity. I suspect that he's addicted to video games and can no longer relate to real life. Or he's just a spoilt brat 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 1 hour ago, maxie said: Look for a new flat. Maybe sublet until the end of the semester. Does anyone know where we can find affordable student accommodation, mid term 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 6 hours ago, slammer said: Either go to the student board, complain and then get his head kicked in or be the one doing the kicking and then get the guys „daddy“ on his neck, because little lord Farqhuard can never be in the wrong. Send in Phil. Ha. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 1 hour ago, snowingagain said: Send in Phil. Ha. That actually looks like a guy I once knew. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 2 minutes ago, slammer said: That actually looks like a guy I once knew. Good I guess if you need a thug. Philantropy with fists, baseball bats instead of dosh. Philip is a great name. Ha. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 1 minute ago, slammer said: That actually looks like a guy I once knew. My gut feeling? I don't know him or the circumstances. If he was protecting his child from a paedoohike- ok. Otherwise, not sure I''d like to meet him on a dark night in the street-,even if he were sober... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March We have found out that daddy's little darling was in this situation before my son lived with him. The other flat mate left without subletting his room because of bullying and daddy had to sort out the mess. My son has exams soon but he will just leave ASAP. He already knows that no one wants his room. My son will then have a chat with the father. We just need to find an affordable room. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 9 minutes ago, john g. said: My gut feeling? I don't know him or the circumstances. If he was protecting his child from a paedoohike- ok. Otherwise, not sure I''d like to meet him on a dark night in the street-,even if he were sober... Think we are drifting off topic here a bit, darling. But, of course, need to be cafeful about who you are accusing. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 March 3 minutes ago, snowingagain said: Think we are drifting off topic here a bit, darling. But, of course, need to be cafeful about who you are accusing. I blame slammer😂 But, humbly, I lie corrected ( at my age I don't stand anymore!!)👍😂 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 3 March 14 hours ago, Henribear said: We just need to find an affordable room. Maybe airbnb? If it is short term. Just until he finds a proper room 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 3 March 15 hours ago, john g. said: I blame slammer😂 Oh, join the queue, you´ll love it there. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 3 March 20 hours ago, Henribear said: If I could get hold of daddy I'd have a lot more to say. I have asked my son why his bully doesn't live at home because his parents are fairly local. I suspect that they want their son to grow up and my son gave him a chance. ive told my son to keep notes about every incident, which are now daily and to record his outbursts. I suspect that this lad is purposely pushing until breaking point. I know what the result will be and I know that the bully will end up being the victim. I'm trying to avoid this Maybe the parents don't enjoy having him at home either. If the bully is showing violent behaviour like kicking in doors and your son fears for his safety, he could go to court and get a TPO (temporary protection order or annäherungsverbot). One of my neighbours got this against another for seemingly small reasons like being verbally agressive, ringing her door bell at night and leaving a haribo mouse on her door step. She claimed to fear for her life. The court deemed this serious enough to issue the TPO immediately without hearing the other side. In a WG, it would cause the bully to have to move out. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 5 March It might be a good idea to have evidence documented. You're allowed to have noise and camera recording in your own room. Also, according to this recent court ruling maybe even record conversations secretly if you have no other way to provide evidence: https://mobil.kostenlose-urteile.de/LG-Karlsruhe_16-Qs-9822_Keine-Strafbarkeit-wegen-Verletzung-der-Vertraulichkeit-des-Wortes-bei-Audioaufnahme-aufgrund-Beweisnot.news32671.htm 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 5 March On 2.3.2023, 11:27:16, Henribear said: Hi, a serious issue has come up, i don´t know where to find help so no wise cracks please. My son is attending Berlin university and shares a small flat with another student. Rooms are really hard to find and the frat house is full. My sons flat mate is a narcassistic bully and my son´s mental health is being seriously affected. The flat mate comes from a very wealthy family whereas my son earns his money. My son was in the flat before the other student. Bullying includes bursting into my sons room, constantly having a go, kicking doors down, throwing tantrums when he can´t get his own way. At the moment my son is taking refuge in the gym, with friends, anywhere but at his home. He is doing his masters degree and needs to study. He also needs to sleep without having his flat mate burst into his room. The flat mate spends most of his time playing computer games and constantly failing exams etc. Daddy pays all. My son was warned that this lad acts like a spoilt brat but gave him a chance because that is the way i brought him up. Question. Is there anywhere my son can get any help? My son has tried talking to him and recieved verbal abuse. Writing a short letter but the flat mate replied that he was the victim because he was tired etc. My fear is that the next kick won´t be a door but my sons head, I'm sorry to hear your son is suffering so much. He needs to get out of that flat ASAP. My brother had a similar situation but the person owned the flat. Your son is spending alot of time at the gym to get away from the toxic situation in the flat. He should speak to the university and the professors. I am certain they will be able to support him and possibly help him. I wish you strength. What an awful situation to be in. Maybe mention the behaviour to the university too. The other student needs to be accessed. Your son needs to be removed from this situation. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
