The " where are you really from " thread!!

[john g. 37,685]

There was a spot of bother the other day about a Lady in Waiting and a Black guest. 
Here are some people in London being asked where they are from and where they are really from.

None of them were insulted.

I wiuldn't be, either. Would you?

[Krieg 14,924]

That video is a total failure, she mostly asked FOREIGNERS.  Of course if you ask me where I am really from I will tell you my country.  Even if I would become German I would still "really" come from my same country.   But if you ask my son, who is German and born in Berlin "Where are you really from" he would keep answering Germany, Berlin, and so on.  To the point that you will irritate him if you continue asking the same thing.   He does not come from my country and he does not come from my wife's country.   

[MikeMelga 7,241]

TBH this doesn't personally bother me. Bothers me everytime they naively ask me if "you people still do the daily siesta" when in Germany

 

[john g. 37,685]

1 minute ago, MikeMelga said:

TBH this doesn't personally bother me. Bothers me everytime they naively ask me if "you people still do the daily siesta" when in Germany

 

I was once asked in Argentina if I was gay. Why? Because I had told him I was English! 😂

[john g. 37,685]

11 minutes ago, Krieg said:

That video is a total failure, she mostly asked FOREIGNERS.  Of course if you ask me where I am really from I will tell you my country.  Even if I would become German I would still "really" come from my same country.   But if you ask my son, who is German and born in Berlin "Where are you really from" he would keep answering Germany, Berlin, and so on.  To the point that you will irritate him if you continue asking the same thing.   He does not come from my country and he does not come from my wife's country.   

Do yiou think the interviewer knew what nationality. the people were? She asked random passers-by. And it was in London!

[Krieg 14,924]

18 minutes ago, john g. said:

Do yiou think the interviewer knew what nationality. the people were? She asked random passers-by. And it was in London!

 

Of course no, but she failed to work on the intention of the video.   Once the people answered somewhere that is outside of the UK those people were not the correct target.  The one or two who might be the correct target replied immediately with their family background because she asked directly where are you really from.   That's not the drama that happened with the Lady in question, she first asked where are you from, the (black) person replied London (or wherever in the UK) and THEN she asked several times where are you REALLY from, implying she couldn't be from London because of her looks, or she is not a real Londoner, or whatever other silly intention people can correctly or wrongly read with that silly question.

[Tap 8,460]

My daughter has a friend who is black.  She was born in Germany, as were her parents.  She is constantly asked where she’s “really” from, and it does upset her.  It gives her a sense that she either doesn’t “really” belong here, or that she should be grateful to be here.  My daughter, on the other hand, seldom gets asked because she’s white and blends in.

 

We need to be a little more cognisant of who we’re talking to.  I’m often asked where I’m from because I don’t sound German, but with pale skin, the chances are I’m from another northern European country.  She, on the other hand, is being asked because of her skin colour, and that is different. 

[tor 16,877]

1 hour ago, john g. said:

 

I wiuldn't be, either. Would you?

 

You aren't really the target audience...

 

 

[john g. 37,685]

7 minutes ago, tor said:

 

You aren't really the target audience...

 

 

Not currently but have often been so in other countries. 😂

It is the intention that counts- if simply out of curiosity - what is there to worry about? But if meant in a derogative way, that is different.

[Krieg 14,924]

11 minutes ago, john g. said:

Not currently but have often been so in other countries. 😂

 

No wonder, you just do not get it.  Or were you born in "other countries" and your own country mates did not fully accept you because of your looks?

 

Quote

It is the intention that counts- if simply out of curiosity - what is there to worry about? But if meant in a derogative way, that is different.

 

 

Even if it is curiosity you have to ask in the correct way, curiosity is no excuse to ask offensive questions.   

 

For example if you ask a white person:

 

- Where are you from?

- Germany

 

The conversation ends there.   If the person is black, or Asian looking or whatever and you are intrigued about their background you do not ask where they REALLY come from , because that's offensive.  You might do better with:

 

- Where are you from?

- Germany

- Did your parents or grandparents move to Germany?  Were are they from?

 

But even that is still kind of impolite if it is someone you just got to know.   If the person tell you he/she comes from Germany then he/she comes from Germany.

[Dembo 493]

I would ask what she means by "from". And if she asked where I was really from I'd ask he what she means by "really from".

[john g. 37,685]

53 minutes ago, Krieg said:

 

No wonder, you just do not get it.  Or were you born in "other countries" and your own country mates did not fully accept you because of your looks?

 

 

 

Even if it is curiosity you have to ask in the correct way, curiosity is no excuse to ask offensive questions.   

 

For example if you ask a white person:

 

- Where are you from?

- Germany

 

The conversation ends there.   If the person is black, or Asian looking or whatever and you are intrigued about their background you do not ask where they REALLY come from , because that's offensive.  You might do better with:

 

- Where are you from?

- Germany

- Did your parents or grandparents move to Germany?  Were are they from?

 

But even that is still kind of impolite if it is someone you just got to know.   If the person tell you he/she comes from Germany then he/she comes from Germany.

 Personally, I think someone who disbelieved me if I tokd them where I was from must be pretty ignorant. Unless they were trying to be deliberately nasty, I would shrug it off and put it down to sheer ignorance.

 

And, yes, by the way, I have on many occasions in life beien physically attacked , abused, surrounded by groups of hostile people in different parts of the world just for being either white, English specifically or a " foreigner " without specific information about me.

Their karma to deal with.

[warsteiner70 280]

41 minutes ago, john g. said:

And, yes, by the way, I have on many occasions in life been physically attacked , abused, surrounded by groups of hostile people in different parts of the world just for being either white, English specifically or a " foreigner " without specific information about me.

Their karma to deal with.

 

I think that is probably more to do with something you said as you seem to be quite a vocal person with an opinion about most things and struggle to understand people who have a different opinion.

[Krieg 14,924]

44 minutes ago, john g. said:

 Personally, I think someone who disbelieved me if I tokd them where I was from must be pretty ignorant. Unless they were trying to be deliberately nasty, I would shrug it off and put it down to sheer ignorance.

 

And, yes, by the way, I have on many occasions in life beien physically attacked , abused, surrounded by groups of hostile people in different parts of the world just for being either white, English specifically or a " foreigner " without specific information about me.

Their karma to deal with.

 

Totally different situation.   You still do not get it.

 

No one will doubt you are English since you are white.    You are not the target for the problem discussed in the "Where are you REALLY from" situations.

 

How can that be difficult to understand?   And if a person is from X place then the person is REALLY from X place, it does not matter how the person looks.   Not so difficult to understand either.

[HH_Sailor 3,532]

I came to live in Hamburg early 1990s.

Work colleagues as well as customers often asked me from whence I came. That didn't bother me...I answered 'from Manchester '

 

But a minority did push it with a follow up:

'No, before that. Where do you really come from? Greece? Turkey?

That irked.

(Implied : you're lying, you're hiding something, you're a foreigner from far away)

As if that's an issue

 

 

Never happened to me before in the UK.

Because I have black hair?

[john g. 37,685]

8 minutes ago, warsteiner70 said:

 

I think that is probably more to do with something you said as you seem to be quite a vocal person with an opinion about most things and struggle to understand people who have a different opinion.

Well, you've got me smiling here😂

I'm, erm, chatty and inquisitive by nature...but I assure you the times I have been a victim of violence and other nastjiness, I was just in the wrong place and/or because some people- everywhere in the world - are vicious and abusive of their power and have some serious karma to deal with.

[john g. 37,685]

7 minutes ago, Krieg said:

 

Totally different situation.   You still do not get it.

 

No one will doubt you are English since you are white.    You are not the target for the problem discussed in the "Where are you REALLY from" situations.

 

How can that be difficult to understand?   And if a person is from X place then the person is REALLY from X place, it does not matter how the person looks.   Not so difficult to understand either.

Put it down to that person's ignorance ( in a negative way ) or lack of awareness ( more mature way of looking at it).😀)

[Fietsrad 385]

I have several different answers😉

[Aussiedog 269]

4 hours ago, Krieg said:

That video is a total failure, she mostly asked FOREIGNERS. 

I reckon it's more of a failure because it was a black woman asking the questions. It would have been more 'interesting: if it was a 'privileged white male' (like me ;-)) asking FOREIGNERS where they are really from!

 

Most reasonably sensitive people know the difference between a question asked, at the right time, out of genuine curiosity and one that will possibly cause offence. But I know from recent personal experience that it isn't always easy to get it right...and did my ever-diplomatic wife let me know how wrong I got it!

[travelerworker 116]

If you, are since you can speak, being asked where are you "really" from. If you see, since you are a kid, that your white friends are not asked that.

If you see, since you remember, that the person asking keeps pushing until you mention some African country...

well you would, soon or later, feel insulted.