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Moving kids overseas after divorce

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I need some advice.  I am from Australia and have lived in Germany with my German husband since 2009.  We have 3 children, all born in Germany. Our marriage has been rocky from the start, and in July we decided during counselling (or more accurately, I decided - he is still not 100% for it), to divorce.  Less than a week after this decision, my (soon to be ex) husband had a bad accident resulting in him being paralysed. He is now unable to move below chest level and will remain the rest of his life in a wheel chair. 

While it makes me sound heartless, I will stay by my decision to divorce. I KNOW this is the right decision after the last *hit years. My decision has only been confirmed since the accident. Our marriage long ago reached the point of no return.

The problem is, I do not want to stay in Germany.  I want desperately to return to Australia, where I have family and work opportunities and feel more like myself.  I work 16hrs a week and earn only 570€ pm. The lovely German system allows me no more money because I have no paper to show that I'm capable of doing what I've done for years in Australia. I feel trapped here, I moved here under the promise that we would return to Australia after 2 years so I could finish my Uni degree - that is now 13 years ago because my ex 'changed his mind' and 'didn't really want to live in Australia when his connections are here'. (I know I'm sounding like a bitter hag, no need to tell me).  

Another pressure point is that I have very little support with the kids, for the most part I'm on my own here (I've been in Hessen only 2 years - not long enough to build a strong support network). 

My question is, does anyone know my legal rights when it comes to being able to take the kids out of Germany? Yes, I do have my kids in mind.  The stress we are currently living under is also not good for them, something big has to change.

If I know a bit more of my rights before bringing this topic up with him, then I hopefully wont feel so afraid to face him on this topic.

Anyone had any experience in this?

 

 

 

 

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25 minutes ago, aussiecat said:

If I know a bit more of my rights before bringing this topic up with him, then I hopefully wont feel so afraid to face him on this topic.

Anyone had any experience in this?

 

 

Never mind country, it is pretty much impossible to move your kids to a different state inside Germany without your husbands agreement.

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12 minutes ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

 

Never mind country, it is pretty much impossible to move your kids to a different state inside Germany without your husbands agreement.

True, but I know that there are some legal gaps when I'm sole caretaker for kids and can't get reasonable work here

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6 minutes ago, aussiecat said:

True, but I know that there are some legal gaps when I'm sole caretaker for kids and can't get reasonable work here

 

You need a lawyer.  If you can't afford to pay for one, go to the local amtsgericht and ask for a beratungsschein.  You can use this to pay for the lawyer.  Pick a lawyer who specializes in family matters.  They should be able to tell you if there is a way for you to move.  However, if your husband has visitation rights, it's an uphill battle.  The German system may tell you that you need to stay until your kids are 18.  If you can't work more than 16 hrs. a week and need a top up from the job center, so be it.  Maybe you can work on your qualifications to get back into your field here?

 

I know of a case where the father only had a couple of hours visitation per week under supervision.  The mother was not or under employed and was on benefits.  She wanted to move 300km away where she had family support and a full time job waiting and she was told no as it would interfere with the fathers visitation. 

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Wonder what would happen if you just pack up and go and leave asking questions to when you are the other side of the globe. You will likely be up for kidnap, but are they really gonna come after you ? Rotten place to be. Calculate your risks.

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43 minutes ago, optimista said:

Wonder what would happen if you just pack up and go and leave asking questions to when you are the other side of the globe. You will likely be up for kidnap, but are they really gonna come after you ? Rotten place to be. Calculate your risks.

Yes, they will going after her. No bad advices, please!

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If the father has joint custody and makes a stink about it, they could go after her.  I dont know how Australia handles these cases but a quick google revealed at least one where the kids were removed from Australia screaming and kicking and made to return.  

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You need to obtain the Aifenhatlsbestimmungrecht, which shouldn't be that much of a problem if your husband is in a wheelchair. Where does he live now? Once you separate, you need to ask for the Aufenthaltsbestimmungrecht, which will let you decide wheer you want to stay with your kids. 

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Sorry to hear of your situation. As already said- best to see a lawyer specialising in family matters.

How old are your children and how do they feel about the divorce and possibility of move to Oz?  The Jugendamt do take the children's feelings in cases.

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14 minutes ago, RedMidge said:

Sorry to hear of your situation. As already said- best to see a lawyer specialising in family matters.

How old are your children and how do they feel about the divorce and possibility of move to Oz?  The Jugendamt do take the children's feelings in cases.

 

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Jesus. How far does this go?  Australian father of 3 kids in Germany. German wife is really sick with breast cancer and does not have the ability to look after the kids.  No income.  Not a problem. Austrailan daddy can take the back home.

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4 minutes ago, snowingagain said:

Jesus. How far does this go?  Australian father of 3 kids in Germany. German wife is really sick with breast cancer and does not have the ability to look after the kids.  No income.  Not a problem. Austrailan daddy can take the back home.

Are we referring to same post? My comment was about OP- Aussie wife wants to return to Oz with kids?🤔

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I am not sure.  The children I thought were all born here? Or perhaps that does not matter?

 

6 hours ago, aussiecat said:

We have 3 children, all born in Germany.

 

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Is it cool for a guy in wheelchair to have his (German) kids taken to live in Australia?   At least one poster here seems to think it is reasonable.  Waffle about how it is simple to get sole care for children.  "Easy".  Like he is a guy who is a drunk or druggy or violent parent.  

 

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12 minutes ago, murphaph said:

I hope I'm not the only one who feels sorriest for the man who is paralysed from the neck down?

I kept thnking I was mssing something.   If you are disabled you can just can have your kids move to the otherside of the world?

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7 hours ago, aussiecat said:

If I know a bit more of my rights before bringing this topic up with him, then I hopefully wont feel so afraid to face him on this topic.


I believe you’re mistaking fear for shame, or do you think he’ll pull a black knight on you? 

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