Smartphones and iPhones for 5th grade kids in Gymnasium?

[wien4ever 446]

My two kids (both same age) have started Gymnasium (5th grade) now and it's the same old story of pre-teen angst.

 

My daughter so far is pretty level headed about things. My son is more immature and particularly prone to comparison with other boys e.g. this boy can stay up late at night , this other one can bike all around town by himself at all hours , this other one gets more money for his birthday, etc. I forgot at this age how much bragging rights goes around boys.

 

And now my son is going on and on about how all his classmates have smartphones (and according to him all of them have iPhones! and not just hand me downs! ). Maybe I'm too old fashion, but what does a 10 year old need a smartphone (much less an 600-1000 euro iPhone!) for? What is with all these parents giving their kids these expensive items? I can't trust my kids with anything expensive like that, nor do I think it is right to spoil children like that. To me these are luxury items, and we are not sending our kids to some fancy elitist private school - it's just a catholic school. I'm guessing some kids were bribed with these phones if they studied hard and "got into Gymnasium".

 

My kids already both lost their smartwatches last year which my wife wanted them to have in order to call them to come back home while we let them loose around the neighborhood. I went cheap as they only cost 30 euros each -  I *knew* they would eventually break/lose them! So far they have not lost their replacements... but to me smartphones seems like a bad idea. First of all it will be a distraction from school and life in general, second there will the stealing/pranks from classmates, then the usual dropping and breaking stories. 

 

I guess the excuse nowadays is to keep in touch with the kids but we never needed any of that stuff when I was a kid. And frankly a smart watch with sim card is enough for that.

 

I myself don't trust myself with expensive things and only buy 50 euro android phones (specs are good enough for me!). I already busted my expensive company phone within just 6 months and have to go in for a replacement. 

 

Sorry I just need to vent! One of those "has the world gone crazy!? moments".

 

 

 

[emkay 10,151]

I met a couple a few years ago who also felt the same about their daughter asking for a smart phone before starting 5th class. The teacher advised then that the school has started to rely on WhatsApp etc to keep kids informed. And, kids sharing school info with each other.  My daughter started school here 10 years ago. If a child was off sick, another child was tasked to take schoolwork to their home.  Now, they just message info to each other.  The camera function helps too with this. Lots of pros and some cons. Not sure how parental controls  work. Maybe ask your children’s teacher.

 

My daughter is prone to her phones getting mysteriously wet! We just buy second hand from Rebuy.de. Their 3 year guarantee is very good. 

[Krieg 14,919]

My kids are now in class 7th and 9th and they have had (Android cheap-ish) phones since they were in class 4th.  Most kids have Androids and a few have hands-me-down iPhones.   I gave phones to my kids because they take public transport to go to their schools.   But to be honest, nowadays they really need them, plenty of things are done nowadays via digital boards, email and instant messaging.   The official way for the school to let them know a class is canceled is via the digital board.   The kids as well use them to get info from other kids and even to study together via video call.  Of course they use them as well for tons of nonsense, but that comes with it.  And I always preferred to expose the kids to things and teach them how to use them properly instead of "protecting" them by keeping them away.

 

 

P.S., It is interesting how the parents complaints in our school moved from "We do not want smartphones in their lives" to "How can you even think that forbidding phones in the school trip is something good?".

[snowingagain 5,186]

Same here.  Though they are not allowed to use them during school, not even in  break (though that is harder to enforce).

[MikeMelga 7,240]

My 10 year old also asks, but he won't get one before he's 12 or later. And it will be a cheap Android.

[kiplette 8,675]

10 hours ago, wien4ever said:

I'm guessing some kids were bribed with these phones if they studied hard and "got into Gymnasium".

 

I think you are more than likely right there.

 

We gave kid#1 a mobile when she started Gymnasium, because she 'had to have one' (her words). For the others we didn't fall for it and told them they could go to the Sekre if there was a problem at school.

 

We didn't go 'smart' until they were 16. Cheap Androids.

 

We had a 'family phone' (my old mobile) which they took on school trips (or whatever) in turn as needed/wanted/allowed.

 

They used my phone for whatsapp for school messages (class chat). Nowadays I would probably use the family phone for all that. In those days that phone was too crap.

 

It worked great and although there was whinging at the time, they all without exception (4 of them, now 18-26) look back and say it was better the way we did it. By the time they got their phones they used them well as tools and we avoided all the associated nonsense. 

 

53 minutes ago, Krieg said:

And I always preferred to expose the kids to things and teach them how to use them properly instead of "protecting" them by keeping them away.

 

It wasn't so much protection for the individual kids, although in the end they were protected from a lot of horrible stuff that went on in their classes, but more as a protection of our family life. With 4 kids the faff of forever laying down/enforcing screen time rules and no phones at the table etc. would have just been very tedious for all, and the stress of losing/breaking the phones would have been a real thing. They played with each other and their lego etc for years and years, and did many creative projects, although obviously I have no idea how different it would have been with smartphones.

 Friends with 4 kids who took a different path were hard to be with for years because of the constant bickering over phones. 

 

In the end there isn't a right or wrong, just different. If we were talking about young kids I would be definitely anti - there is plentiful evidence that screen time is impacting childhood negatively, but at this age, it's more about how your family functions, how much cash you've got to throw away on easily lost expensive items, how you go about teaching responsibility, and how your individual kids are with regard to peer relationships. 

[LukeSkywalker 7,597]

2 hours ago, Krieg said:

The official way for the school to let them know a class is canceled is via the digital board. 

Ah, back in the 1980s I would only find that out on the board in the hall. My home was 5 km away, so we stayed at school.

[Joanie 1,130]

Yeaaah I’d say a lot of you are out of date. 
 

rarely does anyone buy a brand new iPhone for a kid.  Most kids in grade 5 have gotten a used one.  I get them through my work, my kids have normally gotten my old one.  Only in grade 10 did my daughter get her first new iPhone, she paid for half and the rest was a Christmas present. 
 

Although I think it’s terrible for kids, they will absolutely be out of the loop if they don’t have one.  Most classes have a WhatsApp group (not facilitated by the teacher but by the kids themselves) where homework and info about tests are shared.   When my kids didn’t have a phone, they joined the WhatsApp group on MY phone so I’m pretty keyed into what information was coming through.  The second thing is that most schools will have their class schedules through an app called Untis - this shows room changes and schedules, ie class cancellations, as well as any exams or sometimes homework or messages from the teacher. 
 

best thing to do though is to ask at the first ELTERNABEND and see if what I’ve described is the case in your kids class, so most the kids actually have smart phones, do they use Untis, etc etc. 

 

btw, “just a Catholic school” can also sometimes be very well off kids.  My kids go to a Catholic gymnasium and it’s where the richest kids of the area go (something I did not know when I registered them).  They are almost done gymnasium now, but I had a lot of issues through the years as it became clear that most of the kids’ parents came from a lot of money, at first it was phones and iPads in class, then it was clothes and where classmates wanted to dine at lunch (local restaurants instead of the cafeteria) now it’s vehicles.   Luckily my kids do not buy into as much as some kids might, but the issue has come up more than once.  

[vivanco 173]

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220914-whats-the-right-age-to-get-a-smartphone

 

Theres pro and con of everything and so is with this decision. 

[kiplette 8,675]

20 hours ago, Joanie said:

Yeaaah I’d say a lot of you are out of date. 

 

Most of the people who have replied have kids at school at the moment, so that's quite dismissive.

 

Many many of my kids friends have/had new iphones, it wasn't and isn't rare at all. Shockingly. Even in the early years of secondary school.

 

We can only speak for our own experiences and those of our families. Schooling varies wildly here in terms of process and requirements.

 

6 hours ago, vivanco said:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220914-whats-the-right-age-to-get-a-smartphone

 

Thank you for that link. Really interesting read. 

[MikeMelga 7,240]

On 9/16/2022, 4:56:48, vivanco said:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220914-whats-the-right-age-to-get-a-smartphone

 

Theres pro and con of everything and so is with this decision. 

If the kid uses a desktop computer or a tablet at home, these "potential benefits" of early adoption of smartphone are gone.

 

[pinksamaras 5]

I bought a cheap android phone for my daughter who was 9 years old last year. Since I need to go to office leaving her at home for one or 2 hours, it was my decision to buy her one. But it is linked to my phone by family link and only calls will be allowed. Last year she was not allowed to take it to school though because we live 2 minutes away and he went to Hort in the afternoon. She didn't ask for it too. This year I ask her to take it because she takes bus alone and will be back home before I reach home from work. Still only calls are allowed due to family link restrictions. YouTube or WhatsApp is for half an hour each. She tried to download few games (under 12 ratings ) but I blocked it when the automatic message for permission arrives. Only those which she really likes to use 5 min each. I must say I am very relieved that now she has a mobile with her and I can reach her or the other way around if she missed the bus. She has also the school app installed in it so she can see any changes in the lessons and rooms and can contact teachers if there is something to ask. In WhatsApp, I search it once in a while and there too no contacts except the one that I allowed and I know the password of the phone. I had spent less than 100 euros to buy that  phone and will never spent more than that even if she argues with me.

[DoubleDTown 388]

I'm not a fan of unsupervised Internet access for kids, and I agree it's annoying to see groups of kids on the bus all looking at phones and not at each other. 

Ten years ago when there was more of a choice between a smartphone and a not-smartphone I went to a presentation our Gymnasium had from some e.V. about media and kids.  They speaker said yeah, it's crazy how kids can get addicted - that they do programs to teach troubled kids how to throw a ball or a frisbee because they literally couldn't.  On the other hand he said, you can't stop access to porn.  Forget about it.  If they don't get it on their phone, they'll see it on another kid's phone.  Just prepare for it and be honest about it. 

I agree there are legitimate uses for the phone for a 5th grader.  These include, at our Gymnasium: access to the Vertretungsplan to know if classes are canceled or changed; access to the menu for ordering or canceling lunch; access to most up to date bus/streetcar info; and of course WhatsApp groups - (or your favorite "supposedly NSA proof" app of the day for those that don't trust WhatsApp)

That said, especially the younger kids do not need a top of the line model.  A 5 year old Android phone will suffice.  See clevertronic.de etc.   Also a pay-as-you go plan will suffice, especially to stop extravagant uses of mobile data.