Ex won't pay child support, do I qualify for Unterhaltsvorschus?

[Proton Anna 63]

Hi all,

I have a bit of a tricky situation here. I broke up with my ex, who is the father of my son. We have been married, now separated, filing for divorce. 

He moved to Hungary and does not want to pay child support. Says he is broke. 

I applied for  Unterhaltsvorschus, for which I qualify. About 177 euros per month.

However, my ex wants to see the kid in Hungary, so I agreed to send him to him (kid is male) for the school holidays. That's about 12 weeks per year. 

I have Aufenthaltbestimmungrecht for my son. 

Now, the lady from the Unterhaltsvorschus asked me to send her the list of the dates when my son will be with his father, and told me that I will only get a portion of that 177 euros as proportionate to the amount of time my son will be with me. That is, if he will be with me for the remainder of the 40 weeks out of the year, which is about 75% of the time, which makes it about 132 euros (75% times 177 euros). 

Is this right? Can she do this? 

Thank you

[LeonG 14,797]

You have retained a lawyer for the divorce. Have you asked him?

 

In a way it seems fair to me because you are not feeding the kid while he is with dad.  If you each had him 50/50, who should pay whom?

 

In other ways it's not because you will likely be the one stuck paying for school supplies, shoes, clothes etc.

[Proton Anna 63]

6 hours ago, LeonG said:

You have retained a lawyer for the divorce. Have you asked him?

 

In a way it seems fair to me because you are not feeding the kid while he is with dad.  If you each had him 50/50, who should pay whom?

 

In other ways it's not because you will likely be the one stuck paying for school supplies, shoes, clothes etc.

That is exactly my point. 

[Proton Anna 63]

20 minutes ago, Proton Anna said:

That is exactly my point. 

<If it would be 50/50 nobody would pay anyone. However, this is not 50/50. Moreover, the father does not live in Germany. He cannot take the kid to kindergarten after he has had him, for example. when he has him, it is only for vacation. 

[fraufruit 41,963]

8 hours ago, LeonG said:

You have retained a lawyer for the divorce. Have you asked him?

 

Also, if he has no income and can't pay child support, how can he feed and house and take care of your son for 12 weeks?

[Proton Anna 63]

2 hours ago, fraufruit said:

 

Also, if he has no income and can't pay child support, how can he feed and house and take care of your son for 12 weeks?

I have no idea. Of course he has an income, but it is not my job to prove it. 

[fraufruit 41,963]

I don't know how you'd prove it when he lives and works in Hungary. How is he still registered in Germany?

 

I doubt if I'd send my kid to a deadbeat dad. What a loser. Are you sure he'll send him back?

[MikeMelga 7,255]

Wasn't there a discussion a few months ago that IN NO CIRCUNSTANCES let the divorced parents kids go to hungary, as courts there would give full custody to the parent living in Hungary??

[Metall 14,514]

35 minutes ago, fraufruit said:

I don't know how you'd prove it when he lives and works in Hungary. How is he still registered in Germany?

 

I doubt if I'd send my kid to a deadbeat dad. What a loser. Are you sure he'll send him back?

 

Here's the thing - if deadbeat ex simply keeps the child, in his mind he won't have to pay at all!

I would be very wary of sending the child to Hungary, especially with that county's poor track record in respect to child abductions. Seriously.

 

EDIT: +1 to Mike above!!

[fraufruit 41,963]

Back in the day, my first ex didn't get visitation when he got behind on child support. He was always behind and never visited anyway or wanted to. Another story.

[Proton Anna 63]

18 hours ago, fraufruit said:

Back in the day, my first ex didn't get visitation when he got behind on child support. He was always behind and never visited anyway or wanted to. Another story.

I can´t do that. I want my kid to see his father. 

[Proton Anna 63]

19 hours ago, fraufruit said:

I don't know how you'd prove it when he lives and works in Hungary. How is he still registered in Germany?

 

I doubt if I'd send my kid to a deadbeat dad. What a loser. Are you sure he'll send him back?

He is still registered in Germany. Didnt pay his AOK in ages. You can find another thread about this. 

I have Aufenhaltbestimmungrecht. I know where he lives, yes he will send the kid back. 

 

[Proton Anna 63]

18 hours ago, MikeMelga said:

Wasn't there a discussion a few months ago that IN NO CIRCUNSTANCES let the divorced parents kids go to hungary, as courts there would give full custody to the parent living in Hungary??

That is not an option. I have Aufenhaltsbestimmungrecht. If my ex won´t return him, the police will. However, as my ex is the father, he has right to see his child. Jugendamt is informed. 

[MikeMelga 7,255]

3 minutes ago, Proton Anna said:

That is not an option. I have Aufenhaltsbestimmungrecht. If my ex won´t return him, the police will. However, as my ex is the father, he has right to see his child. Jugendamt is informed. 

From previous discussion, he can take the child in Germany, drive to hungary, apply for residence there and the judge will give him full custody. Nothing Germany can do about it.

 

[Proton Anna 63]

1 hour ago, MikeMelga said:

From previous discussion, he can take the child in Germany, drive to hungary, apply for residence there and the judge will give him full custody. Nothing Germany can do about it.

 

Sure, but why would the judge give him full custody in Hungary? The child has never lived in Hungary. He has shared custody here. Moreover, in Hungary the mother is usually given custody most of the time. 

I need to speak to a lawyer in Hungary too. Thank you for this idea. It just popped into my head after reading this reply. 

However, considering that Hungary is in the EU and I know my ex´s address, I am less concerned. But I will speak with a lawyer in Hungary. 

[LeonG 14,797]

13 minutes ago, Proton Anna said:

Sure, but why would the judge give him full custody in Hungary? The child has never lived in Hungary. He has shared custody here. Moreover, in Hungary the mother is usually given custody most of the time. 

I need to speak to a lawyer in Hungary too. Thank you for this idea. It just popped into my head after reading this reply. 

However, considering that Hungary is in the EU and I know my ex´s address, I am less concerned. But I will speak with a lawyer in Hungary. 

 

Maybe they side with their own citizens more than the mother. This is not about the EU, it's about the Hague convention. Hungary has signed it but according to some cases I found while googling for you some time ago, they do not always respect custody rulings from other countries. It's a good idea to talk to a Hungarian lawyer to find out about your options if your ex gets the idea too keep the child. Your ex may be talking to a lawyer too.  

[Proton Anna 63]

42 minutes ago, LeonG said:

 

Maybe they side with their own citizens more than the mother. This is not about the EU, it's about the Hague convention. Hungary has signed it but according to some cases I found while googling for you some time ago, they do not always respect custody rulings from other countries. It's a good idea to talk to a Hungarian lawyer to find out about your options if your ex gets the idea too keep the child. Your ex may be talking to a lawyer too.  

That is true. This is why I will also speak with a lawyer in Hungary. Thank you.

[catjones 1,658]

7 hours ago, Proton Anna said:

I can´t do that

yet.

[Proton Anna 63]

Just as a final feedback, i did get word from the Rathaus regarding Unterhaltsvorschus and I do qualify for the full 177 euros, despite the child being with my ex on vacation. 

Thank you all for the replies.