Couples Counseling in English in Munich? Or what else can I do?

[Metall 14,403]

Does anybody know a therapist/counselor in Munich who can work with a couple in English?

 

No, not for me - it's for the neighbors where I am currently living who are in domestic trouble.

 

They are truly nice neighbors, we introduced us to each other, take packages/food deliveries, say hello when we meet...

but they don't get along with each other.

Here's the sticky part - they are both from India. He came here a few years ago, she joined him straight from India (we talked about this) just when the pandemic lock downs started without knowing a word of German and no job to occupy her.

And after a while, the arguing started. They live wall to wall with me, so when the volume (in their own language) went up, I couldn't miss it. And the frequency gradually went up to every week, now every couple of days... I've met her outside in her pajamas shouting into her phone, so asked if she needed help which she refused... offered help to him, too when he came out... he's run past me in the hallway and gone for  walk...

They have recently escalated to throwing stuff and slamming doors.

He isn't beating her in my opinion, because I would hear that. And believe me, I would notice.
I *think* she is deeply unhappy in Germany, but that's just guessing.

The arguing and shouting has been going on for multiple hours today, and she ran out of the house... he later led her back by the hand, which she permitted, so they are trying...

 

I already talked to them before, told them both they can come to me, day or night. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to call the police because God knows how that will mess up their residencies or make things worse.

My last idea is to get hold of some addresses with English speaking professional help, and drop a letter in their mail box - because I don't know how to tell Indian people they need counseling.

 

What else can I do? I don't want them to go overboard and do something they will regret.

[catjones 1,573]

3 hours ago, Metall said:

asked if she needed help which she refused

 

3 hours ago, Metall said:

he's run past me in the hallway

 

They may be telling you to mind your own business.

[RenegadeFurther 2,384]

9 hours ago, Metall said:

 

What else can I do? 

You could get a life and stop interfering in other people's business. 

[fraufruit 40,436]

How dare you try to be the good guy, Metall.

*sarcasm off*

 

Maybe some Indian people will read this and have a suggestion. Personally, I think an Indian speaking counselor might be better.

[Metall 14,403]

4 hours ago, fraufruit said:

Maybe some Indian people will read this and have a suggestion. Personally, I think an Indian speaking counselor might be better.

 

 

I  am hoping for that. I don't know any counselors in Munich Indians would talk to.

 

The neighbors will probably call the police soon, which is not going to help a whole lot.

 

[optimista 5,598]

14 hours ago, Metall said:

... he later led her back by the hand, which she permitted, so they are trying...

 

I don't want to call the police because...

 

1) you are interpreting... what choice did she have if she is totally isolated ?

 

2) please don t. I have my own sorry story which remains to be told about police intervention in a domestic situation. Failure after failure after failure by uniformed inadequates with a bit of power. OK I am in France. Maybe the German police are of a better calibre. Dysfunctional intervention could be catastrophic.

 

3) continue to hold out the olive branch. Especially to the lady. She is the more vulnerable. Are there any Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, even Xian faith groups that would fit ? Could s.o. visit ? Sounds like she is totally dépendent on hubby. 

 

The Church of the Ascension in Munich has parishoners from many countries, including Asians.  Maybe ask if s.o. could make a call ?

 

Sounds like she needs a friend, not the police.

[Fietsrad 273]

What is their first language? Try contacting an English language church, Seelsorge is the business of the church.

[RenegadeFurther 2,384]

This thread is getting more and more ridiculous. 

 

Think about it. Why would an Indian couple want to live with Metall?

[RedMidge 6,523]

Really nice of you Metall, thoughtful and caring. I mean that.

 But I would not get involved too closely.

[jubinjohn 228]

A marriage counselor who knows indian family dynamics in Germany , sounds impossible. A proper one is rare even in india . 

 

May be you can tell them that if they continue so , someone might call police, then probably they ll have some attention

[Metall 14,403]

Thank you for your answer.

I have an inkling that an Indian marriage is for life, that family pressure is involved, and casting any doubt on it is a big deal.

 

I'll give this some thought - whether to talk to them or write them. I have Turkish relatives, where approaching touchy subjects with respect is key - maybe that can guide me.
Definitely no police, as German authorities are supposed to keep the peace, not help in a domestic dispute.

 

But if somebody gets hurt, I don't want to be the neighbor who ignored everything.