My ex won't divorce me

[Proton Anna 63]

Dear all,

I understand that this is a question for a lawyer, but she is really hard to reach, so I am posting it here, to get some ideas. 

So I have been separated from my ex for many years, but we have lived under the same roof due to the fact that we have a small child. Now I finally moved out, and got the Aufenhaltsbestimmungrecht for the child. 

I want to divorce him as well, but he says that he won't divorce me. he says I need to wait the one year separation grace period before he will agree to go on with the divorce proceedings. His fear is that he will lose more rights as the father of our child once we are divorced. Is this the case? 

I assume that if he will not agree to state that we have no longer been a  couple despite being separated, I have no case for the divorce just yet. 

Regards, 

ProtonMom

[PandaMunich 16,704]

If he denies you had already separated while living in the same flat, yes, you will need to wait for 1 year after moving out until you're allowed to initiate the divorce proceedings in court: https://kaha--leipzig--familienanwalt-de.translate.goog/faq-items/muss-ich-die-trennung-nachweisen/?_x_tr_sl=de&_x_tr_tl=en&_x_tr_hl=en-US&_x_tr_pto=wapp

[Metall 14,539]

Donesn't the OP have to declare the separation year starts *now*?

[fraufruit 42,199]

I think he recently moved to Hungary or somewhere. Shouldn't be hard to prove but, yes, she should start the process.

[Proton Anna 63]

He said he will deny that we have been living separately because he is scared of losing certain rights when it comes to the kid. Is this true?

[fraufruit 42,199]

You have started so many threads about the same things. Didn't you say you have a lawyer? If not you need one. We are not lawyers.

 

Are you getting child support from your husband? That definitely needs to be settled. You have been advised to go to the Jugendamt.

[LeonG 14,811]

As long as you are separated you can ask for Trennungsunterhalt.

[klingklang77 501]

Please file for separation and get the Trennungsunterhalt started. If he makes more, it is in your benefit to do this earlier to get more money. If not, then please ask your lawyer. After a year of separation, you can file for divorce. That’s the way Germany is. 

 

He can’t “not divorce you.” That’s not the way it works. After three years, then it is finished, but I’m not a lawyer I just remember from my divorce 1 year and 3 years being dates for something. 

 

Please talk to your lawyer and start thinking about your pension and child support. I know it’s hard to do right now because it is so emotional, but a few years down the line, you will have wished you paid more attention to that. Trust me. 

[Metall 14,539]

Well said.

[klingklang77 501]

Another important thing: get this process started in Germany ASAP. You do not want him to file in Hungary. I did a quick google and saw that Hungary requires both parties to agree? I am not a lawyer and only read very quickly. Please talk to your lawyer about this. The country where it is filed could affect things. He could very well be trying to distract, so that he can file in Hungary. I do not know what the residency requirement (not if he is a citizen or not, but rather how long he has lived there prior to filing) is there to file.