Why (many) Germans make intrusive questions!

22 posts in this topic

I was living in Germany, and the family of my ex boyfriend (German), also German friends, and like most Germans I met always made intrusive questions. 

-  I was looking for your name on the internet, and I didn't find you, Why you're not? 

(somebody I didn't know): 

"Do you live with your parents?" 

Another German: 

"why your email is written this way? Why!!?  (I mixed my name and second names in my email address). 

"Is this dress (that I was wearing) new?" 

"Why in your country don't use the husband's second name?" 

A German doctor, during the consult, totally out of the blue: 

"Umm, Why you came to Germany?" Are you going to leave, right???" But I don't know what for are you here in Germany? With a terrible attitude. And he didn't ask that give a recommendation, He asked that several times. 

 

Etc. . . Etc. 

 

They are extremely direct, and thinking they have the right to ask you whatever come to their mind without filter. 

 

Intrusive questions is something common from "Germans" ? 

 

 

Warm Regards. 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, CinthiaM said:

Intrusive questions is something common from "Germans" ? 

Not if you are a man. I have heard a lot of such stories from women but never from men. Those are a bunch of trash racists who only attack the weak.

 

Try to make them afraid of you.

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3 minutes ago, yourkeau said:

Those are a bunch of trash racists who only attack the weak.

 

 

Jesus (yes he's been mentioned many times tonight by me and I apologise to those heathens who don't love the sweet baby jesus and welcome him into their heart and would rather burn in fire and brimstone or the intelluctuals who would rather burn in Dante's sixth circle of Hell for the many sins they have committed on this mortal coil but God approves this message)

 

Umm... what planet are you on guy?

 

PS: @mods - can I win a greenie for the longest sentence in brackets sans punctuation?

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IMO Germans are often direct to the point of being rude.  Depending on the question and who is asking, you can reply to it truthfully, reply to it with obvious BS and laugh about it, tell the person it is not their business, ask a question back etc. 

 

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3 hours ago, CinthiaM said:

Why (many) Germans make intrusive questions!

I think you mean: Why do they ASK intrusive questions?

 

It's hacer in Spanish because "piden preguntas" is almost as awkward as "preguntan preguntas" (como "¿Por qué piden/preguntan preguntas personales?"). Not in English.

 

 

2 hours ago, LeonG said:

IMO Germans are often direct to the point of being rude.

I spy, with my Doggie eye, someone who ain't never dealt with Chinese people beyond restaurant and market staff. Germans are beyond British levels of private, polite, and reserved in comparison.

woof.

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5 hours ago, Chelski said:

 

Jesus (yes he's been mentioned many times tonight by me and I apologise to those heathens who don't love the sweet baby jesus and welcome him into their heart and would rather burn in fire and brimstone or the intelluctuals who would rather burn in Dante's sixth circle of Hell for the many sins they have committed on this mortal coil but God approves this message)

 

Umm... what planet are you on guy?

 

PS: @mods - can I win a greenie for the longest sentence in brackets sans punctuation?

And what do you call capital letters, apostrophes, and parentheses?  Hmmmm?

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4 hours ago, BadDoggie said:

I spy, with my Doggie eye, someone who ain't never dealt with Chinese people beyond restaurant and market staff. Germans are beyond British levels of private, polite, and reserved in comparison.

 

Actually I was going to visit friends in China in March 2020 but got cancelled due to covid. Trying to get the visa to go there I contacted some travel agent in Berlin and spoke with the rudest guy I've ever spoken to. Unbelievable. I don't think he wanted my business. He didn't get it either. However, I've known a couple of Chinese people too who were quite nice.

 

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British people too. On the day after the surprise referendum result 2016 many people from EU countries residing in the UK reported being asked:

 

'when are you leaving?'

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11 hours ago, CinthiaM said:

I was living in Germany, and the family of my ex boyfriend (German), also German friends, and like most Germans I met always made intrusive questions. 

-  I was looking for your name on the internet, and I didn't find you, Why you're not? 

(somebody I didn't know): 

"Do you live with your parents?" 

Another German: 

"why your email is written this way? Why!!?  (I mixed my name and second names in my email address). 

"Is this dress (that I was wearing) new?" 

"Why in your country don't use the husband's second name?" 

A German doctor, during the consult, totally out of the blue: 

"Umm, Why you came to Germany?" Are you going to leave, right???" But I don't know what for are you here in Germany? With a terrible attitude. And he didn't ask that give a recommendation, He asked that several times. 

 

Etc. . . Etc. 

 

They are extremely direct, and thinking they have the right to ask you whatever come to their mind without filter. 

 

Intrusive questions is something common from "Germans" ? 

 

 

Warm Regards. 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't see your problem. Probably because I'm German.

You can't assume someone is meaning to be rude just because they don't play by your cultural norms but their own ones. Especially in their own country.

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Not too sure about being intrusive - all of those questions can be asked in a nice, friendly, way, or not.

It really depends upon the context.

 

Eg. "it that dress new?" - I could be asking because I like it, and would like to buy one just like it....

      "why is your email address written that way?" - not sure how you actually write it, but maybe I could learn about international differences by asking, or maybe it´s just your per  sonal choice, but if I don´t ask, I will never know!

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Different cultures has different threshold . Long time ago we were visiting  our parents in india. A taxi driver who brought some relatives to my in-laws home, asked me about how long were we married by then and why don't we have children. I told him it's a private decision . He was very polite and helpful by recommending me an infertility clinic.:D.

I consider that's border line intrusive. :rolleyes:

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1 hour ago, jubinjohn said:

Different cultures has different threshold . Long time ago we were visiting  our parents in india. A taxi driver who brought some relatives to my in-laws home, asked me about how long were we married by then and why don't we have children. I told him it's a private decision .

 

Not just in India, those types of questions could also be asked in Ireland. They're not being rude, just curious, and you don't have to answer.

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4 hours ago, jubinjohn said:

He was very polite and helpful by recommending me an infertility clinic.:D.

Could they help you there?

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19 hours ago, CinthiaM said:

I was living in Germany, and the family of my ex boyfriend (German), also German friends, and like most Germans I met always made intrusive questions. 

-  I was looking for your name on the internet, and I didn't find you, Why you're not? 

(somebody I didn't know): 

"Do you live with your parents?" 

Another German: 

"why your email is written this way? Why!!?  (I mixed my name and second names in my email address). 

"Is this dress (that I was wearing) new?" 

"Why in your country don't use the husband's second name?" 

A German doctor, during the consult, totally out of the blue: 

"Umm, Why you came to Germany?" Are you going to leave, right???" But I don't know what for are you here in Germany? With a terrible attitude. And he didn't ask that give a recommendation, He asked that several times. 

 

Etc. . . Etc. 

 

They are extremely direct, and thinking they have the right to ask you whatever come to their mind without filter. 

 

Intrusive questions is something common from "Germans" ? 

 

 

Warm Regards. 

 

 

 

Is it possible that the doctor wanted to know if you were staying or going because it was relevant to your visit and for any future consultations? In any other situation, I would agree, that it is a highly inappropriate question. But in a professional, medical consultation, it could be pertinent.

The other questions sound to me more like what we would call 'ice breakers' in English - they don't know you and are asking questions that maybe they really don't need to know but it's a topic at hand.

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13 hours ago, katheliz said:

And what do you call capital letters, apostrophes, and parentheses?  Hmmmm?

 

My apologises @katheliz, I was so focussed on a non comma sentence that I totally forgot the rest of the punctuation gang. My bad.

 

In repentance, I'm donning sack cloth and ashes as I type this and praying to the sweet baby Jesus to give me the lottery numbers tonight.

 

Whilst also practising my photo resizing.

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18 hours ago, LeonG said:

IMO Germans are often direct to the point of being rude. 

Yes but also no.

It´s not to the point of being rude if you´re a German though.Different culture different rules.

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6 minutes ago, Chelski said:

In repentance, I'm donning sack cloth and ashes as I type this

 

Hope your keyboard has a dust cover else we won't hear from you again...

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3 minutes ago, HH_Sailor said:

 

Hope your keyboard has a dust cover else we won't hear from you again...

 

I'll take that as a compliment.

 

The automatic dust/döner fleisch keyboard remover robot I'm developing cleans every time I step into the hof for a smoke. It senses I'm not typing. It's not ready for commercial use yet but I'm working on it.

 

However, I can remember the days of feather dusters. Or even just blowing on it.

 

Kids today expect so much.

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