Separation: can I send my kid to two kindergardens?

25 posts in this topic

Dear all, 

I am separating from my hubby and soon about to move out. I have found a very cheap apartment that looks great, however it is about 30 km away from the town where my hubby lives and where my son goes to kindergarten. As we decided to split custody of our son (50/50), I would like to know if I can register my son to a different kindergarten three days per week, so that when he is with me (say Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday), he can attend one kindergarten, and when he is with his dad (the rest of the week, say Thursday, Friday), he can go to his old kindergarten. 

I already talked to the principal of the kindergarten that he currently attends, and she told me she never had this case, and that it will probably not work. I really need it to work. She advised me to call Jugendamt. 

I am reaching out to you wonderful people to inquire if this indeed could work, and if you have any other ideas of what I can say to Jugendamt to convince them to accept this situation. 

My situation is so that I simply cannot afford to pay 1000 euros for a 2-3 bedroom apartment just because I with to separate. I will work part time, meager Arbeitslosgeld II is  not an option (I don;t want it to be an option, as it is so very little), and moving a bit farther from Munich would allow me to find more affordable housing. My hubby has a business here in Munich and he will not move. I also don't want to separate the kid from his dad for longer than a few days at a time. Find that stupid. 

Thank you

Anita

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I've never heard of it but I suppose it could work if both kindergarten are willing.  He's going to start school at some point though and schools are not entirely synchronized on lessons and homework on a day to day basis so that will be a problem.

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We've had people we know have to discuss this at the school level (which school the kid goes to, no two school option), to be honest I can't see it being any different for Kindergarten. 

Both kindergartens will have to have similar things going on (also a similar concept, is one state run, the other private etc) and there will have to be space. Then you have the financial issue, you are taking two spaces up, unless you get another kid to share etc, you could end up paying for two places.

That's assuming the Jungendampt are ok with it.

 

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There are not enough Kita places to go around and you want two spots for 1 kid?!?!?!

 

30 minutes ago, Anita_anita said:

My situation is so that I simply cannot afford to pay 1000 euros for a 2-3 bedroom apartment just because I with to separate. I will work part time, meager Arbeitslosgeld II is  not an option (I don;t want it to be an option, as it is so very little), and moving a bit farther from Munich would allow me to find more affordable housing.

 

Since you are only working part-time, why can't you work when your child is with his father?

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2 minutes ago, engelchen said:

There are not enough Kita places to go around and you want two spots for 1 kid?!?!?!

 

 

Since you are only working part-time, why can't you work when your child is with his father?

 There are enough places outside Munich. 

Working 3 days per week = 20 hours = 1000 euros, if that. Try living with 1000 euros these days. 

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5 minutes ago, cb6dba said:

We've had people we know have to discuss this at the school level (which school the kid goes to, no two school option), to be honest I can't see it being any different for Kindergarten. 

 

 Right, but that is school, and my son is only 5, and he has another 2 years until school. I am hoping the father will move closer to us when my kid will start school. 

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3 minutes ago, Anita_anita said:

 Right, but that is school, and my son is only 5, and he has another 2 years until school. I am hoping the father will move closer to us when my kid will start school. 

I think I was editing my comment when you quoted me, that is just the first sentence. 

.

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8 minutes ago, Anita_anita said:

 There are enough places outside Munich. 

 

Please remember that they are also subsidized by taxpayers. You can't expect two subsidized spots for 1 child.

 

8 minutes ago, Anita_anita said:

Working 3 days per week = 20 hours = 1000 euros, if that. Try living with 1000 euros these days. 

 

There are over a million low income families who live on ALG II aka Hartz IV. If you want a better standard of living than them, you are going to have to find a way to earn more, make sacrifices, etc. 

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2 minutes ago, engelchen said:

 

Please remember that they are also subsidized by taxpayers. You can't expect two subsidized spots for 1 child.

 

 

Hartz IV is also subsidized by the taxpayers. 

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6 minutes ago, Anita_anita said:

 

Hartz IV is also subsidized by the taxpayers. 

 

It is actually fully funded by the taxpayers, but that is not the point.

 

Welfare benefits are sufficient to cover your basic needs. If you want more than that, you're going to have to work. Unless you have qualifications that are needed here and can find a really good job, you'll probably need to work much more than 20 hours a week in order have more money than what you would receive on welfare.

 

 

 

 

 

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Just now, engelchen said:

 

It is actually fully funded by the taxpayers, but that is not the point.

 

Welfare benefits are sufficient to cover your basic needs. If you want more than that, you're going to have to work. Unless you have qualifications that are needed here and can find a really good job, you'll probably need to work much more than 20 hours a week in order have more money than what you would receive on welfare.

 

 

How can I work more if I don't have a kindergarten place for my son? I don't even want to get Hartz IV, I don't think it covers the basic needs. Try getting an apartment as a single parent on Hartz IV. Try paying for you car to get repaired on Hartz IV. WFT? I don't need patronizing remarks here. I had a question: I need a cheap apartment, which I cannot get if I live in Kreis Munich, I want to move to a different Kreis but want to share custody with my ex, so I need a kindergarten place 50% of the time in one place, 50% of the time in another. I want to know if it has been done before. Not two kindergarten places, just one, but split in two locations. So I can work almost 100% of the time, and not have to get Hartz IV. If you can't answer it, please refrain from judgemental comments. 

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There's no shame in working and taking a Hartz iv top up if you qualify.  That's what it's there for.  It's not easy for parents of small children to work full time in Germany.

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22 minutes ago, LeonG said:

There's no shame in working and taking a Hartz iv top up if you qualify.  That's what it's there for.  It's not easy for parents of small children to work full time in Germany.

It is not about shame or not. Of course it is not shameful to get it, but in my case I can do without it just fine. I am young, smart, qualified. I want to work. I have always worked a lot and want to keep it this way. I have no problem with paying taxes to subsidize Hartz IV for those who need it. 

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I am sure this is a difficult time for you, but why not look for a cheaper 1 bedroomed apartment ( with a sofa bed in the lounge) nearer the kindergarten  , instead of moving away?  This way, you can see how the custody sharing goes. 

It will also be nicer for your child to stay with the same teachers and classmates.

Harz IV is there to help in times of need- use it till life has stabilised. Good luck.

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8 minutes ago, RedMidge said:

I am sure this is a difficult time for you, but why not look for a cheaper 1 bedroomed apartment ( with a sofa bed in the lounge) nearer the kindergarten  , instead of moving away?  This way, you can see how the custody sharing goes. 

It will also be nicer for your child to stay with the same teachers and classmates.

Harz IV is there to help in times of need- use it till life has stabilised. Good luck.

 Believe it or not, I searched for 2 room apartments and was told that it would be too small for two people, as there would be only one bedroom and the kid would need its own room. I kid you not. Outside Munich apartments are very cheap. I found a 3 room apartment, not too big but enough for what i would need, for 600 euros warm. How would you find that in Munich? 

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If you are separating, please see a lawyer. They will the agreement in place with how much money he has to give you for your child and for you (I assume he makes more money). You are entitled to get separation payments from him. It doesn’t sound like he will be giving you any of that? Also you need to get moving on the separation paperwork because your separation date is the date to start getting your money and if 6 months go by, you do NOT get back payments. 

 

You can work part time on Hartz 4. The limit right now is 446 for living. Rent and Nebenkosten are separate from that. Those regulations came about from the pandemic. I think the highest a single person can get is about 1200? This will also cover your health insurance and Rentenversicherung. You can also get help with a social worker and Sozial Wohnungen. 

 

I highly suggest you concentrate on getting a lawyer for your separation payments and looking into Hartz 4 or Wohnungsgeld to further help you. I would worry about the kindergarten issue later. 

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We are in the process of changing Kitas, and the Kitagutschein is tied to ONE Kita. Your kid has to be abgemeldet by the current Kita before you can sign a contract with another Kita is what we were told. The new Kita has to have a Bestätigung of cancellation at the old Kita before they can even draft a new contract.

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I don't think this would work for a variety of reasons.  

For one,  you will be taking up two spots unless you find someone who wants to share those two spaces with you,  having the exact opposite needs. 

I also think it would be crappy for your son.  He would have to try to fit into two groups with different dynamics, forever jumping back and forth. Different kindergartens have different rules and different concepts which i think would be very confusing to a five year old. It might sound charming for the parents, but definitely not for the child.  Even more so when it comes to school.  

 

If, say, dad has him for two days a week, he might be ok doing the longer commute to pick him up on those two days.  

 

IMO, in a time that is probably already really confusing for your kids with the separation,  the move etc. , it is even more important for your kid to have stability and predictability in his life.  

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16 hours ago, Anita_anita said:

 I am hoping the father will move closer to us when my kid will start school. 

Isn't that a bit of a gamble? But back to your question: It's possible. My kids visited 2 kindergartens in parallel (one was a Waldkindergarten). I had to pay both fully though. Wasn't expensive though as the Waldkindergarten was only  open two days a week anyway.

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5 hours ago, jeba said:

Isn't that a bit of a gamble? But back to your question: It's possible. My kids visited 2 kindergartens in parallel (one was a Waldkindergarten). I had to pay both fully though. Wasn't expensive though as the Waldkindergarten was only  open two days a week anyway.

How long ago was this?

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