Create a new conspiracy theory

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Seems that conspiracy theories are all the rage these days.  So many subjects to choose from, i.e., Trump back in WH come August, Bill Gates, 5G networks, Italygate, UFOs, Covid, New world order, freemasonry, antichrist, and on and on.  Create a conspiracy theory out of your arse or your deranged imagination!  How hard can it be?  I'll start..

 

It's known that scientists use pigs for drug experiments before conducting human trials because the physiology of the two is 84 per cent similar at the genetic level.  Well,  a short time back and not too far away a pig was injected with mRNA  type drugs during coronavirus testing somewhere in a Chinese lab.  In accordance with testing requirements, the pig was isolated in order to study the side effects and establish a baseline. At some point, the horny pig escaped the lab and mated with another lustful pig.  Scientists were able to track it down, but later discovered that the offspring of these two had resulted in a one-eyed piglet. Due to the pharmaceutical financial investment in the drug trial this genetic aberration was kept on the down low.   A few weeks ago, a human baby was born in the Hubei Province of China with one eye and a fused nose and upper lip (read elephant trunk) after both of his parents had been vaccinated with the same mRNA  drug. Coincidence?  I think not!  You heard it first here on TT.
 

 

And we're off!

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It's well known in some obscure corners of TT that Admin El Jeffo never resigned and is still a sekrit admin who can have any post or user he wants removed at a whim.

 

Apparently I'm the TT equivalent of JFK Jr. and Tupac.

 

Peace out, y'all.

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The best new one is "Birds arnt real". Apparently they are robots created by the government to spy on its citizens and sit on powerlines to recharge their batteries. You can google this. I think its a joke but I have no doubt someone believes it.

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1 hour ago, El Jeffo said:

It's well known in some obscure corners of TT that Admin El Jeffo never resigned and is still a sekrit admin who can have any post or user he wants removed at a whim.

 

Mate, you got fired! 

 

End of! 

 

 

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Here is a good fake one.

 

All the bees/wasps/Hornets have been replaced with nano cyber technology bugs. They look like bees/wasps/Hornets, they behave the same they pollenate like  bees/wasps/Hornets but inside them is the latest cyber nano technology to keep an eye on all citizens. The world is "bugged"

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2 minutes ago, Anna66 said:

Here is a good fake one.

 

All the bees/wasps/Hornets have been replaced with nano cyber technology bugs. They look like bees/wasps/Hornets, they behave the same they pollenate like  bees/wasps/Hornets but inside them is the latest cyber nano technology to keep an eye on all citizens. The world is "bugged"

 

Give that another 20 years for the tech to perfect itself.  

 

https://spectrum.ieee.org/automaton/robotics/robotics-hardware/uw-micro-camera

 

On that note, I saw a real hornet the other day walking around a pond. Holy crap. Huge, yellow, brown. Not very inconspicuous. 

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Germans have hacked into BioNTech vaccine nanochip and installed a virus that makes cashless payments impossible with this vaccine. 

 

As a result the Bundesbank has announced that a ban on 1 eurocent coins has been postponed until the vulnerability is fixed. For the fix, the third vaccine jab will be required. 

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4 hours ago, El Jeffo said:

 

Apparently I'm the TT equivalent of JFK Jr. and Tupac.

 

 

Your TT equivalent of The Muppet Show.

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My favorite conspiracy theory at the moment is that the earth is hollow, and there are lizard people living underground who secretly control all of the governments on the surface. Entrances are of course at the north and south poles, and global warming would have melted the ice that keeps them locked away, which is why global leaders are so concerned with it.

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Princess Diana didn't get murdered by the Royal Family, but she was kidnapped by them.

She is being held in a secret location, and is being used to populate a new version of reptilian Royal.

It is hoped that the new variant will have lost the horsey teeth, sexual deviances and the taste for human flesh.

Her vagina has been renamed "The Heir Vent".

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3 hours ago, LukeSkywalker said:

Elvis is still alive.

Shhh... We've been trying to bury that one for years. 

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Aliens are in fact genetically engineered humans born from the offspring of selected male members of the SS and female Aryan´s during the German "Lebensborn" Project, way back in the 40ties. Anni-Frid Lyngstad of ABBA fame is one such child, for instance.

The UFO´s of course are developments of German secret weapons and they operate out of a base called "Neu-Schwabenland" on the island of Bjørnøya, or Bear Island in the Barent sea.

Their economy survives by trading advanced knowledge for tools, hardware and consumables.

 

Now you know the rest of the story.

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Wasn't sure if she was the product of The Project with the SS, or just of rape by any old German soldier. Her mother never mentioned her father to her apparently.

 

Oh yeah, now I have to do a conspiracy thingy. Witchraft is still alive and well in Wycombe caves, Bucks.

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'Aliens' have been on Earth eons before humans. They are the true native earthlings.  During the cretaceous-paleogene extinction event, 66 million years ago, they went underground or deep underwater to survive.  They remain and still thrive there, advanced way beyond our capabilities.  The UFOs we see are just them venturing above ground or water, curious to see what humans are up to. 

 

hmmm, almost posted this in the 'Untrue (Alternative) facts' thread.

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1 hour ago, Techsmex said:

'Aliens' have been on Earth eons before humans. They are the true native earthlings.  During the cretaceous-paleogene extinction event, 66 million years ago, they went underground or deep underwater to survive.  They remain and still thrive there, advanced way beyond our capabilities.  The UFOs we see are just them venturing above ground or water, curious to see what humans are up to. 

 

hmmm, almost posted this in the 'Untrue (Alternative) facts' thread.

Yes, but they died out aeons ago. There has been others over the millennia. It´s the other ones that arrived shortly after the turn of the century in 1901 that got the worlds governments to finally act. Scott was sent to Antartica to asses a crashed space ship and see if any technology could be salvaged. They managed to acquire something, nobody now knows what it was, but after the British could not find out what it was Whitehall sent the artifact to America in 1912 on board the Titanic, that´s why it was sunk by a controlled iceberg. 

The Germans managed to salvage some more items in 1932 giving them the technology needed to design advanced weapons while working in secret with other governments around the world to combat these aliens. The whole WW2 thing was just smoke and mirrors to cover up the battles being fought with the aliens.

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19 hours ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

Your TT equivalent of The Muppet Show.

Wow, you really get illiterate when you get mad. I can practically feel the spittle hitting the screen as you stab at the keys with your stubby little fingers.

 

But that's an interesting theory. Let's elaborate, shall we? In the Jeffo's a Sekrit Admin conspiracy theory, I'm clearly the ringleader, making me Kermit. But what does that make you? Are you the ridiculously patriotic and utterly humorless Sam the Eagle? Or are you Fozzie Bear, who is desperate for attention but can never think up an original joke? Or are you Miss Piggy, the vain sow who thinks so much of herself, yet is utterly besotted with Kermit (i.e. me in this scenario)? Or are you Gonzo, who also suffers from delusions of grandeur, yet consistently fails completely in all his endeavors and then fucks chickens?

 

Wait, I've got it: you and your dozen alts are the pack of rats that infests the theater and is always up to no good.

 

When you think about it, you're pretty much a whole Muppet Show yourself. So projection as usual.

 

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme.

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Aliens exist and they are everywhere, we do not realize it and they do not contact us because they are much more advanced than us.   When was the last time you tried to contact ants?

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12 minutes ago, El Jeffo said:

 

But that's an interesting theory. Let's elaborate, shall we? In the Jeffo's a Sekrit Admin conspiracy theory, I'm clearly the ringleader, making me Kermit. But what does that make you? Are you the ridiculously patriotic and utterly humorless Sam the Eagle? Or are you Fozzie Bear, who is desperate for attention but can never think up an original joke? Or are you Miss Piggy, the vain sow who thinks so much of herself, yet is utterly besotted with Kermit (i.e. me in this scenario)? Or are you Gonzo, who also suffers from delusions of grandeur, yet consistently fails completely in all his endeavors and then fucks chickens?

 

 

The Muppets were tools of Communist propaganda designed to normalize obesity (Miss Piggy) and convince the kids who grew up on it that people living in garbage cans and shooting up all day were just like that grumpy but harmless Oscar the grouch.    Just have a look at San Francisco these days, but don't wear open shoes if you decide to walk around.  

 

12 minutes ago, El Jeffo said:

Wait, I've got it: you and your dozen alts are the pack of rats that infests the theater and is always up to no good.

 

The thread title is "Create a New Conspiracy" not "Repeat an old and worn out Conspiracy". 

12 minutes ago, El Jeffo said:

When you think about it, you're pretty much a whole Muppet Show yourself. So projection as usual.

 

in other words, "i know you are but what am i".   

 

----

 

My contribution:    Recommending exercise, fresh air and sunshine is not simply the repetition of what almost every Physician says, but a nefarioous plot to increase the incidence of skin cancer and weaken the self-esteem of those who are unable to motivate themselves to walk 15-30 minutes per day.   In addition, people who make the mistake of taking this advice will live longer, putting the retirement systems of western countries in an even worse situation, thus increasing human misery net/net.    

 

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1 hour ago, Krieg said:

Aliens exist and they are everywhere, we do not realize it and they do not contact us because they are much more advanced than us.   When was the last time you tried to contact ants?

Are you suggesting we're more advanced than ants? :unsure:

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