Child in foreign boarding school...anything in Germany to think about?

[MattW 8]

Hi All,

 

Will probably send my daughter to board in the UK from the summer.

Is there anything to think about on the German side. I guess she will still spend

significant time here, so any idea on whether I should keep her 'Angemeldet' and 

on our German Health insurance. We have duel citizenship so I hope that 

will make things easier.

 

Thanks for any info.

[kiplette 8,294]

Kindergeld? Just another thing to make sure of. 

I would keep her on your health insurance regardless.

Some things may depend on how many days she is here, and how many she is in the UK, so you might literally need to count up days of term time, thinking about if she'll be home for half term etc.

Sorry to be guessing and not have solid info. I don't know anyone on TT with boarders in the UK to point you to.

[Feierabend 1,070]

Something in the back of my mind is that the Schulamt has to give permission to ensure that the Schulpflicht requirements will  be met, but I may be totally wrong.

[jeba 4,163]

6 hours ago, Feierabend said:

Something in the back of my mind is that the Schulamt has to give permission to ensure that the Schulpflicht requirements will  be met, but I may be totally wrong.

AFAIK they don´t have to give permission but must be informed. At least in Bavaria. When I left with my kids though I didn´t bother and nobody questioned it. But it was under unusual circumstances (kids in private school in a different county than the one residing in).

[MattW 8]

Thanks for the answers.

I'm sure if the Schulamt see something to moan about they will.

As we did the assessment day for her new school - I wanted just to register her sick from current one here! but my wife applied for a Befreiuung,... cue a lot of moaning from the school office ... ending in a 'don't do it again!'

With Kindergeld - can you still keep it if the child is out of the EU. Or is the only 

requirement  that you are a tax payer in Germany?

 

[jeba 4,163]

17 hours ago, MattW said:

With Kindergeld - can you still keep it if the child is out of the EU. Or is the only 

requirement  that you are a tax payer in Germany?

I´m guessing here that you can get it. That guess is based on that I know someone who didn´t even live in Germany herself but applied to be treated as a tax resident with unlimited tax liability only to receive it for her child.

[MattW 8]

Thankyou to everyone for the answers.

 

I have a new confirmed start date for her UK school in sept. However I have a new caper ongoing.

I'm thinking of pulling her out of her school now and just somehow 'homeschooling' her until sept.

obsv this is a little 'edgy' to say the least

 

But if i 'abmeldene' her from her current school - could I wing it for an interim period until sept where

she is out of German School - before she goes to the uk in summer.

[Feierabend 1,070]

Um, 'edgy' = illegal, oder?

Surely if you take her out of her German  school mid-year you will be asked to state what school she will be going to? I can't imagine that the school or Schulamt won't check. 

[dstanners 1,412]

Yeah, removing a school-aged child from school would be illegal. Distance learning might be a possibility. I know of a few children who are currently relieved of the obligation to attend school in person due to health concerns re Covid, either their own health situation or that of their parents (a kid in my son's class hasn't been to school in a year due to his Dad being high risk). They remain registered at the school though, and the big issue, is that you'd need a doctor to confirm the need for the child to be allowed distance learning.  

Are there really no decent schools nearer to where you live in Germany, or do you move about too much?

 

[MattW 8]

Hi, 

 

Thanks for the answers. I guess more detail would be interesting. We came to Germany in 2017 and my daughter

started in the Klasse 3. She is very talented with languages and managed to get the Gymnasium Empfehlung. However she was never really happy and her base ability carried her through. During the last year (Y7 in Gymnasium) she entered a negative spiral and wants nothing to do with school.

 

Before that in the UK she loved school, and was really good. For UK independent schools you sit the 13+ exam, which I helped her prep for. You could tell the way the material is presented and tested for really clicked for her. Also during her entry tests they had to do an online group activity and she really enjoyed that.

 

During lockdown online lessons you can eavesdrop on lessons in her Gymnasium (also a bit edgy), and honestly (ok one expectional teacher who really tries) why are the teachers teachers, unbelievable how little effort they put in! Its a joke. 

 

Anyway I really think the target school in the UK will fit her, and we hope to move the whole family across in one year and switch to day school, and my son can go as well.

 

I visited of BIS Munich which also seems really nice, but in the end opted for boarding first (we would have to move anyhow) 

 

I will move back to the UK when possible. At the moment the Job market in the UK is a little volatile, and so I want to stay where I am. So this Is the background, I was hoping she could have an extended holiday in Ger before going to the UK in summer. 

 

It completely ruins my day if I feel my kids are under-served or unhappy at school. i'd rather retire poor!

 

Cheers.

[optimista 5,493]

Surely one of life's valuable lessons it to keep plodding on regardless... even when times are tough and not quite to one's liking. Pulling your kid out of school seems rather (very) extreme. Are her - necessarily - temporary issues so insoluble?

[MattW 8]

Hi Optimista

 

Good point, however at this stage its really important children are motivated to learn, and can optimize their life chances. OK when they are 18, 19 ,20 then you can expect them to dig in but not before. Or lets say they can dig in if they have the right environment...

[kiplette 8,294]

She may feel freed up by the knowledge that all will be over soon - I know both as a child and an adult that my attitude and experience of a somewhat negative period were absolutely transformed by the knowledge that it would be over soon. 

 

 Especially if the marks don't matter.

 

Can she join her new school for some online activities? The great thing about German schools is most of it is over by lunchtime, or at least round here it is, under Covid.

[emkay 9,680]

On 25/02/2021, 18:02:28, MattW said:

 During the last year (Y7 in Gymnasium) she entered a negative spiral and wants nothing to do with school.

Sounds like puberty and the general psychological effect on children due to COVID.  Out of interest, what did your daughter’s teacher say when you discussed the issue with him/her?

 

Not sure if I remember correctly, did @arunadasi send her children to boarding school in the UK?

[optimista 5,493]

Yes, she did. Her old alma mater. To transformational effect.

[arunadasi 7,073]

13 hours ago, emkay said:

 

 

Not sure if I remember correctly, did @arunadasi send her children to boarding school in the UK?

 

12 hours ago, optimista said:

Yes, she did. Her old alma mater. To transformational effect.

 

 

Yes, I did, but not to my alma mater, which was in Harrogate. I sent them both to St Bede's in Eastbourne (now Bede's). My son had ADD problems before he went, my daughter was dyslexic. Both were helped enormously so that they graduated problem free. Funny, I haven't checked into TT for months and then I come as if summoned!


(Edited to add: read the whole thread now. Good luck OP.)

 

I sent my son to boarding school when he was ten. I can't remember much about the paperwork but we definitely still got Kindergeld. By the time my daughter was ready to go, also aged ten, I went with her so she was a day student. We lived just around the corner and came back to Germany in the holidays. She wasn't really the boarding type. Both have good memories of UK schools and say it was much, much better.

 

[MattW 8]

18 hours ago, emkay said:

Sounds like puberty and the general psychological effect on children due to COVID.  Out of interest, what did your daughter’s teacher say when you discussed the issue with him/her?

 

Definitely  puberty and covid haven’t helped. However  both  may have made the underlying situation clearer, and spurred us into action.

 

On the second point i’ve never managed a constructive conversation with a German teacher. 

 

I think she does feel better now she knows she is leaving. However they still have a lot of homework and tests. Can any real trouble be brewing if the grades and handed in work really slip. can i get into trouble as a parent, before the summer?

 

Relieved to see someone else took that route before as well!!

[optimista 5,493]

7 hours ago, MattW said:

Can any real trouble be brewing if the grades and handed in work really slip...

I would consider where you think your kid's future lies in terms of geographical location. Sometimes walking away can indeed be the best solution. But only if you are sure she is not going to come back. Burnt bridges and all that. If you think her future is very unlikely to be in Germany, then maybe walking away - and staying away - would be best. Otherwise, toughing it out for a few months may pay dividends further down the line. Damage limitation... and long-term views...

 

Your comment about constructive conversations with German teachers makes me laugh and cry at the same time. It's a sad indictment.

[MattW 8]

I think coming back to Germany in later life is very possible after A-Levels and or study, especially if you have some German.

 

At this later stage of life it gets much easier to move to germany . I came here for work and it’s pretty nice, and you are welcomed. Only for kids it’s tough. 

[kiplette 8,294]

9 hours ago, MattW said:

 

On the second point i’ve never managed a constructive conversation with a German teacher. 

 

 

I know what you mean! 

 

I have had plenty, and some of them really good, but equally - Oh my. The english teacher who told me that kid#4 wouldn't need any extra (more interesting) materials in class (5) because he would be learning 'just the same' as the German kids, and this was a 'teachery' fact which I wouldn't understand....that's my favourite ridiculous story.

 

10 hours ago, MattW said:

Can any real trouble be brewing if the grades and handed in work really slip.

 

If her place in the new school is assured, I really don't see how. She's not getting an Abschluss from here because she's not old enough, so a crappy Zeugnis which the other school won't look at is neither here nor there. German schools and teachers mostly leave the pushing for better things to kids and parents, so they probably will hardly notice and definitely not care. She'll have to turn up, though, else you have lost your schul-pflicht fulfillment and that would be an issue.