Funny or shocking job interview stories

21 posts in this topic

I'm sure this has popped up before but well f*ck it. Does anyone have funny or shocking job interview stories? 

I had to bring my daughter to an interview a few years ago. The job was to look after a woman in a wheelchair. My kid was great until I had to practice how to get the lady out of the wheelchair. Cracked the shits but I got the job.

Bueller, Bueller anyone, anyone!

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Long time ago, I turned up late for the interview with the simple excuse

that I'd been to the other XYZ-IT company in the same street - some 200m away.

 

First company took a while to find th guy who was hiring - and he said he didn't have interviews today.

We checked again and realised I should have been at house number 15 and not at 25.

Wasn't even a subsiduary or such.

 

Offices tend to have office names on the front and not house numbers...

 

All my fault, I know.

Just get there early everyone - just like the Germans do!

 

just in case... 

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Recruiters usually came to our university campus: it was convenient for the students and seemed a little more relaxed and no one dressed up for on campus interviews.

However one of the places I applied to asked me to come downtown to their office for my interview.

 

There weren't many days between the letter from the firm and the interview, I remember looking desperately into my closet for even one somewhat dressy outfit. I found a blouse that might do and a pair of black shoes and manufactured  a plain skirt to complete the outfit.  

 

On the day of the interview it  didn't help my nervousness when  I noticed how well the receptionist was dressed  and how she noticed how poorly I was.

 

The interviewer  went o.k.  but as it came to an end,  I realized I had completely forgotten the interviewer's name!  OMG I thought, how was I going to write the expected thank you letter to the firm, as was the custom.  Then I remembered some advice: "Ask the person to spell their name for you".  So in my best, hopefully professional way I asked it he could please spell his name for me.

 

You know how it ends already:      He said  S...M...I...T...H

 

The punchline is : I got the job.    It was fabulous!

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There is a TTer, name I sadly can't remember, who went to an interview for a job looking after animals, and got mixed up with his German and referred to vergewaltigen instead of, I don't remember, what could it have been? As I remember the story, it didn't go so well for him, and the job was not forthcoming.

 

Haha! 1 for the search function - I didn't remember the story terribly accurately, and here is the actual thread.

 

https://www.toytowngermany.com/forum/topic/250465-confusion-at-a-job-interview/?page=1

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I had an interview when I was with a major German IT-telecoms company, about a year into the job. I had worked my ass off for them and was one of the few who could actually properly work in English, which was the unit language. The interview was with a team that was next to my unit and all arranged by a boss and his friend. It all should have been a simple chat. Instead I walked into a room with 6 guys and an ambush. I was accused of lying while being cross examined on my CV, especially a 1 month country chartered organisational-level professional exchange between the UK and Germany that I had been picked for a year earlier, and my German and character were ridiculed; it got really, really nasty and hostile. They sent some shit feedback back to the current unit that upset the boss and one of them even tried to physically accost me in the canteen a few weeks later. He slammed his tray into mine in the canteen line and tried to shove me after he squashed my fingers by surprise. He was too weak to push me, I simply held him off and laughed at him. After that I don't take any interview for granted. That was one of the worst interviews I ever had. 

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Did you ever find out why the interview went awry? Was there rivalry between the units, did they hate foreigners or what?

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4 hours ago, black1 said:

That was one of the worst interviews I ever had. 

 

I hope you didn't stay with the company much longer? 

I sometimes think my work is a bit like a kindergarten, but yours sounds like bullies on a playground, not to mention highly unprofessional. 

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It seemed to be a problem with the Betriebsrat union guy having a fit about taking on outsiders and also they really really hated that I had been with another German company for only 4 weeks. They just could not accept that it could be anything other than me being kicked out. The they hated my German, disliked that I used online information/intelligence/b/news databases instead of empty sold databases, disliked what I did as a job and did not believe much I had to say. The job they offered was simply to translate German to English technical jobs. My previous job had been a research and intelligence analyst looking at overseas trends, markets, products and companies. Basically both sides in the interview thought that the other was retarded.  Both units no longer exist.

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Once, for a remote job interview (Webex), while waiting for the interviewer, I had to wait some 10min with the recruiter. She noticed that I had a guitar in the background and asked if I could actually play or if it was decoration. Of course I picked the guitar and was very entertained playing the flamenco section of "Innuendo" when the (male) interviewer joined in.

He seemed amused and immediately said something like "wow, I leave you alone with a Portuguese for 10 minutes and he wastes no time!".

I passed that interview, made it to the final short list of candidates, but after 2 more interviews they went with another candidate. :/

 

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When I was a student I interviewed for a summer job pumping petrol at a service station. The manager asked me if I could add up 5s. 8½d and 6s. 6d (it was a pre decimal time) I replied happily yes;), it was only later I realised he had wanted me to give him the actual value of the addition (i.e 12s. 2½d. I got the job anyway.:D

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I was unemployed once and got sent to interview at a hospital kitchen which I was not very interested in getting hired for. I tried my best to come across as a bad candidate but not only did I get hired, I was asked to start right away and to stay late, by myself. 

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When I flew over to Hamburg for an interview with Airbus re English language training for engineers  around 1989 , I actually asked the interviewer “ What’s an Airbus?”😂

I got the job - he thought I was joking! I wasn’t! I hadn’t done any research!

And then a fun time/ career went on for many years!

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Charm and a coy smile evidently go a loooooooong way when you are on the job hunt.

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I can remember going to a 2-day international job fair in Brussels as a graduate where I had an interview planned with a large German car manufacturer. I had the interview with a weird guy who looked at the wall and the ceiling the whole time instead of looking at me. After the interview I complained to his colleagues in the stand and saying "I didn't come all the way from the Netherlands to talk to a guy who is clearly not interested in doing his job and prefers to look at the wall instead."

 

Later on, I understood he didn't do any interviews anymore after that complaint.

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Have had four interviews in the last four weeks, two of them courtesy of the Agentur für Arbeit. (tech weenie for print and prepress with more than a hearty dollop of IT-stuff)

First one at an office printer repair shop, a two man thingy. She, boss lady, 25, blonde, long legs and a grade "A" rack of Charlies. But above all she had...?

...

Naah! I got nothing, you could see the dust bunnies behind her baby blues.

He, was not able to look at me or string a sentence on one breath.

Will I do sales?

What, flog second hand stuff to people without money to buy...?

No!

Interview over.

 

No2..: Entry level job as a keyboard jockey at a printshop two and a half hours away, run by a sour woman with a face as puckered as a dogs arse. That would be like having Bocuse flipping burgers at Ali´s first and best Hamburger shack behind the railway station. Never heard back, thank goodness.

 

Thareee! This one by vitamin B, did the zoomie interview and it went well. But seeing that I haven´t heard from them and can´t call I am not holding my breath.

 

So, amma hoping it´s going to be No4, ticks all the boxes and has the possibility to be the glorious ending to my working life I wanted.

 

At the moment there is no five, so we will see.

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Hopefully not against the spirit of this thread!🙏🏻
NOT how to get a job.. but how to get deliberately fired!

I  was 22 or 23 and a young traveller and ended up in Buenos Aires and a language school called Toil and Chat ( run by an old French and German couple ) was  looking for a native English teacher. I had no idea about teaching but it was maybe a way of earning a peso or two.

No, no idea about immigration rules or taxes or whatever😄

 

Somehow got the job and ended up with a bunch of one-on-one students. Bank employees, engineers, a woman who wanted to visit Europe before she died etc etc..

The students loved me. I was friendly, cute (by the way, I still am😂).

I would torment one particular bank employee every day by asking him to pronounce “ Switzerland.”😜

 

He: “ oh no.” 😟

Many told me: „ John, do you offer private classes? This school is expensive.“

I didn‘t know.. I had no idea about teaching anyway or prices..

Anyway, one day, one guy had an idea. „ How about if you get sacked and can then offer private lessons?“

So, I thought about it and decided to get fired! I turned up at the school on a hot day without a shirt on! I got fired and ended up teaching private lessons. 
😂

 

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1 hour ago, slammer said:

First one at an office printer repair shop, a two man thingy. She, boss lady, 25, blonde, long legs and a grade "A" rack of Charlies.

Had to look up rack of Charlies, but can you PM me her number 😎.

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On 9/16/2020, 12:32:45, dstanners said:

A friend of mine was head of IT at a UK staffing company. He interviewed a Brazilian guy straight off the plane. According to my mate, the interviewee asked when he would find out the result of the interview, and was told it would be next week. The following Monday, my friend was away from the office, and the interviewee turned up. He was under the impression that he had got the job, so he sat down with the rest of the IT guys, and one of them gave him something to do. When my mate turned up the following day, he was too polite/embarrassed to tell the guy he didn’t get the job. 15 years later, I can see from Linkedin that the IT interviewee is no longer in IT: he’s now the Director of that company’s South American operations.

 

I guess a stroke of luck like that only happens when the interviewer is a British public school type with an inbuilt aversion to “making a scene”.

 

What's your friend doing now? Actually probably best we don't know :lol:

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13 hours ago, pmd said:

What's your friend doing now?

Well, we're still in touch, and he's been a client of mine for almost ten years. Of course, it's quite possible he's disgusted with the quality of my work, but he's too embarrassed to tell me. Suffice to say he's never been late paying an invoice.

 

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