Help for a disabled friend of my son.

[Metall 14,513]

There is supported living for the handicapped, you just have to get the attention of the authorities! Talk to the VdK!

[Namu 706]

30 minutes ago, optimista said:

Devil's advocate here. You do not know all the details. She's been dealing with her son 19 long years. At first sight, shocking, yeah. But for a mother to disappear and leave him without a key? There is a reason for that no doubt.

 

And you deserve a medal by the way.

30 minutes ago, optimista said:

 

 

Maybe he even has a key but doesn't want to stay home alone?

 

I would not get too involved in this without knowing the story on the other side.

[optimista 5,839]

She's had no choice being presented with a fait accompli. But yes, circumspection required.

[pappnase 2,571]

38 minutes ago, optimista said:

Devil's advocate here. You do not know all the details. She's been dealing with her son 19 long years. At first sight, shocking, yeah. But for a mother to disappear and leave him without a key? There is a reason for that no doubt.

 

I'm sure you are right, I don't know all the details, in fact I know very little about his family background at all, but I can see that this is hurting him right now. I'm not going to tell him what I think of his mum, I'm going to support him in whatever he decides, but in order to be able to do that I have to understand the system a bit and know what the choices and options are.

That's where this thread comes in and it's been a real help, so again thanks all of you.

[pappnase 2,571]

Right, so I've had a bit of a chance to talk to him some more about this just now. He's been apparently been talking to the  JobCenter  for a while and you are totally right they don't want to believe him and his mum is fighting it.

I've shared the link to slbremen and he is going to reach out to them for some help.

 

Meantime I've let him know that if he needs a place to shelter he can always come to us, and that we will do what we can to help.

I don't think anything is going to happen quickly, but we've talked about the importance of documenting stuff and so if he needs to stay again we will make sure to keep a record of when and why in case it helps going forward.

Thanks again all of you for your help, it's allowed me to get to the place I needed to be without placing any extra pressure on my son or his friend, which is all I wanted.

 

I'll update if anything changes.

[Metall 14,513]

You, sir, are an unsung hero. Thank you.

[pappnase 2,571]

So I know you guys like an update, and I have some news.

At the start of the month, he started a job with a local engineering firm, and he's really enjoying it.

Two of their friends are looking for a new member for their WG and so he has been staying with them for a while as a 'mate' and when he starts getting paid he will move in there full time.

So all things considered it's looking like things are going quite well.

In other news, 'Friend' turned out to be 'boyfriend', apparently my son and his friend have been dating for a while and that was another source of friction at home, and a reason why he was staying here quite as often as he was :).

 

So I think for the moment things are looking up.

 

Thanks again for all your help and advice.

 

 

[lunaCH 972]

32 minutes ago, pappnase said:

At the start of the month, he started a job with a local engineering firm, and he's really enjoying it.

Two of their friends are looking for a new member for their WG and so he has been staying with them for a while as a 'mate' and when he starts getting paid he will move in there full time. So all things considered it's looking like things are going quite well.

In other news, 'Friend' turned out to be 'boyfriend', apparently my son and his friend have been dating for a while and that was another source of friction at home, and a reason why he was staying here quite as often as he was :). So I think for the moment things are looking up.

What a beautiful post.