Separated, and husband wont let me stay

38 posts in this topic

11 minutes ago, lilyluv said:

this is my life. I want to live and work in germany.  I took 3 yrs of german and integration course. ITs always been my dream to live in germany and get out of us. i have been living in europe for the past 11 yrs. It is a big thing for me

 

The global pandemic is a big thing for everyone else.

 

You don't have a job, savings, nor a place to live. Does your husband have a good job? Do you have any skills that are needed in Germany? How well do you speak German? Do you have an NE?

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Metall said:

 

If husband wants you to sign papers so badly, he has to pay for your flight, accommodation in Germany, cost of living. Preferably a lump sum up front.

 

By the way, what papers? I would be very very suspicious of anythng HE wants you to sign. It will be in legal German and you might not understand what you are signing AWAY (alimony and other rights come to mind).

 

 

I suspect it is Versorgungsausgleich. Maybe he wants you to renounce your rights to pension payments once you both retire. My ex-husband asked me to do this and I did, but I knew what it was about and I agreed, because he had supported me all through my studies and enabled me to put down roots in Germany. 
Be careful.

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yes, he has a great job, he is a civil servant. I dont know if I have special skills, I can teach english, take care of kids, some admin/freelance experience. I have ID# for work

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4 minutes ago, lilyluv said:

yes, he has a great job, he is a civil servant. I dont know if I have special skills, I can teach english, take care of kids, some admin/freelance experience. I have ID# for work

 

I think they are asking what your visa status is. 

 

Be advised that if you didn't work before the separation, you are not expected to find a job until a year in.  You should really try to scrape the money together to get a lawyer to get the trennungsunterhalt going asap.

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Any professional qualifications? If you have to apply for a new visa, then you may need to show these.

No visa expert here, but you have given little info on your status/visa.

 

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20 minutes ago, lilyluv said:

yes, he has a great job, he is a civil servant.

 

Then talk to him about Metall's suggestion regarding sending you the money.

 

Quote

I dont know if I have special skills, I can teach english, take care of kids, some admin/freelance experience. I have ID# for work

 

Although you are entitled to Trennungsunterhalt, you probably won't get much (if any) alimony after the divorce.   Based on what you've posted, you are wrongly skilled for the German job market and will probably have a very difficult time making ends meet (the global pandemic will probably result in a global recession). I really don't think you should count on teaching English to support yourself based on what you've written. 

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i heard that if a non eu citizen is married for 2 years and then separates they can extend visa atomatically.

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you heard wrong.  No visa is "automatically" extended, for anyone, ever.

 

In Germany, you are first eligible to apply for an NE after three years of marriage to a German citizen.

 

I agree with engelchen above that you are probably lacking the skills needed for the German job market (and definitely those needed to teach English).  Not that I think that will stop you from posting here, though.

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as far as I know, you can contest the divorce for up to three years.  I do know that when I applied for my NE my husband had to come with me.  So if you're not on that level of chumminess with the ex, I don't know what'll happen.  Best thing would be to check with the ABH, but again--not right now.  Why are so many people so hot on picking up and moving to the other side of the world and starting endless piles of paperwork when nobody is in the offices due to literally everyone on earth being in the middle of a public health crisis??

 

and, as I expected, us telling you that you're not likely to get a job, won't stop you from writing here about it.  If you are so confident about it, take out a small personal loan, rent an Air B n B, and just hit the pavement.  But if your husband isn't interested in helping you out, I wouldn't rely on getting any outside help from anyone else and there's not much we can do for you either.  You will have to work this one out on your own.  If you are very resourceful (and don't try to teach English) maybe you will find a way.  If you are looking for someone to hold your hand and do all your research for you, I'm afraid you're going to wind up very frustrated and defeated.  Real talk, mama.

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11 minutes ago, dessa_dangerous said:

as far as I know, you can contest the divorce for up to three years.  I do know that when I applied for my NE my husband had to come with me.  So if you're not on that level of chumminess with the ex, I don't know what'll happen.

 

It is also a criminal offence to lie to the authorities in order to help a foreigner obtain a permit under false pretenses and the verbeamtete ex would be really stupid if he went along with it.

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There seems to be a lot missing in this story. I also think that there are so many English Teachers here that you would struggle with that line of work especially because your English doesn't sound too great to be honest. Maybe you can tell us a bit more and then some real advice might be given. As Engelchen has said... she's right. 

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8 hours ago, McDee said:

 I also think that there are so many English Teachers here that you would struggle with that line of work .

 

Not only is there a global pandemic currently raging but this is causing a significant economic turndown the likes of which we have not seen for a very long time.

With schools closed & many industries cutting back on non-essentials I doubt if there will be many jobs going for new English teachers & as for self-employed IMHO that is rather illusionary.

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