German man in a relationship but shows interest in another girl

63 posts in this topic

omg now I can't stop. 

 

we had to go to a conference and against his doctor's advice, he decided to attend even though he'd undergone a vasectomy just two days before we flew.

 

of course he had some problems after standing in our booth and walking around so much the first day as this was precisely the kind of activity he had been advised against...what to do?  He was desperate to have someone have a look (legitimately - he was really suffering and scared) but didn't want to spend half the night in an emergency room unless it seemed really necessary.  So we started making the rounds, looking for volunteers. Absolutely none of the guys were willing, and we women felt pretty conflicted about it for obvious reasons.  Finally one of our lesbian teammates stepped up and did the deed.  Her rationale was that it was the least risky choice for all involved (from a work perspective - no way to imagine shady intent on either side) but damn, she was scarred for life after seeing it.  She came out of his room, eyes bugging out...it was bad.  BAD.

 

So guys, listen to your doc's advice if you have a vasectomy.    

 

that is all.

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6 hours ago, inNRW said:
Now I don’t know what to do. I need advice on how to handle this situation. 
Is the effort he made to be in the same group with me a gesture of showing interest or just trying to be friendly after his relationship status was ‘revealed’. Should I ‘chase’ him as the first guy suggested? And, I noticed that German guys only throw out ‘hints’ but never do any chasing.
What do you guys expect a girl to do the ‘chasing'? It just feels so awkward if I just walk up to him and ask him out — especially with that awkward face and a girlfriend staring from behind! 

 

If he'll do it to other girls, he'll do it to you. With respect, what makes you think you're any different? Have some self respect, future you will thank you!

 

I don't think there's anything particularly 'German' about this. If true, it's just blatant liars thinking with their dicks feeding you whatever nonsense it takes to get some side action. I'd keep far away from such scum and maybe question why it is you keep gravitating towards these sorts of losers. All that glitters isn't gold.

 

1 hour ago, john g. said:

I´ve known plenty of people who met their partners, wives, husbands etc at their workplace. Why not?

 

I think it's generally good advice to avoid mixing business and pleasure, but there can be exceptions. I even know a few married-with-kids couples who even started out as teacher-student relationships. 

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For all the fact-checkers: 

Somehow my profile says "Male" and a different location, maybe because that place starts with double A ? 

I never put anything there -- in case you guys wonder :) 

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7 hours ago, generalmartok said:

If you know he is seeing someone, why would you care if he is interested in you or not? No you should not effing "chase" a guy already in another relationship.

 

And with regards to him, he sounds like a scum bag. A bag of scum.

 

And I think you might be here just to troll.

Thanks, that's what I thought, got a bit confused when the second one came up. 

If I were trolling, I must be good at making up stories ;) 

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4 minutes ago, fraufruit said:

So go to your profile and change it.

Thanks, but nevermind. 

I think part of the purpose of chatting on a forum is to avoid judging people by the place, gender or other things. 

But maybe I'm missing the point. 

Good rant, anyway :) 

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If you say that someone rants, you mean that they talk loudly or angrily, and exaggerate or say foolish things.

 

I just suggested that you change your profile since it is incorrect. I have not called you a troll or anything else.

 

Many times on this forum when people ask questions, it is very helpful to know the city location in order to give better and more exact advice. Gender is irrelevant although yours was made obvious in your first post.

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15 hours ago, fraufruit said:

 

I just suggested that you change your profile since it is incorrect. I have not called you a troll or anything else.

 

Many times on this forum when people ask questions, it is very helpful to know the city location in order to give better and more exact advice. Gender is irrelevant although yours was made obvious in your first post.

 

I think she was talking about her own rant ie: original post.  I also think she was preemptively pointing out the other faults in her profile to avoid further accusations.  And it is pretty funny that someone called her out on the Irish vs Chinese thing, but not on the male vs female thing :)

 

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It's funny that I was asking about culture/dating questions, and it becomes something about rant or not rant, my profile and identify, 50 shades of co-workers ... 

Who is actually trolling here? 

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And if I change the first sentence to: "I am a foreigner working/living in Germany..." and I want to ask about German culture. 

Would people then start to read what actually happened? 

 

I find this situation weird, too, that's why I put it here to ask, what's wrong with that?

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1 minute ago, lisa13 said:

Have you not perused the site before?

 

I'd guess not if this is a surprise to you ;)

 

It's my first time posting here.  

But I start to see your point. LOL 

 

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1 minute ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

Are you looking for a relationship or a one night stand?

Proper relationship -- but it seems too early to ask for that at this stage. 

So I am asking what to do now.

If I choose to ignore it, I'm afraid he might get offended (like the first guy) and we become hostile, that's bad. I want to let him know what I think in a less aggressive way, to see if there is a chance. 

What I think is that, since there is a mutual attraction, I don't want to just throw it away. But I am not going to go any further in this ambiguous weird situation. I hope he could at least make it clearer about his situation. 

 

 

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13 minutes ago, inNRW said:

Proper relationship -- but it seems too early to ask for that at this stage. 

So I am asking what to do now.

If I choose to ignore it, I'm afraid he might get offended (like the first guy) and we become hostile, that's bad. I want to let him know what I think in a less aggressive way, to see if there is a chance. 

What I think is that, since there is a mutual attraction, I don't want to just throw it away. But I am not going to go any further in this ambiguous weird situation. I hope he could at least make it clearer about his situation. 

 

 

 

Can you handle losing your social circle? Can you make new friends?

 

If this all goes tits up then that is what you will have to do.

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There's a saying. You loose them the same way you get them. So wrench him out of an ongoing relationship and be prepared that there are way more single ladies out there pouncing on a guy in a relationship. So once you are old news you'll likely be exchanged in just the same manner. If he is interested he will have to get his ducks in line before moving on with a new relationship. Look for a serious guy not being in a relationship (but depending on age may have baggage attached in form of prior wives and maybe kids).

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✌
 
23 minutes ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

Can you handle losing your social circle? Can you make new friends?

 

If this all goes tits up then that is what you will have to do.

 

I'll chew on that. 

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15 minutes ago, Wherearewegoingto said:

There's a saying. You loose them the same way you get them. So wrench him out of an ongoing relationship and be prepared that there are way more single ladies out there pouncing on a guy in a relationship. So once you are old news you'll likely be exchanged in just the same manner. If he is interested he will have to get his ducks in line before moving on with a new relationship. Look for a serious guy not being in a relationship (but depending on age may have baggage attached in form of prior wives and maybe kids).

 

Which age group do I have a better chance to find single and serious guys (in Germany)? -- if that's a valid question :) 

 

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