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True Confessions

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My earliest memory for a confession (the list is LONG since then ) is  of just before Christmas and i was about 6 and I opened my sister´s Christmas presents in the cupboard, looked at them,unwrapped one of them and  took a doll´s legs and arms off and tried to put them together again.I did..but clumsily with some glue or something.

Forget if it was Dad or Mum but I was told off at some stage because it was obviously clumsy me!!!

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OK. I was about 5 yrs. old. My mom had bought some packets of pre-sweetened Kool Aid. She normally bought the ones where you add sugar. One of my friends had given me a taste. I stole a packet out of the kitchen cabinet and headed outside. Mom asked me where I was going and I ran away into the woods. She didn't chase me - things were safe back then. I returned a while later and she asked me where I had been. My tongue and mouth were totally red so I had to confess. As far as I remember, there was no punishment.

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..and about a year later..my Dad and Uncle Ted had just built a conservatory full of window panes in the garden for flowers and stuff. Me and younger brother Ted promptly got our cricket bats and smashed every pane. Dunno why but I remember it. We ran away.Dad tried to run out of the house to catch us but ha had arthritis so gave up.

We returned home about half an hour later and he said NOTHING! NOTHING! No words, no punishments.

My Dad hardly spoke anyway.

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my urge is to recount lots of stories that aren't really confessions as I was found out/busted pretty much immediately

 

things I was never busted for:

 

masturbating (not a sin but I think everyone has a fear of getting caught in the act)

 

doing just about every drug known to man.  I remember once I was in my limnology class in uni, and our prof exclaimed "what the hell is wrong with you guys? it's like you're all asleep".  One person piped up to say we were all burnt from studying for midterms, and I threw in "yeah and some of us are just smoking too much crack" Ohhhhhh! hahahahahahaha! all around.  But it was true (for me) :ph34r:  No one outside my circle of druggie friends had any clue - I was a good student, took care of my responsibilities, no suspicion was ever raised.  I was lucky in that I grew bored with any single drug long before I could get hooked.  I thank my lucky stars for having a short attention span

 

driving drunk (still hate myself for that - never did it again but once is all it takes to end or ruin lives)

 

when I lived at a tibetan buddhist teaching center (in NY, not in Tibet) our khenpo admitted once in the course of a lesson that he had fantasies about having piles of jewels and precious metals, not for the wealth, but because they are just so pretty.  My mom dabbled in jewelry making so I asked her if I could pick out a few stones for him.  I assembled quite the sparkly collection, packed them in a little box, and snuck into the dining room before breakfast one day so I could leave them at his seat.  He opened the box and his normally measured and calm expression lit up like a kid on christmas.  He was giggling and wide eyed and just enthralled, rolling the stones around in his hand and inspecting every one in the light.  "Who left this?! who?!"  no one knew and no one ever found out :)  

 

 

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Confession: don´t know what limnology is, lisa!

:lol::lol:

Drugs: same as you. Did a lot in my youth but didn´t drink alcohol (hardly ) or smoke ciggies. I was a good student at Uni. In fact, so good...this is Zeitgeist..but one of our Profs held tutoring at her home sometimes ( ours wasn´t a huge class ) and we and she smoked dope there.

Greatest confession: ( well, for a few minutes ): beating the system!

That included: getting into the US on a week´s visa but staying 7 months and leaving the US TWICE and coming back without getting grabbed. First was going to Tijuana with American friends for dinner and coming back to the border guards. They stopped my friend´s car and his mum was American but a chicana (as they said in those days ) and she was questioned and I just put on an American accent and looked hippy-ish. Got away with it.

 

Another time: hitchhiked out of the States to Canada and back to the US ( on the SAME one week visa ) and an elderly US couple took pity on me and I explained and they told the border guards something like " isn´t our grandson lovely ? "

Got away with it.

 

PLUS: drove once on a US highway in Florida without a driving licence with some American hippies who were stoned..but even then one of them awoke from his slumber and said: " what you doing, man ? " and took over the wheel.

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7 minutes ago, john g. said:

Confession: don´t know what limnology is, lisa!

 

it's the study of freshwater ecosystems

 

great class. we got to go on several expeditions to inspect conditions and collect specimens.  Any class that requires the use of chest waders?  sign me up :) 

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Freshwater ecosytems! Ah, can´t beat that! But reminds me of when I couldn´t admit to my weakness! I couldn´t swim.

First example: aged around 18, I was in Bonn and ended up at a swimming pool with some guys. I was trying to impress some unknown Fräulein and jumped in. A German friend spotted it and saved me.

 

MANY years later...I was in Buenos Aires, Argentina but had been in Brazil and had met a girl there at the beach. We never swam or whatever but she fed me (long story ) every day there and anyway..I left and hitchhiked to Argentina. Met Susana there..Argentine and we got together. BUT I kept writing to the Brazilian girl, Sueli.

She was always in my mind.

AND I thought--oh, if I go back to Brazil and the beach and I can´t swim, she won´t be impressed. So I had swimming classes in Buenos Aires.

 

So, went back to Brazil and told Susana we will meet again soon but have to travel a bit and met Sueli again at the beach and..it turned out she couldn´t swim!

Ok, a week or so later, Susana actually arrived at the beach in Rio and caught me and Sueli together on the beach..oh shit.

 

Aftermath: years later ( I stayed on in Brazil ), Sueli and I got married.

Worse: even later, in London, at UCL (my university ), I walked into the wrong room and...Susana was there...to study psychology..she was an Anglophile, by the way. Always loved England but had never been there and the reason I became an English teacher there on her advice. We said hello and I slank away embarrassed.

 

Moral of the story: accept your weaknesses and don´t be ashamed to admit them. Don´t be afraid of that. And examine your childhood memories...that is what happened at an early age. There is a reason you have them.

 

I hope she has had a good life. She was lovely and young and I was an example of an unfaithful man. Maybe she specialised in " unfaithful men " in her studies later.

Karma awaits me.

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I must have been around 4/5/6 when I took a ballpoint pen to my mum's sheepskin coat. She had to get a whole panel replaced. :unsure:

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Drunk driving - raising my hand.

 

Experimenting with all drugs except heroin, crack (didn't exist) and meth. I did use pharmaceutical speed, though. Thought I was being smart.

 

It is true that our brains don't come in until our mid 20's or later.

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there is something to be said for pharmaceutical grade anything, which is the dosing is consistent.  That's the greatest danger with illicit drugs I think:  you're accustomed to a certain dose and you get an especially strong batch...bam.  emergency room or worse.

 

I was very anal retentive about reading up on drugs, dosages, interactions, warning signs of overdose etc...pre internet no less!  Still didn't prevent me from drinking a bit too much vodka after taking some valium.  Holy hell, I could not SEE.  I remember walking in the middle of the street as at least I could kinda see the boundaries.  Sidewalk was a complete no-go as I kept bumping into picket fences and rose bushes and such.  This was at around 5:30 on a friday evening mind.  Somehow made it home...went to my room...ugh!  something stank to high heaven.  "JEFFFF!  (brother) what is that horrible smell?!"  "ohhh...it looks like the dog puked"  "but WHERE IS IT?!?!"  "what is wrong with you? it's right at your feet - you're practically standing in it!"  

 

PSA:  don't mix valium with vodka.  

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10 hours ago, lisa13 said:

 

PSA:  don't mix valium with vodka.  

 

 

I had a similar experience after drinking a fair amount of scumpy cider, did not need the valium. On my way home I took a shortcut through a wooded alley that ran near where I lived, went into the bushes to answer a call of nature, but on finishing I found it impossible to see anything darker than the globes on the street lights. After crashing around and falling over a couple of times I was rescued and helped home by a neighbour who was out taking his dog for a late walk. At this time I was a regular cider drinker but following this experience I switched to beer.:rolleyes:

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I was 18 and had never drunk alcohol before ( honest to God ) but was in Bonn on my own and I saw a Kneipe and went in. I thought to myself- I wonder what German beer tastes like.

Some locals were in there watching a football match on the telly.

After my second beer, I not only needed to answer a call of nature but I staggered around as I went to find the loo.

I stopped in front of the TV screen and grabbed onto the TV to steady my tipsy self.

Just as I was doing that, a bunch of men in the Kneipe started shouting and swearing at me—„ aus dem Weg, Du Arsch „ and similar.

Why?

Because at that very moment a player scored a goal and I was blocking their view!

??

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2 minutes ago, john g. said:

I was 18 and had never drunk alcohol before ( honest to God ) ...

 

 

My first taste of alcohol came at the age of 13 months (apparently)!

It was my parents wedding day, so my relatives said "we will make sure he sleeps well for you tonight"  and game me some alcohol to drink.

 

Apparently it made me hyperactive, and I spent most of the night jumping up and down in my cot!

 

 

The first time I can remember was at a family party.  I was I think about 10/11 and at the time was allowed to drink very weak shandy (Radler).  But, somebody got the drinks mixed up and a few times I got my Grandad's half of beer, and he got my half of Shandy!  Neither realised it until it became obvious that I was quite tipsy and was struggling to walk straight!

 

 

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When reading this I feel really old and boring.  I never experimented with illegal drugs, did not even smoke, in fact I even don't do coffee. Wildest I get is 2 glasses of wine after which I am too drunk to be able to drink more. Probably then asleep under the table.? Do I have to take my coat now and leave this forum for obviously not beeing wild enough?

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15 minutes ago, Wherearewegoingto said:

When reading this I feel really old and boring.  I never experimented with illegal drugs, did not even smoke, in fact I even don't do coffee. Wildest I get is 2 glasses of wine after which I am too drunk to be able to drink more. Probably then asleep under the table.? Do I have to take my coat now and leave this forum for obviously not beeing wild enough?

 

Don't worry. 

I also always stayed away from trying drugs.  Hate smoking with a passion because both my parents smoked when I was a kid, so there was never any chance I would try that.  And I also hate coffee.  In the past even the smell would turn my stomach, although I can tolerate that fine now.

 

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Wherearewegoingto said:

When reading this I feel really old and boring.  I never experimented with illegal drugs, did not even smoke, in fact I even don't do coffee. Wildest I get is 2 glasses of wine after which I am too drunk to be able to drink more. Probably then asleep under the table.? Do I have to take my coat now and leave this forum for obviously not beeing wild enough?

Nooooo it's not a contest

 

Just an opportunity to confess something. 

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First job after Uni. (Early 1980's)

Pay not great, but  I can afford to live, pay rent and such.

 

Some months in, a company with whom I'd had an interview finally replied with an offer.

30% more than I'm getting. (Hiring freeze now ended)

 

I tell the boss, he's not please but knows I'll go as he can't match this new offer.

 

What am I confessing ?

I start the 130% job and during the first 3  months...

the old company continues to pay me their salary too.

 

I never owned up to the first company.

 

After all, if you're writing payroll software, you're not wanting to advertise 

errors like this now, are you?

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