Jokes

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I made a face mask for my pet duck, nothing fancy ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... but it fits the bill.

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On 25.6.2020, 13:02:43, hooperski said:

I made a face mask for my pet duck, nothing fancy ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... but it fits the bill.


Could you please change your picture? Donald would be preferable.

 

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On 25.6.2020, 13:02:43, hooperski said:

I made a face mask for my pet duck, nothing fancy ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... but it fits the bill.

 

@hooperski : You're baaack!! \o/

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Why is every American receiving a $1,200 cheque?

 

Because Trump always pays off the people he's fucked. 

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A journalist was visiting a convent on the German/Polish border afer the end of the 2nd world war. He asked the mother superior to tell him about her experiences. Sh asked some of the other nuns to join her for the interview.

 

"Well, it was very turbulent for us. First the Germans came through and they ravaged all the nuns in the convent".

A little voice from the back:

"All except sister Mary".

"Oh yes. I forgot about her. Thank you for reminding me.

Later, the Russians came through and they ravaged all the nuns again".

"Don't forget about sister Mary, They didn't ravage her!"

"Quite right sister. How forgetful of me".

 

The jounalist was intrigued and asked,

 

"Was sister Mary not very attracive then?"

 

"Oh no. Not at all. But she wasn't really terribly keen on that kind of thing, you know".

 

 

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A young doctor moved out to Dunbeath  to replace a doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the bin. That was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?”
“I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the minister under the bed

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