Friends/Family/Support/Leihoma/Help/Activity/Babysitting

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I know this is a point of risking to shoot in the air, but I am gonna give it a go as it can not stop lingering in my head. Also as I am certain my chances of being succeful at it are so slim, as that Is the lifestyle here in Munich.Also to clarify, I have checked topics and I cannot seem to find something related to this, so i created a new topic.

It is difficult or even close to impossible to find a family(as an expat, I mean friends to talk to, have fun as family lives away), apart from getting involved in several activities, that may not suit your schedlue, especially if you are a parent, and even when you get involved in these activities, chances of making connections that can actually become slim are so low as everyone is caged into themselves, leave alone leave right after the activities with no connecting. I have been in Mother-Baby meet-ups but women fail to open up or socailise with each others and keep themselves busy, I have joined Gym, yoga, meditation classes and a rückbildungskurs, where everyone would just pick up they bags to leave right after the activity.. So I find it both fake and unnatural,, and really difficult to create like minded connections. Or a friendship that has a chemistry where you can have fun together and talk and laugh about stuff, and be able to open up, and not lock up feelings. The only chance I had was one day I was loast and wandering at Marienplatz with my baby, and an old lady was observing me, so she invited me for tea, and we kept contact- I myself am very careful at who I open up to, though I am very open, fun, and can strike a conversation when someone else gives the same, but imagine striking conversations with people who wont come out of their cage to be expressive, which are mainly the acquaintances i have here_and Oh, we meet every other five months, even when they live less than 10minutes from me, and surely that is if i have opened up to invite them. It is such a buggage. Anyway, with this old lady we connected and we are such great friends, unfortunately, she lives in Düsseldorf. She visits me sometimes and I see that she would be such great help right from having someone to talk to, to someone who helps you with the kids, to some bit of houseworks, or even doing your housework, making dinner, while someone else is chilling in your sitting with the kids(Now you got not to be bothered by children).

Why not a Babysitter? I find this whole concept of Babysitters eeehhhmmm... Somehow, I dont think I can manage a whole life long paying 15 euros and hour to a babysitter to go have a night out at a party while she chilling on my couch watching Netflix, My children are such great sleepers in the night, and not much work during the day. Also I would like to create a relationship with someone before I bring them into my childrens life, I need to know them, and to be able to really trust them, and I need to be sure they are staying. So i have a big issue hiring babysitters.

 

What´s my point?

 

My point is I am looking for something like a Godmother, LeihOma, a friend, Family friend, a woman/Family that wishes too have the excitement of kids around them for sometime(This is definitely not something constant-So I am not looking for someone to load the buggage of my kids with): But to get together, have dinnes together, I cook for you in my home, in your home, we help each other.

 

The idea is more of godparents. A chosen adult who genuinely goes out of their way to make a child special..Oh it sucks to have a home away from home, with no family or freinds(Now I have come to write about this, as a group of women into which I am seem to all be struggling with the same, from having no physical, emotional help and no one to talk to,, to having it difficult to create freinds. Its also very surprising that we have failed to come together to find out own tribes-Probably because everyone is busy with their jobs, and Kids, or because it is the structure of the life here? No Idea) So can I am looking to find someone who can fulfill that special role. A God parent and a friend of sorts. My family and all friends live in Uganda, and since I moved here 4 years ago, I just have failed to make friends, or create my own tribe. I mean, I know some people, but I mean,they either do not get in touch, are so busy, or the friendship is that smothered friendship of "Oooh I am so fine, all is well..." even when you see them on the verge of breaking down, and genervt from taking care of the kids. You ask, if you need help, let me know, non reaches out even when they clearly need the help, so that closes out the chances of creating a tribe.

 

I have so often wished it were possible and easy to make friends here, but unfortunately it is all way different from where i come from, and I have come to accept the difference. I have so wished to have a grown up woman structure in my life, currently that I have children and doing everything by myself.  I've thought maybe I could volunteer at senior home and meet some nice old folks looking for grandkids there. It would be funny if there were family finding sites like dating sites, but that would probably open up a whole new set of complications, to which are actually available,, but they all come with a price, That I am even avoiding. I am so happy to volunteer, help back, do roles in return, but I also wish for something deeper than a babysitter. Well, Off I shoot my letter in the airrrrr haha.

 

And Oh, I am 30, currently separated from ex husband, with two children of 4 and 2 years. Girl and Boy, who are very very very sweet and adorable.

 

I am happy about any kind of contribution and feedback,

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