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What is the least diplomatic question you have ever been asked?

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We all know humans are silly and I am high up on the list but..in a taverna here, and the owner didn´t know us from Adam, the owner actually saw us sit down, came up to us, saw my partner Nicole and said " kalispera! How old are you? "

Nicole had the right answer: " I´m timeless and you? " That shut him up.

I am surely equally guilty of such inappropriate getting-to-know-you faux pas. 67 years old multiplied by 365 days a year.

 

Fire away!

 

OR what is the shittiest question you have ever asked a stranger?

:D

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ugh.  I think the most insensitive question I was ever asked came from my sister in law when I went to visit my brother on the cusp of my ex and I splitting up.  Note I simply could not eat for many weeks so I had lost quite a bit of weight and she KNEW this:

 

"wow you're so skinny!  what is your secret?  I want to try it!!!"

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Insensitive, yes, but for many people that's the default line you use as a compliment when someone has noticeably lost weight.

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yes I would agree if she had no clue whatsoever what was going on, but she did know.  Very much so.

 

I also recall witnessing a person asking a cancer patient a similar question (they didn't know, but that was also an ouchie)  At this point I never ask people about significant weight loss.  I wait til they bring it up.    

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A British guest in Portugal. Picked him up from the airport, I was probably one of the first Portuguese that he got to know.

Drove him to a fancy restaurant. After half an hour inside, he asked me "Why are the waiters whiter than you?".

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On 8/11/2019, 8:55:31, john g. said:

What is the shittiest question you have ever asked a stranger?

 

Are you pregnant? She wasn't...:wacko: Never. Again.

 

A man asked me quite seriously if I was past the menopause... many years ago. No points scored that day.

 

A man at the airport asked me to lift my shirt (in full view of an audience) so he could waft his metal detector around my post-partal, spreading midriff. I will never forgive him.

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More than once when I traveled to the US and arrived at my parent's house completely jet lagged yet glad to be there, my mom would swing the door open and ask, "You've put on a little weight, haven't you?" Mind you, I weighed the exact same as last time. Never could figure out what her purpose was.

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I don't know why people feel compelled nor justified in randomly commenting on someone else's weight, ever.  It's just not necessary.

 

Obviously if you are close to someone and suspect an eating disorder or something in that direction, a serious conversation could be in order.  But not just some random comment.

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"Oh, but surely she's going to lose weight before the wedding!!" Turns to me: "Right?" 

 

Ok, got another one: "So when is the baby due?" He's six months old, you moron. Didn't say the last one out loud, but I think my face said it anyway.  

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My friend's mother, Janet, had a sister whose husband's name is Chet.  The sisters called each other daily and were getting up in age.  One morning Janet called her sister and asked, "How are you?"

The sister replied, "I'm fine, Chet's dead".

Chet had died in his sleep that night.

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A colleage of mine went back to the States on vacation after living a few years in Germany. She called on her sister and saw her niece at the house who had grown up in the meantime. She looked at her and said, " Wow! You are SO GROSS!!"

The poor girl ran away and wasn't seen again for the rest of her stay.

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On 8/12/2019, 12:12:55, fraufruit said:

my mom would swing the door open and ask, "You've put on a little weight, haven't you?"

 

I had lost twenty pounds and weighed 135 at 5'4" when my mother - who was always after me to diet -  greeted me with a kiss and, 'You'll feel better after you've washed your face.'

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My God..just remembered something I once said...

When I was 20, my US buddy Armenio and his wife Louise put me up at their place in LA for several months and Louise treated me like a son..great food, kindness..all of it.

About 10 years later, Louise was still in LA but Armenio was working in Colorado--long story but I got a Laker flight to LA from London and then the plan  was to hitchhike to Colorado (which happened ). Louise picked me up at the airport and my first words to her? " Wow, you look fat and old."

I really said that and regret it to this day. She was wise enough ( I think ) to know I was just really dumb after a long flight.

We phoned about five years ago when my buddy Armenio died and , this time, I was not so dumb. We both cried over the phone. We shared a loss. And I told her I had loved her for my time there. 

 

I wish I´d had a better family background. I identified only with surrogate mothers ( there were others ) but was too dumb to be able to express it emotionally more....diplomatically. 

 

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