Difference when you dress up and down

238 posts in this topic

5 minutes ago, slammer said:

Ok, as a rather tall guy myself I can let you in on a secret.

**hushed tones**

It´s not that we find you interesting per-se, it´s because we are using our hight advantage to try and look down your cleavage. And that is best done in summer.

We tall guys kinda like that.

 

My dresses never show any cleavage, to your disappointment. I never wear revealing dress.

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8 minutes ago, SpiderPig said:

But this isnt a book... just TT click-bait...

 

Literature was meant to be read a sarcasm. 

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11 minutes ago, SmurfLee said:

 

My dresses never show any cleavage, to your disappointment.

If you look similar to my petite female Asian colleagues (Thai, Singaporean, Chinese and Indonesian), then there is no cleavage to show 👻.

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52 minutes ago, SmurfLee said:

 

The point I am saying, how people treat you differently based on your appearance. 

 

yes, amen to this ;)

I am tall for a woman my age - 5'9" - and I used to be "cute" (in the guys' heads turning way, not just in summer), because I thought that's what you have to be, if you want to be successful.

 

Wrong!

 

To be successful, you have to be respected, or better still, admired, for everything you are - not just based on the season and the clothes you wear. When you work in a field that is dominated by men - especially in the early days, back when I started in I.T. in 1978 - being "cute" means you make coffee, answer the phone, take meeting minutes, and run errands for the guys.

 

Once I realized how this works, I started using the "dress for success" mantra to my advantage.

I cut my hair short. Ditched all make-up. Bought most of my clothes, especially shoes, in the guys' department. Started wearing neck ties in the office. Took up swimming to widen my shoulders. Practiced walking with firm, long strides. Made sure I spoke with a decicive, deep voice - never saying "maybe we should...".

 

Ha! It worked like a charm.

 

I am successful (and enjoying it!) in my career, and people (of both genders) come to me for personal and/or professional advice, they call me a "genius", they say "how come you know so much about everything". I am happily married, have a beautiful (no, not cute at all) grown-up daughter, and still get obvious attempts from guys young enough to be my grandson to "hook up" (which I find amusing).

 

So, yes, most definitely, the way you dress will make people treat you differently. Use that to your advantage!

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29 minutes ago, karin_brenig said:

 

yes, amen to this ;)

I am tall for a woman my age - 5'9" - and I used to be "cute" (in the guys' heads turning way, not just in summer), because I thought that's what you have to be, if you want to be successful.

 

Wrong!

 

To be successful, you have to be respected, or better still, admired, for everything you are - not just based on the season and the clothes you wear. When you work in a field that is dominated by men - especially in the early days, back when I started in I.T. in 1978 - being "cute" means you make coffee, answer the phone, take meeting minutes, and run errands for the guys.

 

Once I realized how this works, I started using the "dress for success" mantra to my advantage.

I cut my hair short. Ditched all make-up. Bought most of my clothes, especially shoes, in the guys' department. Started wearing neck ties in the office. Took up swimming to widen my shoulders. Practiced walking with firm, long strides. Made sure I spoke with a decicive, deep voice - never saying "maybe we should...".

 

Ha! It worked like a charm.

 

I am successful (and enjoying it!) in my career, and people (of both genders) come to me for personal and/or professional advice, they call me a "genius", they say "how come you know so much about everything". I am happily married, have a beautiful (no, not cute at all) grown-up daughter, and still get obvious attempts from guys young enough to be my grandson to "hook up" (which I find amusing).

 

So, yes, most definitely, the way you dress will make people treat you differently. Use that to your advantage!

 

What you are saying are all true, and I believe you are a very successful woman.

But we are talking about 2 different aspects. You are talking about success, I am talking about how to be more likable person.

And appearance is just one of factors to be likable, and a quite important factor.

I am saying from my experience, holding other factors, how the one factor, appearance made difference on the level of likability.

 

May be our working env are different. I do not need to masculine up myself to be successful. I only need to show confident image, knowledge and produce good work.

Dressing likable ways is not dressing sexy.

I do not have any dress revealing.

I like elegant simple design.

 

 

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Guys staring at you in summer, does not imply that you are suddenly more likeable!  Sure, physical traits do make a first impression, after all, there isn't they know about you, other than how you look. Maybe you look cute, sexy, pretty, weird, ugly or maybe a special physical feature(your ass, elbows, weird toes...) of you is more prominent in summer. But, you can turn to always your girl-friends, if they notice some kind of difference, women in-general notice such things more than men.


If you are interested in knowing how likeable you are, check with the people who you hang out with. A good indicator is whether they invite you to stuff, wanna spent time with you and enjoy your presence. Sure, pretty people have it easy to break the barrier especially with the other gender, but if people don't tend to stick around you, then you should know something is amiss. And once people get to know you, they way you dress up matters less as much as your attitude and how you behave around them, hormone-driven interaction excluded

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1 minute ago, lisa13 said:

 

say what?

Its a well known fact that things shrink in the wash...  by the "SL" logic, Karin will have been in the shower for longer than she was when she was good looking!!

 

Simplz... 

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9 minutes ago, SpiderPig said:

Its a well known fact that things shrink in the wash...  by the "SL" logic, Karin will have been in the shower for longer than she was when she was good looking!!

 

Simplz... 

 

SAY WHAT?!

 

hehehehe - just...wtf.

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My wife always tells me off for wearing something revealing, but doing up flies all day bl00dy long when you work from home is a pain. I can save that problem by wearing some "leisure wear" shorts which don't even have flies, but that doesn't score me too many bonus points. Either way, I haven't noticed anyone around my office looking or treating me differently: just the usual look of disappointment / disdain. 

That said, someone called Corin Riggs seems to want to get to know me just because of my profile, and that doesn't even include a picture...or perhaps precisely because it doesn't include a photo.

Otherwise I think the OP has to realise the we chaps are pretty simple folk: wearing less is definitely more likely to get you more attention. As the ever-eloquent wordsmith Captain Sensible sang, "I've been to the south, I've been to the west, but the girls I like best are the ones undressed."

 

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15 minutes ago, lisa13 said:

say what?

 

1 minute ago, lisa13 said:

SAY WHAT?!

 

Brilliant! It seems like I wasn't the only one thinking of Captain Sensible!

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12 minutes ago, notme said:

Guys staring at you in summer, does not imply that you are suddenly more likeable!  Sure, physical traits do make a first impression, after all, there isn't they know about you, other than how you look. Maybe you look cute, sexy, pretty, weird, ugly or maybe a special physical feature(your ass, elbows, weird toes...)

 

True, but if you can give good first impression, you can have better chance. No one would go to second time to a person gave bad or uninteresting impression unless forced or for other reasons.

I am saying, all other factors are held, you are more likable if you dress better in proper way.

 

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Just now, dstanners said:

 

 

Brilliant! It seems like I wasn't the only one thinking of Captain Sensible!

 

you da bomb :)

 

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oh gosh no.  too slutty

 

I prefer scandi-designs.  I do have to be careful though, as some of them leave me looking like a chubby child

 

with boobs and gray hair.  strange look.

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1 hour ago, SmurfLee said:

 

My dresses never show any cleavage, to your disappointment. I never wear revealing dress.

That´s what you think.

It´s all in the angle.

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She probably has an LV bag and smirks when she sees a girl with a fake LV bag and thinks "Mine is original".

 

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2 minutes ago, Krieg said:

She probably has an LV bag and smirks when she sees a girl with a fake LV bag and thinks "Mine is original".

 

 

and I look at both and say "what a fugly bag!"

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