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Freak accidents

32 posts in this topic

Anybody had one?
Along with the plethora of idiot scars you carry around with you, those are the reminders from ouchies you get when you ignore your inner voice, who has had a freak accident?
At the moment I am sporting a blood red zombie eye in Pantone 187 from a nose-picking accident last Thursday.
It was not a case of really, really, really bad aim.
I was driving on the Autobahn without a care in the world when my nose started to itch on the inside.
I mean, come on, everybody has at one point had a finger in their noses, for some their nose is a snack dispenser, for others a good nose pick is a source of entertainment and it gives your fingers something to do after you have extacted your finger and there is almost nothing as calming as mindlessly rollling a soft plaiable ball between thumb and forefinger. There are bonus points if you do it in your car because who is going to look?
Anyway my nose was itching for a good rummage. My finger went slowly to my head in anticipation of a good dredge up the snout, I have long fingernails so any pick is a good pick.
Remember I am on the Autobahn and doing a fair lick, slowly, slowly my finger nears its target.
Shiny sharp fingernail glittering in the sun.
And I hit a bump in the road with the supsension on the Merc set to "sport" the result was that my finger, instead of reaching my nose, went into my eye like a heat seeking missile.
After both eyes stopped tearing up I went to the hospital for a check, everything is alright, just gonna have to get used to having a devil eye for the next week or two.

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15 minutes ago, RedMidge said:

Think of it as a "Badge of combat"!

Ok, and what is your tale of woe?

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Not sure if this counts as a freak 'accident', I once put my hand through a glass window.

Long story short - I had a job when I was a student in a pub. It was an old building dating from the 16th century, the glazing whilst not that old was of a particular vintage too (none of that new fangled double glazing).

 

Finishing a Saturday night shift, thought it would be a good prank to knock on the staff room window, where my two colleagues were taking a smoke break. Once my colleagues looked outside, I'd pretend to be a zombie or similar and scare them (it was night time, ok!)

 

Plan worked perfectly fine until my 'knock' on the window resulted in my hand going through said window. It worked to scare my colleagues at least as they were suddenly showered in glass, followed by me running inside with my previously white uniform shirt now blood red.

Cut my hand to ribbons, I now sport various small scars from where small bits of glass embedded into my hand.

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That actually belongs more in the box marked: "Idiot scars" methinks.

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I remember about 6 years ago in Hamburg and it was icy outside. So I made the deliberate decision to put on non-slippery winter boots . When I walked out the door, I tripped over anyway as I hadn´t laced them well enough! Broken wrist!

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13 hours ago, slammer said:

That actually belongs more in the box marked: "Idiot scars" methinks.

 

I now work in an industry where 'test before touch' is an oft repeated maxim. If only I knew that back then...

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I was opening a can of sweetcorn and forgot to pull my thumb back. The lid sliced the top of my finger off. To top it off I had been cutting limes before, and had not washed my hands, so the juice ran in. Stung like crazy, but with hindsight probably a good thing as it sterilised the wound. Grew back just fine, just got a nasty scar.

 

In winter, many years back I was driving in the snow on the autobahn. The autobahn had been cleared, but the exit had not, it was early morning and I did not see this. As I came off the exit, one side of the car was in the snow, the other was not. I did not have ESC as my car was pretty old, and the car span round. I must have a guardian angel.. There was no traffic behind me and I did not hit anything. I had to reverse though to face the right direction.

 

 

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42 minutes ago, Anna66 said:

Icame off the exit, one side of the car was in the snow, the other was not. I did not have ESC as my car was pretty old,

 

Also modern cars don't have a built in ESCape function.

There is no button you can press to escape a nasty situation.

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There are bonus points if you do it in your car because who is going to look?

 

Are you German? Because, if you look in the "Things Germans do that in their cars while they think no one is looking" book, this is #1. I've never seen so much nose-picking in cars as I have seen here in Germany.

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On 7/9/2019, 4:30:37, franklan said:

My late greatuncle and my late greataunt were on a way to a funeral by car, when she (passenger) noticed a hair on his (the driver's) lap. Without further ado she grabbed it to pull it away. Problem was that this hair was kind of coming through the zipper and was still "attached" somewhere down there.

 

He barely managed to avoid ending up in the ditch.

 

That must've been a helluva long hair.

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3 hours ago, kitkat64 said:

 

Are you German? Because, if you look in the "Things Germans do that in their cars while they think no one is looking" book, this is #1. I've never seen so much nose-picking in cars as I have seen here in Germany.

That only means that I have been in Germany far too long.

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Some years ago I managed to cut a slice of my thumb with a cheese slicer.

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On 08/07/2019, 13:11:46, slammer said:

... doing a fair lick...

I was sneakily smirking up to this point. Then found my limit.

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14 hours ago, LeonG said:

Some years ago I managed to cut a slice of my thumb with a cheese slicer.

 

Reminds me of an old colleague, who after a few too many drinks when younger decided to play with chicken with a blender and his thumb.

 

Guess who won?

 

 

 

 

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1 minute ago, optimista said:

What is a non-freak accident?

 

When an Audi/BMW crashes?  

 

Based on how a majority of them drive then it is an inevitability. 

 

 

 

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I had one freak accident, well let´s call it a freakishly idiotic accident, where I was trying to open a bottle with a plastic screw cap with a pairing knife, you know those little buggers with a two inch blade that chefs use to treat and dress veggies. I was holding the bottle and worming this little very pointy and very sharp knife under the plastic band that keeps the cap in place. My brain was screaming for me to stop and that if I slipped I would ram that damn knife through my finger. I chose to ignore my brain and kept on worming untill I slipped and rammed that damned knife to the hilt through my finger.

That was the idiot part, the freak came when I swooned (It´t not that I can´t see blood, I just can´t see my own) and hit the table just on the right spot to catapult what was on the table onto the stove where I had been cooking on a gas flame. Luckily nothing caught fire.

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