Legal Responsibilities as Legal Father vs Biological Father?

105 posts in this topic

58 minutes ago, LeonG said:

But she wasn't married to someone else though.  I think that's the complication here.  The last link I posted says you can do this before the baby is born but apparently only if the divorce has been filed already. 

 

My friend went through this very situation, his girlfriend was waiting for the divorce to be finalised when the baby was born, automatically the X still married on paper had his name added to the birth certificate even though his girlfriend had been separated for over 2 years. My friend had to go to one of the amts' to contest this but luckily for him the X also agreed and the names were amended.

 

Ironically I remember my friend saying that if he wanted to take the baby to visit his family in Britain he would have to get permission from the X as he was, in German law, the child's father. How screwed up is that?

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The sooner you two separate, the sooner the separation wheels start spinning, AFAIK. Does she plan on moving in with her lover or keeping your place? You might want to find out before you see the lawyer. 

 

Here, have another virtual hug.

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On 16.3.2019, 16:45:45, RossGerard said:

I did not see any definition of real father. Only paternal and legal father. I am the legal and this guy is the paternal.

 

Whilst normally I would commend you on your clear views I have to say that in all honesty you are not thinking straight.  You have posted that you consider the relationship over and frankly your wifes behaviour doesnt inspire confidence in her commitment to it either.

 

So there are actually some diffferent roles here:

* The mother

* Her child

* The paternal father (no rights, no responsabilities)

* The ex, who is not married to the mother, is not the biological father, and probably never sees the kid but is still legally and financially liable.  

 

On 16.3.2019, 16:41:28, RossGerard said:

I have talked to her and the biological father wants to take responsibility and raise the child together with my wife.

 

How do you fit into this?  

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Yes.. we are all aware of your friends that have friends that something rediculous happened... 

 

In this specific case... Father /Husband is Non German... Mother is German. 

 

I am not sure if the Husband is automatically named on the Birth certificat that is often issued at the Hospital... 

 

If the Husband is not present at the birth to show his Passport etc, I fail to see how he can be placed on the Birth certificate... 

 

My ex Partner knew the process, but did not inform me, therefor at the "checkout" I didnt have my passport.. so I wasnt put on the certificate... 

10days later I went to the rathaus with my Passport and asked for my name to be added as the father... They wrote to my ex to confirm that I was the father, then I got my name on the papers.... then paid 15€ for my copy of Lillys BC.. 

 

So.. if the OP isnt there at the birth ( and there is no reason for him to be there) they shouldnt add his name to the BC

 

 

 

 

 

 

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That is strange. We were not given the birth certificate at  the hospital.

 

We were only told that you can pick it up from the Rathaus in 1 week.

 

I think the main birth certificate comes from the Rathaus and not the hospital.

 

 

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We/she got a copy of the "antrag fur geburtsurkunde"  .... so its the aplication for a birth certificate... the info that is confirmed at the hospital is whats entered on the BC.... no one leaves the hospital without having applied for the BC... 

 

My appologies for my slight memory failure...  :(

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2 hours ago, SpiderPig said:

So.. if the OP isnt there at the birth ( and there is no reason for him to be there) they shouldnt add his name to the BC

 

Under German law a woman's husband is always considered the legal father of her child unless there is a Vaterschaftsanfechtung. Regardless whether or not the OP is there, the Standesamt would include his name as the legal father unless he takes steps to prevent it. If the child is born after the couple has filed for divorce and another man has filed for paternity, the husband will no longer be considered the legal father once the divorce has been finalised.

 

On 17.3.2019, 00:06:58, RossGerard said:

I am just confused about how to do the logistics for my self in a place that is not my home land.

 

How well do you speak German?

 

Here are some Männerberatungen that may able to help you and recommend a lawyer if needed, however, I'm not sure if they offer services in English:

 

https://www.vafk-koeln.de/beratung.html

https://www.profamilia.de/angebote-vor-ort/nordrhein-westfalen/koeln-zentrum/beratung-fuer-maenner.html

https://www.skm-koeln.de/allgemeine-sozialberatung-uebersicht/#toggle-id-2

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59 minutes ago, engelchen said:

Under German law a woman's husband is always considered the legal father of her child unless there is a Vaterschaftsanfechtung. Regardless whether or not the OP is there, the Standesamt would include his name as the legal father unless he takes steps to prevent it.

 

Exactly! A hundred times yes.

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24 minutes ago, Metall said:

 

Exactly! A hundred times yes.

 

What was the point of that statement?

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1 hour ago, RenegadeFurther said:

What was the point of that statement?

 

May I? It means that she agrees with the correct information that was given.

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5 hours ago, Sir Percy B said:

Ironically I remember my friend saying that if he wanted to take the baby to visit his family in Britain he would have to get permission from the X as he was, in German law, the child's father. How screwed up is that?

 

Well, not anymore hopefully but during the time X was still listed as the father I assume.  Germany is not the only country with this rule.  Patriarchy you could say.  Or maybe saving time and paperwork since the husband is usually the father.  In my home country it's the same.  I knew a woman who was separated, not legally divorced, living with a new boyfriend.  The process there was that they all had to go to court and swear that the father of the baby is the boyfriend, not the husband.  They could have done this before the baby was born but she felt a bit silly going to court heavily pregnant so they waited until after the baby was born.

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3 hours ago, engelchen said:

 

Under German law a woman's husband is always considered the legal father of her child unless there is a Vaterschaftsanfechtung

Thats interesting, I didnt know that.. 

 

In my cenario we were not married and at the hospital they took our details to pass onto the "Standesamt" so that the BC could be prepared... 

 

I am surprised that they will put the Husbands name on the BC if he isnt present and doesnt autorise this... 

 

I appologise that my info was incorrect for man of married status... 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, SpiderPig said:

Yes.. we are all aware of your friends that have friends that something rediculous happened... 

 

In this specific case... Father /Husband is Non German... Mother is German. 

 

I am not sure if the Husband is automatically named on the Birth certificat that is often issued at the Hospital... 

 

If the Husband is not present at the birth to show his Passport etc, I fail to see how he can be placed on the Birth certificate... 

 

I don't think they need him to show his passport.  If the husband is automatically the father, the rathaus knows who the mother is married to, they can just look it up. 

 

However, if the mother is not married, there is no automatic father so they need to see the father and his passport to verify that the mother is not listing someone as the father who isn't in the know or the father isn't giving a fake name or someone elses name.

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5 hours ago, SpiderPig said:

Yes.. we are all aware of your friends that have friends that something rediculous happened... 

 

In this specific case... Father /Husband is Non German... Mother is German. 

 

I am not sure if the Husband is automatically named on the Birth certificat that is often issued at the Hospital... 

 

If the Husband is not present at the birth to show his Passport etc, I fail to see how he can be placed on the Birth certificate... 

 

My ex Partner knew the process, but did not inform me, therefor at the "checkout" I didnt have my passport.. so I wasnt put on the certificate... 

10days later I went to the rathaus with my Passport and asked for my name to be added as the father... They wrote to my ex to confirm that I was the father, then I got my name on the papers... then paid 15€ for my copy of Lillys BC.. 

 

So.. if the OP isnt there at the birth ( and there is no reason for him to be there) they shouldnt add his name to the BC

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why should your ex have informed you? It's your responsibility and up to you to find that out. She was a little busier than you. 

Also get a spell checker. 

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21 minutes ago, SpiderPig said:

Until you know the full situation of my case... why dont you just fuck right off?

 

Man up big boy. 🤣

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3 hours ago, fraufruit said:

 

May I? It means that she agrees with the correct information that was given.

 

Why do you always feel the need to defend your immature friend who likes threesomes?

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27 minutes ago, fraufruit said:

Doesn't everybody like threesomes? All of my friends do.

You can always ask your friend if she will let you join.

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