Loud child in an apartment above. And unrelated whinge about noise in general

93 posts in this topic

9 minutes ago, dj_jay_smith said:

 

Actually my mum is always telling me what a good kid I was!

 

She tells me that my grandmother use to tell her that all the time but she never realised until my sister came along!

 

 

 

I am so curious to know what kind of adult you are!

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On 2/17/2019, 11:17:05, bramble said:

This thread is really depressing. This aging society needs kids. We were all kids at one time and were loud. It's natural. 

 

And in 2 months it became even more depressing.

 

Remember the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child"?   I think that's the problem nowadays. Society is slowly getting less and less involved in raising children and it is the parents' problem.     We grew up playing outside, interacting with everybody, including adults, we talked to our neighbors, to the guy running the small shop around the corner, to the lady in the ice cream shop, and so on.   Nowadays everybody is isolated, real life communication is reduced to its minimum, and the children get the worst of it.

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11 hours ago, Krieg said:

 

And in 2 months it became even more depressing.

 

Remember the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child"?   I think that's the problem nowadays. Society is slowly getting less and less involved in raising children and it is the parents' problem.     We grew up playing outside, interacting with everybody, including adults, we talked to our neighbors, to the guy running the small shop around the corner, to the lady in the ice cream shop, and so on.   Nowadays everybody is isolated, real life communication is reduced to its minimum, and the children get the worst of it.

Which is exactly why I value taking my children back home in Africa, so many times a year. I just want them to have that taste of that life, and much as I want it, it is almost close to impossible in this country. Coz the people who are supposed to have helped us, just push us away, in referral to how nagging we-and our kids are!

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AS towns and cities become more populated, and we live closer to our neighbours, we  become more protective of our personal space.

Vacuums, children, music etc. 

But,  children do need to play.

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Growing up some decades ago, you could get yelled at or even spanked by the neighbour if you gave him lip or trespassed in his garden and your parents would shrug and say, shouldn't have done that, should you?  On the other hand, you could also get milk and cookies from the neighbour if you were good and did an errand for them or helped them out.

 

Today, most people do not interfere with other people's kids.  You can't correct their bad behaviour because you'd have the parents beating down your door and you can't be nice to them because then you are under suspicion of having ulterior motives.  A first aid course I took, the instructor said that kids accidents are up because adults who see kids doing dangerous things do not interfere anymore.

 

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On 4/12/2019, 9:59:33, AfricanGal said:

once you report this woman you are risking nher loosing a home for her and her kids

 

that is patently false.

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On 4/13/2019, 10:23:16, LeonG said:

Growing up some decades ago, you could get yelled at or even spanked by the neighbour if you gave him lip or trespassed in his garden and your parents would shrug and say, shouldn't have done that, should you?  On the other hand, you could also get milk and cookies from the neighbour if you were good and did an errand for them or helped them out.

 

Today, most people do not interfere with other people's kids.  You can't correct their bad behaviour because you'd have the parents beating down your door and you can't be nice to them because then you are under suspicion of having ulterior motives.  A first aid course I took, the instructor said that kids accidents are up because adults who see kids doing dangerous things do not interfere anymore.

 

Because... One day while I went down the Keller to get my kids Kinderwagen up, my daughter rode off her bike, und weg war sie, and my son walked his way almost making it to the road, and while doing this, my neighbours who were outside just looked at them, and while my son was approaching the road and all the cars were waiting patiently, some hooting, and  me running to get him, my neighbours were busy giving me those searching and blaming eyes, like, "Where the hell are you, look your kids are going away"... So reeeeaaaallllllyyyyyy🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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On 4/13/2019, 2:20:47, lisa13 said:

 

that is patently false.

On 4/13/2019, 2:20:47, lisa13 said:

 

It surely could also  be right. Or should I have written "could be risking?" I have a friend of mine who's going thru this. From her neighbour's reports, note that shes always moving on eggshells because of this neighbour, that is, always controlling that her music is not anywhere closer to 5 volume loud, controlling her kids because they can't play and laugh loud and stuff, and Yeah, shes gotten many and many warnings that if these reports from neighbours continue going on, she is likely to vacate. So shes always making trips to Jugendamt to plead for herself and the kids. Because even the reporters do it anonymously!

On 4/13/2019, 2:20:47, lisa13 said:
On 4/13/2019, 10:23:16, LeonG said:

 

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5 hours ago, AfricanGal said:

It surely could also  be right. Or should I have written "could be risking?" I have a friend of mine who's going thru this. From her neighbour's reports, note that shes always moving on eggshells because of this neighbour, that is, always controlling that her music is not anywhere closer to 5 volume loud, controlling her kids because they can't play and laugh loud and stuff, and Yeah, shes gotten many and many warnings that if these reports from neighbours continue going on, she is likely to vacate. So shes always making trips to Jugendamt to plead for herself and the kids. Because even the reporters do it anonymously!

 

@lisa13 was trying to explain to you that the legal principle in Germany is "Kinder Lärm ist kein Lärm." Literally, this means that if the landlord moves to evict based on the noise of the children, then the landlord would be subject to court sanctions for failing in a fairly simple matter of German landlord/tenant  law. Yes, your friend needs to control the adult-controllable noise like music, but to evict on the basis of child noise is not permitted.

 

If you copy the German words in the last paragraph and use it as a search term,  you will find reams of information .

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5 hours ago, AfricanGal said:

Because... One day while I went down the Keller to get my kids Kinderwagen up, my daughter rode off her bike, und weg war sie, and my son walked his way almost making it to the road, and while doing this, my neighbours who were outside just looked at them, and while my son was approaching the road and all the cars were waiting patiently, some hooting, and  me running to get him, my neighbours were busy giving me those searching and blaming eyes, like, "Where the hell are you, look your kids are going away"... So reeeeaaaallllllyyyyyy🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

 

My first instinct as a neighbour witnessing this would be to go after the kids and stop them, AND you would have got a good ticking off from me as well for leaving them alone in that situation with cars nearby. But now-a-days people are hesitant to touch other peoples kids. A couple of years ago I was reprimanded by a parent and the girl herself when I grabbed the girl's hood to stop her from pushing in front of me while we were waiting at the kerb to cross the road. The girl was about 9.

 

Anyway, don't blame the neighbours for giving you the eye, as it's your responsibility to take care that your small kids are under observation while you are busy with something else. It's called elterliche Aufsichtspflicht in German, breach of which can result in serious consequences (Aufsichtspflichtverletzung). You could of course have asked a friendly neighbour to watch your kids for you while you went down the cellar, but it's not an easy task for strangers to watch over two lively kids and transferring the Aufsichtspflicht to them is a heavy responsibility, which could result in serious claims for compensation against them if something happened. 

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11 hours ago, AfricanGal said:

It surely could also  be right. Or should I have written "could be risking?"

 

nope.

 

see AlexTr's explanation (thanks Alex!)

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When I moved into this flat, there was a little boy, maybe 5 years old upstairs who was incredibly noisy. Shrieking, stamping, running up and down. I work at home, so purchased a pair of those ear protectors people wear when drilling in the road or at music festivals. Just about blocked it out. Didn't complain, as I have a dog, and sometimes have to leave her in while I go out shopping - she must bark sometimes.

 

The family then moved out, and in moved a young, single man. Hooray? No. I'd got used to the little boy, and he used to sleep at night at least. This great idiot wakes me up building his furniture with his hammer and electric screwdriver at bloody 3 a.m. Dog or no dog, I was up there quoting from the Polizeiverordnung the next day.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

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