Loud child in an apartment above. And unrelated whinge about noise in general

93 posts in this topic

On 7.4.2019, 13:11:03, optimista said:

Maybe I am missing something, but to get offended about the use of the term kid in English - and my understanding and use of it as affectionate and benevolent and absolutely not derogatory - is willfully getting upset about something just because. They can get called far worse...

" Here's looking at you kid".  - Humphrey Bogart

What did he mean? Anyone know?

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If you are noise sensitive, you should look at getting an apartment in a newly built complex.  Modern buildings have to be built to a code that includes noise dampening.  Even then you will have to keep your windows closed. Otherwise, buy a single family home in the country.  You cannot expect to live in peace and quiet, for example, in an ancient multi-family apartment complex in a large city with your windows wide open all the time.  That is just not a reasonable expectation.  As others have said, there is nothing that you can do about the noise and the parents know that so complaining will not get you far (asking nicely might).

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5 minutes ago, BradinBayern said:

Otherwise, buy a single family home in the country. 

 

and listen to your neighbors running chainsaws, mowers and tractors all the damned time - especially when the weather is nice! ;)

 

I don't really know if that's true overall.  A few weeks ago I took a couple of days to relax in Bayrischzell and this was precisely what was going on.  I pretty much regretted the trip as I couldn't escape the noise. 

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5 minutes ago, lisa13 said:

 

and listen to your neighbors running chainsaws, mowers and tractors all the damned time - especially when the weather is nice! ;)

 

I don't really know if that's true overall.  A few weeks ago I took a couple of days to relax in Bayrischzell and this was precisely what was going on.  I pretty much regretted the trip as I couldn't escape the noise. 

Buy a single family home WITH A LARGE LOT then :)  At least there are rules when they can run the chainsaws, mowers and tractors.  You can't ask a parent to not let their kid scream at noon or on a Sunday.  

I doubt Bayerischzell was worse than US suburbia with its leaf blowers and constant lawn mowing. 

 

It is true where I live.  The noisiest thing is the church bells. 

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No no - by far, still a lot better than the US

 

but my apartment in central munich, with a playground outside my window (only intermittently used - it's private) is LIGHTYEARS more peaceful from a noise standpoint.  I am just spoiled now ;)

 

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I hear in Siberia there are reasonable sized lots at good price. No neighbours around that might disturb you with  children, lawn mowers, leaf blowers or any other general noise of a living soul.

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47 minutes ago, lisa13 said:

I don't really know if that's true overall.

 

Pretty  much imo, folk work all week and only have the weekend to do stuff. Ergo, chainsaws and lawn mowers etc.. folk usually observe the ruhezeit between 1-3pm but outside of that it is a free for all.

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 Earplugs work however.. it is NOT right or fair kids aren't taught to respect others... This slack, children are the boss and decision makers, parenting style of late appears kids have zero boundaries and cannot hear "NO" may be germinating a generation of disrespectful wild brats.  In public the last few years, I've heard and seen out of control 2-3-4-5 year olds spewing these high-pitched, scary, annoying screeches..:angry: have you?  I reckon this is their "how I get my way scream because they'll give in" and something tells me it isn't healthy.  A little discipline goes a long way and children don't want to make decisions at that young age.  TAKE CHARGE of your kiddos!! They'll love, respect you more and feel much safer too. :wub:

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1 hour ago, Alana said:

 Earplugs work however.. it is NOT right or fair kids aren't taught to respect others... This slack, children are the boss and decision makers, parenting style of late appears kids have zero boundaries and cannot hear "NO" may be germinating a generation of disrespectful wild brats.  In public the last few years, I've heard and seen out of control 2-3-4-5 year olds spewing these high-pitched, scary, annoying screeches..:angry: have you?  I reckon this is their "how I get my way scream because they'll give in" and something tells me it isn't healthy.  A little discipline goes a long way and children don't want to make decisions at that young age.  TAKE CHARGE of your kiddos!! They'll love, respect you more and feel much safer too. :wub:

 

Don’t say these horrible things! Let children be children. It is politically wrong to call them disrespectful brats. The right term for letting children scream all they want is “free range” upbringing. These children are not acting like bosses. They’re just free range kids. 😉  Some people here called me a “dictator” when I brought up discipline in a thread. 😏

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23 hours ago, fraufruit said:

A large lot in the boonies can still cost around half a mil before the house.

 

Depends.  In the East you can buy a whole village for that.  On Starnberger See, you might get a parking spot.

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19 hours ago, Alana said:

 Earplugs work however.. it is NOT right or fair kids aren't taught to respect others... This slack, children are the boss and decision makers, parenting style of late appears kids have zero boundaries and cannot hear "NO" may be germinating a generation of disrespectful wild brats.  In public the last few years, I've heard and seen out of control 2-3-4-5 year olds spewing these high-pitched, scary, annoying screeches..:angry: have you?  I reckon this is their "how I get my way scream because they'll give in" and something tells me it isn't healthy.  A little discipline goes a long way and children don't want to make decisions at that young age.  TAKE CHARGE of your kiddos!! They'll love, respect you more and feel much safer too. :wub:

Obviously you do not have kids.  You can be the best mother/father in the world and still your kid will have the occasional screaming fit in the local Aldi.  What are you going to do? Beat them?  People without children always know the best ways to raise them and the obvious ways that they should be disciplined.  Becoming a parent rapidly disillusions you that you have all the answers. 

As a child, I would scream and run around as much as I wanted.  Only the birds and the occasional fox cared too much about it.  If you have kids in the city, it is unhealthy not to let them run around and often there is no place for them to do so but in the apartment above your head.  They probably make less noise then the traffic outside your window but some people seem to want to get annoyed.

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1 hour ago, BradinBayern said:

Obviously you do not have kids.  

 

Maybe she has quiet kids. A friend of my brother had two quiet kids and he and his wife used to give a look to parents whose kids were screaming in the store. Then they had a third. Out comes screaming banshee. No matter what they did, they could not stop him from throwing fits, even at the store.

 

That said however there is a difference between parents who can't stop a fit and parents who disregard their kids and turn up their TV instead of dealing with them. There are plenty of tricks to give the neighbors a break like taking the kids to a playground or a park sometimes, doing arts and crafts with them sometimes etc.

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On 16.2.2019, 07:53:07, St0rMl0rD said:

Hi everyone, this might be a bit of a sensitive topic to anyone living with children, but I would still like to ask and see if anyone can share their opinion or possible experiences in a possibly similar situation.

I am living below a family that has a very loud child that is constantly crying and running around in the apartment; the child seems to be about 3 years or so old. I have been living in this apartment for 8 months, and things haven’t improved at all. There is a lot of noise coming from the apartment above at various times, most often in the morning (6 A.M. sharp) and in the late afternoon, even on weekends, when I try to sleep in a bit longer in the mornings, but that is impossible because of the loud crying, screaming and running (as I’m writing this, the child has cried loudly and/or screamed at least 5 times in the last 20 minutes).

I have already turned to the landlord and the management of the building, and they said they talked to the family, but nothing has changed. As this is a case where a child is making the noise, can I even do anything about it, even if it’s starting to affect my quality of life, wakes me in the morning and is not allowing me to relax in my own home?

Thanks everyone!

The only thing I tell every one who is like you is; You will know better once you have kids of your own. If you are lucky and they are calm children, you are likely never to know how difficult it gets. Every parent would surely wish to have children who are calm, shout and scream less, or cry only when it is necessary. By the time you are writing this, think about how the mother herself is feeling, or what she is going through, especially that she mus thave tried and failed to keep her kid calm. Do you even know about the terrible twos? Yes, That is a period of time that normally begine from 1.5-2years through 2.5-3years, where children just scream, cry and scream and throw tantrums. And Yes, for crazier kids like this one sounds, it can even go olonger through 4/5years. Remember while being bothered that a child is waking you up at 6am, she is having a mother who went through so many sleepless nights, and still have to be awake by 6 when this kid is screaming and most likely--When you are not watching, Kicking away the bottle that is offered to her, refusing to brush her teeth, or get into clothes offered to her. Yes. this is what they do, amidst tears and screams.

 

I would be bothered too honestly, but I would not bring myself to open my mouth about it, or even report to the landlord, or even Toytown. i don#t know how difficult it is to get flats in your city, but here in Munich it is crazy difficult, and once you report this woman you are risking nher loosing a home for her and her kids. I would surely appreciate life if I was living alone, It is waaaaayyyy easy without the children, even if it is a neighbours kid screaming. I am a business owner, so if I wear you, if this kid woke me up at 6, I would first and foremost have so much empathy for the mother, and shift my anger and energy to other things,, make me a cup of coffee, meditate, stay positive and happy,, listen to music, see what I can do around my house, listen to music, while doing some work.

 

on One occasion, I was ill, tired, slept the night on the couch, I needed more sleep, my kids woke up at 6 am, and with their expectations of milk and playing with them, they started fighting and screaming, I made them milk, but they still played loudly. I was sick, tired and shattered, I got up, dressed up, dressed up kids to go out on the playground so they can not shout for neighbours like you,, and while moving ou, my neighbour came out, and told me how my children have made her sleepless and shes been out till 2am so she needs to sleep longer-Meanwhile I go out till 3 but still coz of kids, I wake up at5:45 :).. she used this tone and look of so much anger: I could understand her, but I just really did not understan her tone--Ofcourse she never greets me and stuff, I stood, studied her as she was telling me if I can make my children shut up. I finally gathered the energy to answer her, that I am sprry but while I was giving birth to my kids, I forgot the remote control to pause them or switch them off when they can shout.

 

2 days later I get a letter from the Jugendamt, summoning me, about how I live my kids unattended to and stuff. Long story short, from some peoples experiences, reports like this can lead a mother to loosing her children, and the pain of loosing a child(Find out about those reports on the internet) to these social workers, the pain of your children being taken away especially over such minor cases, is worse than your pain of not being able to catch some sleep. Very inense. So be patient with this woman, and shift your energy to other things, and remembering, that while she is going through this now, and super vulnerable at it, you will most likely experience the same, or have experienced the same if you have kids, and Oooh, how about you become a helping hand? Just go, knock on that door, talk to the child like; Hey, whats the matter? you know when you shout like that we canot sleep--In a very child friendly tone, and body language, that means, squatting down/getting to the child level. Or offer this mother help like baby sitting the kid instead of reporting. Yes, I know people here don´t have the zeal to open up and offer help, but you can do it, or LET IT GO! ir eve, Shift to another place! Cheers.

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15 hours ago, LeonG said:

 

Maybe she has quiet kids. A friend of my brother had two quiet kids and he and his wife used to give a look to parents whose kids were screaming in the store. Then they had a third. Out comes screaming banshee. No matter what they did, they could not stop him from throwing fits, even at the store.

Because all kids are different!

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I also have one child who is quiet and calm and I receive compliments on her behavior and another child who screams like a banshee and gets calls from the neighbors. 

 

Unfortunately it is the same child.  Just depends on the day :) 

 

Want to do a fun experiment?  Call YOUR Mom and complain to her about the loud kids and say how lucky SHE was that YOU were such a calm and quiet kid and never gave her any trouble. 

 

Did your Mom go suddenly quiet on the line?  

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2 minutes ago, BradinBayern said:

 

Unfortunately it is the same child.  Just depends on the day :) 

 

Want to do a fun experiment?  Call YOUR Mom and complain to her about the loud kids and say how lucky SHE was that YOU were such a calm and quiet kid and never gave her any trouble. 

 

Did your Mom go suddenly quiet on the line?  

 Right. My daughter has been that type of child from day one, and i must say I didn´t really have a sweet child. It takes a lot of patience and nerves, which is why I asked OP to have some empathy. I beg my daughter every single day in a very nice tone not to cry and shout, love her relentlessly, sometimes I loose it and I break down and cry, many times I stick out my tongue and raise my middle fingers after stomping out of the room. it takes a lot of energy and nerves.

 

and Yes, While back home to my mother, complaining and whining, she told me we were exactly like that, no different, or even worse, I could deny it, but I knew it was the truth... So, different stages of life, different behaviours, and if I am not wrong the OP could thave been "that kid".. jokes :D:D

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On 17.2.2019, 11:17:05, bramble said:

This thread is really depressing. This aging society needs kids. We were all kids at one time and were loud. It's natural. 

Glad I am not the only one feeling this way!

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On 17.2.2019, 12:52:46, LeonG said:

Who says even parents enjoy other people's kids noise?  They might understand having gone through a phase with their own but it doesn't mean they enjoy the neighbours kids screaming and carrying on.  Same with people who don't have kids, we know people who have kids, we know you can't always control them but it doesn't mean we have to like it.

Hahahahahaha... Why do I agree with you so so well?? Listen, after droppinh my children to Kindergarten, and I sit on a train, readin a book and a mother comes in with a kinderwagen, then the kid starts crying and throwing tantrums, first I get a wave of scare/fear inside of me, then I notice OOH, I am not with my kids, So I relax but again, the noise is not amazing, But i can only understand!

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20 minutes ago, BradinBayern said:

..

Want to do a fun experiment?  Call YOUR Mom and complain to her about the loud kids and say how lucky SHE was that YOU were such a calm and quiet kid and never gave her any trouble. 

 

Did your Mom go suddenly quiet on the line?  

 

Actually my mum is always telling me what a good kid I was!

 

She tells me that my grandmother use to tell her that all the time but she never realised until my sister came along!

 

 

 

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