Loud child in an apartment above. And unrelated whinge about noise in general

96 posts in this topic

Then fling your wine at the drone's camera! That's more lady like,  I admit. :)

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13 hours ago, LeonG said:

Legally you have no rights.  In Germany, children are allowed to play, run around and scream, even if it disturbs the neighbours.

Amen! Although there is spielezeit in several places...

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When I was like looking for an apartment, I purposely looked for an area with a lot of old people. So far, so good. The only problem is that now they’re starting to die and younger people are moving in 🥺

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I don't mind children's noise. What I don't like is when they become teenagers and start noisily and aggressively congregating in parks and at corners and leaving their garbabe and broken bottles lying around. 

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On 16/02/2019, 08:13:11, SpiderPig said:

Buy some "Big boys pants" or move... 

 

Lets hope you never have children...  

 

That's an incredibly offensive thing to say. I would say something even worse in return, but I'll refrain.

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2 hours ago, Santitas said:

When I was like looking for an apartment, I purposely looked for an area with a lot of old people. So far, so good. The only problem is that now they’re starting to die and younger people are moving in 🥺

 

A generational thing and also lifestyle, baby boom, families now wanting to live in urban areas etc.   Certainly my block is a typical one of older people in larger flats alone with the couples and families holed up in the smallest.  I suspect there may never be another single person moving in.   But the older people are often still "only" 70 or 75 which is no age here, they potentially have another couple decades.

 

Plenty of places still have older populations, though.  I`ve moved part time to a place where the population is older.   The quid pro quo at least if you own is that the equity gain from their money can give you that sort of choice.   That place does feel more like when I first moved here.

 

It is also worth saying that families often do live in fairly poor conditions here, especially as there are often not so many (affordable) family-sized properties in cities.   I would say my family with dependent kids here are all somewhat overcrowded, and so are quite a few other younger families I know: shared bedrooms, partitioned up rooms, no private outdoor space etc, which can then be made worse when older relatives move in etc.  

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15 hours ago, Aussiedog said:

 

I must say that I can sympathise we the OP. Even the noise of people just moving around on the level above me can drive me nuts. I'm certainly more sensitive to that kiind of noise than most it seems.  We lived in an apartment above a shop when we first moved back here (and didn't have anyone above us) , so no problem there. Not easy to find I know, but the suggestion is a good one. Now in our own free-standing house, and if the kids are making a racket at least I can go and tell them to keep it down! Sometimes they even do as they're asked/told.

 

I don't like other people's noise either.  I've had upstairs neighbours with small kids in an old house where sounds carried well.  If the kids are up with a cough, it kept me awake as much as the parents.  If the kids woke up early and started jumping around, I woke up too.  Still, loud music annoys me more.  The kids eventually get tired.  Music can go on for hours.

 

14 hours ago, fraufruit said:

Living above a shop can also be loud when they are rolling around great trolleys and restocking shelves before they open and after they close. Perhap not for  a small shop.

 

As long as the shop isn't open very late, it shouldn't go on for too long.  Might start early though.  I lived above a restaurant.  The noise started after closing.  Then you'd have the staff playing loud music while cleaning up and having some after work beers, the waitress going into the stairwell to have loud phone conversations (or arguments) with her family back home, the owner and his wife argue about his drinking too much or something else.  I actually liked the ppl but was very happy to move from there.

 

Now I live in a reihenhaus, so tiny that my neighbours are couples or singles only.  No kids. 

 

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This thread is really depressing. This aging society needs kids. We were all kids at one time and were loud. It's natural. 

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I don`t think anyone is objecting to the kids though.   That is rather a coercive idea.   Same with the "you don`t understand until you have kids' fallacy.   That many of the childfree know exactly what it is like is the reason many are childfree.   They do not want any of that, chose a different life.  And parents whose children are grown obviously do know what it is like.

 

 And Germany is a state that makes sure the childfree provide for other people`s children - big time.  It would be the last place just about that anyone who hated the idea of providing for other people`s children migrated to.  People without dependent kids still need their weekend rest and whatever so that they are in a position to spend their weekdays earning the tax that funds schools and kitas, and drive the school buses and treat their kids in hospital and teach them.   And also while paying for their lives and homes and pensions on top, from a lower net income and, often with little or no state subsidy. 

 

If someone chooses to be childfree and instead pay other people to raise the next generation, I never assume they wish to live a parent`s life vicariously.  If they wanted that, they would have their own children.   Same for older parents who have done their 20 years - no reason to assume they want another 30 years of weekend child noise.   And, as I said earlier, when I am out on my own, I see noisy family groups very much choose to avoid other noisy groups - most people are the same when it comes to childrens` noise, just excluding their own.  

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Who says even parents enjoy other people's kids noise?  They might understand having gone through a phase with their own but it doesn't mean they enjoy the neighbours kids screaming and carrying on.  Same with people who don't have kids, we know people who have kids, we know you can't always control them but it doesn't mean we have to like it.

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4 hours ago, Santitas said:

.. I purposely looked for an area with a lot of old people.

Hmm... they can be quite deaf (and awkward) and have their TV, radio and hi-fi turned up too... careful...

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2 hours ago, LeonG said:

I don't like other people's noise either. 

 

When I am in Berlin, I often get about 30 minutes of banging in the early evening as if someone is doing a workout or playing drums (or quite possibly both together of course).   It doesn`t bother me like, indeed, loud music would,  but I am quite curious to know what it is :D.   I can see into the flat from my ground position but not yet been nosey enough to try to confirm it.   I also suspect it is in the nature of a fad and so will be gone in a few months.

 

But there again is large cultural change.  Your neighbours in Berlin now commute to some distant office and apparently need to let off steam when they get home.   Also was not the life when I arrived here, but I cannot really get stroppy with that when I get the whole site to myself practically all day.

 

There is a lot of self-selection here obviously (not meaning anyone here).   People that do not like noise and also where there are associated issues like sleep difficulty are possibly going to find a family setting difficult.   These are not two random population subsets.   They will fairly obviously often need very different life settings.

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8 minutes ago, swimmer said:

When I am in Berlin, I often get about 30 minutes of banging in the early evening as if someone is doing a workout or playing drums

 

When I lived above the restaurant, I would hear them hammer away on the schnitzel.  Still, wouldn't last 30 min. but would happen a few times a night depending on how many schnitzel they sold.  It didn't really bother me.  Later the house was sold and the new owner moved in upstairs and he was extremely bothered by it.  He imagined they were doing it just to piss him off and demanded to see the kitchen to see where and how they prepared the food.

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at the time I got my apartment I didn't really have the option to be picky but I have to say, it's worked out quite well.

 

most apartments in the building are two room, max, and so far, people who have had babies since I've lived here move out pretty quickly as this is not really enough space for three+ longer term. 

 

of course it's not a sure thing to guard against kid noise, but it helps, and in the future I will look for a building with a similar configuration.

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How does one find out before signing a rental contract whether or not there are loud children, adults or whatever? I've always wondered.

 

1 hour ago, swimmer said:

Same with the "you don`t understand until you have kids' fallacy.

 

I disagree with this being a fallacy. You just don't. There's also this thing called love that parents have for their children and if you never had any, you just don't know. Sure, you can find other people's kids to be annoying and all that but you'd be surprised at what one can overcome and turn a blind eye to when they are your own.

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31 minutes ago, fraufruit said:

How does one find out before signing a rental contract whether or not there are loud children, adults or whatever? I've always wondered.

 

I suppose you could stake out the place and ask the people going in and out if the walls are thin.  Sure it could be the loudest people you meet though and they tell you no, all our neighbours are quiet :)

 

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You could try swearing obscenities whenever parents + kid are in the stairway. If you get complaints that the child hears it, there's your cue ;-)

 

If you live in the city, sorry all bets are off. Ambient city / drunken nightlife noise is to be expected. So what's a little child screaming? 

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2 hours ago, optimista said:

Hmm... they can be quite deaf (and awkward) and have their TV, radio and hi-fi turned up too... careful...

Lol, that’s true, but I’d take a loud TV over a screaming child at 3am any day 😅

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Even though my Icon pic suggests otherwise "like a good neighbour stay over there" in this case I might actually invite the neighbours to dinner or reach out in some small social way. During the context of a friendly conversation you can mention how porous the walls seem to be and that any small noise is easily heard. Ask them if they have noticed this obvious problem.

 

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