Loud child in an apartment above. And unrelated whinge about noise in general

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Hi everyone, this might be a bit of a sensitive topic to anyone living with children, but I would still like to ask and see if anyone can share their opinion or possible experiences in a possibly similar situation.

I am living below a family that has a very loud child that is constantly crying and running around in the apartment; the child seems to be about 3 years or so old. I have been living in this apartment for 8 months, and things haven’t improved at all. There is a lot of noise coming from the apartment above at various times, most often in the morning (6 A.M. sharp) and in the late afternoon, even on weekends, when I try to sleep in a bit longer in the mornings, but that is impossible because of the loud crying, screaming and running (as I’m writing this, the child has cried loudly and/or screamed at least 5 times in the last 20 minutes).

I have already turned to the landlord and the management of the building, and they said they talked to the family, but nothing has changed. As this is a case where a child is making the noise, can I even do anything about it, even if it’s starting to affect my quality of life, wakes me in the morning and is not allowing me to relax in my own home?

Thanks everyone!

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I think all you can do is buy some of these.

Or ask the parents whether they can think of alleviating your problem, like e.g. move the child into another room.

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Well, they are not called the Tantrum Threes for nothing!

 

My daughter has just got over this period, but she still occasionally has a tantrum which I believe may last until she is ..... well, forever!

Children at that age wake up early, so trust me 6am is actually not too bad!  And it is also normal that such tantrum occur in the late afternoon or early evening.  So kids are worse than others.  Sometimes the parents can do more to alleviate the issue than they actually do, but they will not accept your advise as you are a stranger (and often they don't accept the advice of family!)

 

Legally there is nothing you can do.  Morally, there is nothing you can do except be more understanding.  As other have implied, you will understand when/if you have children yourself.  Talking to the parents will probably not help much, because even a quiet 3 year old make a lot of bloody noise!  But if you approach it with the right approach and attitude you could maybe have a word with them and this might make a little difference.

 

I know it is annoying and disturbing, but if it really is that bad the only thing to do is move.

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1 hour ago, St0rMl0rD said:

even on weekends, when I try to sleep in a bit longer in the mornings,

 

You think a 3-year old that throws tantrums cares that it's weekend? :D

 

Yes, try ohropax and usually it gets better when the kid gets older. 

 

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Yeah, that's my thought too, eventually it should be fine. I probably won't stay in this apartment that long, but nevertheless.

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1 hour ago, dj_jay_smith said:

I know it is annoying and disturbing, but if it really is that bad the only thing to do is move.

Maybe. Maybe not. The next place he moves to may also have kids - sooner or later. I have one too. And you can limit the "unnecessariness" (aka crap) you and others have to tolerate - to an extent. You can also remove him out of other people's earshot depending on circumstance. Having said that, the kid does not play up all the time either, so there has to be some give and take. He is at home and has a right to his three-year-old's life! The law is on his side. Kids evolve however. As does their behaviour. It can improve. Or get worse. They can even have siblings... :D

 

Our neighbours from hell - two teens who were up and down the stairwell for hours in the early ours every night for years - were punished when I sprogged late. I did sometimes take her into the stairwell when she cried at night purely for their benefit. :ph34r: Also I bought a flugelhorn (trumpet) on E-bay and practiced at all times of the day...and  when we moved, the new owner had a year's worth of building work done to the place... yes, revenge was sweet. Still is, thinking about it. Don't get mad. Get even.

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Legally you have no rights.  In Germany, children are allowed to play, run around and scream, even if it disturbs the neighbours.  If you move, as others have said, there is no guarantee there wont be kids there too.  If you stay, this child will likely get a bit more quiet when they are older but then they might have another.  One way to get away from the noise would be to look for an apartment that is above a store or a small house.  

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Being the quiet one is only ever a net loss in public life. People take your quiet and give you back their noise and disruption.

 

Plenty of buildings are less tolerant of noise.  Some basically put barriers to kids living in them, as well.  They may cost more to live in, perhaps, but peace and quiet has a premium attached.  

 

This is company you are ultimately  choosing to keep, in other words.  You can choose to live round quiet  individuals  or next to few or no people.

 

 

 

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Just now, swimmer said:

Being the quiet one is only ever a net loss in public life. People take your quiet and give you back their noise and disruption.

 

Plenty of buildings are less tolerant of noise.  Some basically put barriers to kids living in them, as well.  They may cost more to live in, perhaps, but peace and quiet has a premium attached.  

 

This is company you are ultimately  choosing to keep, in other words.  You can choose to live round quiet  individuals  or next to few or no people.

 

 

 

For sure, lesson learned, or let's say one more thing to add to the checklist next time I'm looking for my next place :)

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Yes, I know I am lucky to not have a noisy life and more than enough good quality private space, but I just find it a bit ironic.   The same people who lecture us that making noise is perfectly fine invariably make a beeline for the where the quiet loners are sitting.   Never to the other equally noisy groups who they self-righteously lecture the rest of us not to shun :lol:.    It is not a good time to be a quiet individualist, as is fairly typical among my Gen X cohort.   The loud group herd rules currently - but of course in part because it increasingly lacks private space and other stuff a lot of us take for granted. Lack of space (home, outdoor) is the reason kids are playing on stairwells now etc.

 

There was a crying baby on the train last night.  They do not bother me at all but then someone started with some noise from their mobile device, which I thought quite possibly was a deliberate response, so of course even more noise for the rest of us, caught in passive-aggression wars :unsure:. (One of the parents did remove the baby).

 

Someone mentioned earplugs.  A lot of people increasingly routinely carry them just for daily life.   Half the carriage on my last train before (which was very quiet) seemed to have Ohropax. Including me :D.   Never go out without them now.   Best thing ever.

 

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Yes, I always carry earplugs on public transportation against the shrieking children. ;)

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Just thought I'd add. Some young 20s were discussing the problems their drones were having flying in the cold.

 

I said great, fantastic that your drones don't fly well here. They looked at me as if I was blowing Satan. Well we were in the sauna. If Satan had joined I guess he'd have been naked too.

 

I then said this is one of the quietest places I have ever been. I don't want the glorious silence destroyed by drone noise. Anyway you're here for Aurora, and drones are useless for catching Aurora pictures.

 

They looked at me in speechless horror. How could an old idiot like me have the cheek to object to drone noise. But they did have no answer, and no further comment.

 

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Falling asleep on my chair by the ocean. Drone comes. ARGGGHHHHH! Drone owner can't hear it - he's on the other side of the marina.

 

It's a twofer - unwanted noise and loss of privacy.

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32 minutes ago, MadAxeMurderer said:

Well we were in the sauna.

 

Don`t even start me on the sauna :angry:.  They you all are enjoying some quiet relaxation.   Its entire raison d`etre.    Then a pair come in and seriously think you want to hear them rambling and moaning about some incredibly low rent aspect of their tedious daily lives.  Quite a lot of them also seem to think you want to engage in some detailed discusson of the mechanics of sauna operation.

 

That area is also now the target of people who spy a nice quiet area in which they get to bully quiet sorts with their pointless and idiotic phone discussion with their pointless and idiotic relations (on speakerphone) about what unappetising meal they intend to have for dinner, or part of the latest installment of GZSZ or the weather forecast.     It`s like the audio version of "Can`t you keep it in your trousers?" :lol:

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I've changed the title. We are long beyond baby noise. Acceptable conversations in the sauna are: 

  1. Shall I fling some more water on the sauna?
  2. Who's coming for a roll in the snow?
  3. Are you really going to blow Satan?
  4. Wasn't that a refreshing roll in the snow?
  5. You have truly lovely breasts.

Number 5 might be a bit risque especially if it's a man you say it to.

 

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2 hours ago, fraufruit said:

Falling asleep on my chair by the ocean. Drone comes. ARGGGHHHHH! Drone owner can't hear it - he's on the other side of the marina.

 

It's a twofer - unwanted noise and loss of privacy.

 

Since your ocean vacations are outside of Germany, I recommend getting a BB gun / air gun / slingshot etc. (something small and legal in that area) and downing the damn thing. Just waving said armament at the camera should help.

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8 hours ago, LeonG said:

Legally you have no rights.  In Germany, children are allowed to play, run around and scream, even if it disturbs the neighbours.  If you move, as others have said, there is no guarantee there wont be kids there too.  If you stay, this child will likely get a bit more quiet when they are older but then they might have another.  One way to get away from the noise would be to look for an apartment that is above a store or a small house.  

 

I must say that I can sympathise we the OP. Even the noise of people just moving around on the level above me can drive me nuts. I'm certainly more sensitive to that kiind of noise than most it seems.  We lived in an apartment above a shop when we first moved back here (and didn't have anyone above us) , so no problem there. Not easy to find I know, but the suggestion is a good one. Now in our own free-standing house, and if the kids are making a racket at least I can go and tell them to keep it down! Sometimes they even do as they're asked/told.

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Living above a shop can also be loud when they are rolling around great trolleys and restocking shelves before they open and after they close. Perhap not for  a small shop.

 

@Metall, when I am in a chair by the ocean I am only armed with a glass of wine and my ereader. I find weapons to be stressful and don't own any.

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