What is the best response when Germans are unreasonably rude to you? Or reasonably rude?

188 posts in this topic

8 hours ago, optimista said:

Indeed. However, over time one's personality does evolve. Hopefully positively. I do have a separate Germanic persona by necessity and say things in German and with a scowl and tone of voice I would never use when speaking other languages. (I found myself having to consciously shake this off when I moved to France...) When I have something unpleasant to say to those around me who understand German, that is still the language I use. You can be firmer (nastier and uglier - I do a great barking "Nein" with a stoney glare) in German and get away with it... because that is what the recipient has been conditioned to expect. Sadly.

 

I'd have to agree with optimista, especially the part of having a separate Germanic persona, though I don't think I do it by necessity. I just somehow learned it naturally during the years I was in Germany.

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3 hours ago, sos-the-rope said:

Did he ask you to bring both? Then why not bring both...?

Because it costs 30 EUR to get it, and I just *asked* if one will suffice. 

 

 

 

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For what we s worth, I ended up calling him out on it and I could see he became careful about it.

 

It’s just a shame that interactions have to be often so stressful for no good reason. I really wish we get to something like 50% foreignborn to dilute things a bit.

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10 hours ago, dampstew said:

Because it costs 30 EUR to get it, and I just *asked* if one will suffice. 

 

 

 

 

So you indeed were trying to save 30 EUR and you've got angry because the guy told you that.

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2 hours ago, Krieg said:

 

So you indeed were trying to save 30 EUR and you've got angry because the guy told you that.

Well yes I tried to save 30 EUR like any rational person might. That is what I told the realtor. Do you never negotiate over anything? 

 

If it’s not obvious from the post, the realtor got angry, not me.

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3 minutes ago, dampstew said:

Well yes I tried to save 30 EUR like any rational person might. That is what I told the realtor. Do you never negotiate over anything? 

 

No, I don't negotiate over peanuts when buying something expensive.   Negotiating the price of the property would be something totally different.   

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14 minutes ago, Krieg said:

 

No, I don't negotiate over peanuts when buying something expensive.   Negotiating the price of the property would be something totally different.   

Great that 30 EUR is peanut to you. For me it’s a good chunk of money, and if I don’t have to part ways with it I rather not. That’s surely not a reason to be scorned at.

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You where supposed to be interested in buying something that costs a lot, no idea how much exactly, 100K, 200K, 300K.  Showing you care about 30 EUR when buying something that costs so much says a lot.  And yes, 30 EUR is a peanut in this situation.

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4 minutes ago, Krieg said:

You where supposed to be interested in buying something that costs a lot, no idea how much exactly, 100K, 200K, 300K.  Showing you care about 30 EUR when buying something that costs so much says a lot.  And yes, 30 EUR is a peanut in this situation.

 

I was just trying to rent a cheap apartment, that’s it. Nothing close to 100k etc.

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Still peanuts.  I think you will have a hard life if you get angry every time someone tells you the truth in your face.   Because Germans are well known for been straight.

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On 8/21/2018, 11:42:08, Krieg said:

  Because Germans are well known for been straight.

Really! Hope, you are in Germany. Also, Germans are known for their diplomacy. I experienced this again and again for more than 10 years. In academia, the Prof-s are known for lack of their straightforward characters. I think, I don't need to tell about the corporate sector

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I've come across people being stuffy bureaucrats just because they either hate their job and everything connected to it or they somehow just think it's way you're supposed to be, and then I've come across a couple of real pricks who were deliberately being prickish, or deliberately trying to pick a fight.

 

The bureaucrats I just smile at and get on with it. It's what I'd do anywhere else and I don't see a need to treat them differently just because they might be having a bad day. 

 

If someone is looking to be antagonistic I'll just blast them in English until they run away.

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Last time I was up in Yorkshire- they could give the Germans a run for their money in rudeness! ( Concealed as honesty and plain talking):P

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I'd agree with topeka when she says just to smile. There's a clip of Larry Mullen getting arrested in Berlin for driving without a license when U2 were shooting a video, and he just smiles, and you can see it drives the officious cop crazy.

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On 17/08/2018, 19:55:46, someonesdaughter said:

 

As I was trying to make clear to you, it's a matter of perspective. Germans do not consider what foreigners call "rudeness" in Germany to be "rudeness". Very simple. 

 

Americans consider their exuberant courtesy the measure of all things. Most Germans would find that strange. When Americans shout "I'm so sorry" in the supermarket from a distance of three meters, because perhaps the paths of the shopping carts could cross, this is just strange for Germans (or Swiss). But that's their way.

 

Most Finns talk very little. This changes somewhat when the alcohol loosens their tongues, but "small talk" with Finns is mostly "less talk". Is that rude? No, it's not. No Finn would find it rude, but you would probably feel it as such...

 

Stop complaining and start accepting differences?

 

No, they don't start to be like people in other countries. Why would they do that? This is not another country...

 

 

And yet they both have the same self-professed cultural touchstone, namely Christianity.

Or do they somehow imagine that Jesus went around acting like a pig for no reason.

 

If we are to blindly accept differences irrespective of their merit then why did you comment other than to say "ok"?

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Had a couple of incidents over the last couple of weeks, both in my own area of the UK. First was in a small harbour, I was on the beach with my kid and 3 Germans fishing off the harbour wall kept pissing off the wall into the sea. I was pretty mellow about it. Could have called the cops I guess. 3 weeks later I was on a very long empty beach enjoying the glorious sunset. 4 bellowing Germans walk right up to me and basically move me on. That really pissed me off and I really made it known on my face and comments. The other one was the typically shitty smoking in the street and blowing it back into the faces of the people following.

Germans are the worst behaved people I see when I am back home. I am now also a German but I am becoming increasingly annoyed with the bad behaviour. 

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On 8/17/2018, 1:11:57, JCrichton said:

Uh. Have you ever been in the US at all? Not to mention that it would be "Excuse me", not "I'm so sorry" there.

 

 

Right, I was thinking this as well. Because that situation is more likely to be Canada. 

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I am acquainted with a few Germans in my area. I also tend to find certain things they say shocking. For example, a friend of mine will, without hesitation, criticize the cleanliness of another friend's home. 

 

I chalk it up to a cultural difference. I may say one day "That's not something I'm used to hearing from an American" 

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43 minutes ago, coconuts said:

 I may say one day "That's not something I'm used to hearing from an American" 

On the other hand you are rarely offered a shotgun, a bible and a flag if you buy a car in Germany.

 

https://www.wtvy.com/content/news/511840942.html
"Alabama dealership offers car buyers shotgun, Bible and flag to celebrate July Fourth"

(found it in "Only in America")

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10 hours ago, coconuts said:

a friend of mine will, without hesitation, criticize the cleanliness of another friend's home. 

What´s your point?

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