Lessons learned living in Germany / what I wished I'd known before coming here / staying so long

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What lessons have you old-timers learned in Germany since moving / staying here?

 

I was thinking of asking this in the general Life In... forum but then I thought it might be useful for the rookies too?

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3 hours ago, SpiderPig said:

 

I feel a merge coming on..

 

Although, now I’ve read that (to me, hilarious) thread, could we not keep this one and stress that teabags and fat rendering topics are off limits?

 

i was thinking along the lines more of life lessons, you know, wide horizons and all that...? More like attitudes and stuff? Was looking at a lot of things like the guys reaction to primary school here and wondering why although it irked me too (no end!) I didn’t feel I needed to vent about it at the end of this school year (venting about it here good and early helped!)

 

i am a Bit biased because I got eingedeutscht by my Erasmus year, plenty of ticking off about recycling, wild goose chases looking for “real” sausages etc

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How shitty and useless is the public health insurance system is for males. Basically if its not a surgery/ life threatning situation you are left to suffer like a dog ...

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I've found (here and in the US) that level of care and satisfaction with treatment depends 70% on the skill the doctor, and 30% on learning enough about whatever is wrong with you so you have some ability to evaluate your doc and treatment - it is risky indeed to blindly trust your doc, especially if they are not very skilled.

 

Please do quit bitching about healthcare for "males".  Women's specific healthcare ain't no picnic either. 

 

I think one thing I wish I'd known is that despite the stereotypes to the contrary, there is a significant subset of people here are not quite so good at following "the rules" or even common sense.  Sometimes general wishy-washiness brings me down, too.

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52 minutes ago, lisa13 said:

I think one thing I wish I'd known is that despite the stereotypes to the contrary, there is a significant subset of people here are not quite so good at following "the rules" or even common sense.  Sometimes general wishy-washiness brings me down, too.

 

I think all that stuff about rules and efficiency is basically marketing.

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I came here thinking I could pick up everything quickly (new language, good job, friends), only to discover I suddenly had some limitations and those have not all improved with time here, so I have come to accept the limitations and focus on the things I have (be thankful I have a job at all, that I can get by ok in daily life auf Deutsch, that though I have no friends nearby but at least I don't have the troubled friends I had back in the old country!)

 

Today I am thankful for anything good in my life in Germany. I can't say that I was so thankful in my old life in America, I was always hoping for 'more' somehow, and this 'more' thinking was prevalent in my first years in Germany too: it only led to self-disappointment and a looming sense of regret, so I dumped it.  

 

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2 hours ago, TraceKira said:

How shitty and useless is the public health insurance system is for males. Basically if its not a surgery/ life threatning situation you are left to suffer like a dog ...

 

Complete and utter bullshit.

 

I had a scheduled operation last fall that completely removed a fucking tumour from my digestive tract.  The colonoscopy a few weeks beforehand was how it was discovered.  I was in the best of care at all times.

 

THEN

The fucking day after I was released from hospital, I saw flashes in my right eye, like lightning bolts.  It took me more than a day to contact my opthamologist, who that morning sent me directly to an eye clinic at a different hospital north of the city where I received emergency surgery the next day, without which I would now be blind in my right eye. Actually, for the time before the surgery, I was functionally blind in that eye as I could not recognise a foot-tall number 3 during an eye exam.

 

So two week-long back-to-back hospital stays, one planned, one emergency, full care, no problems, completely recovered.

 

I have to go back every three months for the next two years for an MRI to make sure no tumours come back.

 

Yeah, shitty healthcare for men.

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1 hour ago, cybil said:

I was always hoping for 'more' somehow, and this 'more' thinking was prevalent in my first years in Germany too

 

that's interesting.  I don't think this is the same thing, but you reminded me of something, and maybe we get the net same effect:  I found it so so so soothing to give up the need for "more" when I moved here.  Meaning, in the US if you're not constantly striving for "more" you're often regarded as a loser of some kind ;) 

 

I felt that pressure lift immediately on moving here.  I think I skipped any longing for "more" (and indeed, I have so much less now, objectively) because I was so relieved to not feel that constant pressure.  Too many things in the US are a competition and you feel that, even if you actively refrain from participating too much.  Here, the competition thing is not really a thing. Or at least much less so, or maybe I just don't notice it. Regardless it's now a non-issue for me and I agree, I appreciate and enjoy every little thing that brings me happiness.  Those things are easier to identify, too, without all the "you need more!" noise.

 

 

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3 hours ago, lisa13 said:

Please do quit bitching about healthcare for "males".  Women's specific healthcare ain't no picnic either. 

 

I guess they had a bad experience one time and extrapolated from that to ALL healthcare (not sure why it should seem like only men, but maybe I don't wanna know details!!!)

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Just now, sos-the-rope said:

I guess they had a bad experience one time and extrapolated from that to ALL healthcare (not sure why it should seem like only men, but maybe I don't wanna know details!!!)

 

I understood he had a problem with body parts or functions that only men can have, and he is disappointed with that treatment.

 

that's why I parried with women's specific healthcare, which can be woefully unsatisfying at best (not related to locale) and downright barbaric at worst.  I'll gladly spare you the details ;)

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cybil and lisa13, I agree with what both of you have said about letting go of having more. Not that any of us are old but I believe the attitude change also comes simply from age and maturity and being more secure in oneself no matter where one lives.

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On 4/16/2019, 12:35:05, silty1 said:

 

Complete and utter bullshit.

 

I had a scheduled operation last fall that completely removed a fucking tumour from my digestive tract.  The colonoscopy a few weeks beforehand was how it was discovered.  I was in the best of care at all times.

 

THEN

The fucking day after I was released from hospital, I saw flashes in my right eye, like lightning bolts.  It took me more than a day to contact my opthamologist, who that morning sent me directly to an eye clinic at a different hospital north of the city where I received emergency surgery the next day, without which I would now be blind in my right eye. Actually, for the time before the surgery, I was functionally blind in that eye as I could not recognise a foot-tall number 3 during an eye exam.

 

So two week-long back-to-back hospital stays, one planned, one emergency, full care, no problems, completely recovered.

 

I have to go back every three months for the next two years for an MRI to make sure no tumours come back.

 

Yeah, shitty healthcare for men.

 

I think you are a happy exception . I know a lot of cases beside me who were not so lucky . One of my friends died 2 years ago of untreated skin cancer because the useless skin doctors he went to refused/were incompetent enough not to recognize a fuken melanoma.(he went to like 3 of them) When the 3d idiot doctor found it it metastasized to its liver ... After they found out the beautiful German healthcare didnt have the required medicine for metastasized (stage 4) melanoma and he had to import those medicine from the United States... It was horrible death and nothing you can say about the german medical system wont make me change my opinion of it.Its old , outdated , overcrowded , full of incompetent doctors.

 

About myself ... the camel who broke the camel back was when i almost lost my left eye due to corneal infection , and what saved it was for me deciding after going to 3 different doctors to go to Stuttgart University Hospital in emergency room and tell them i wont leave unless they drag my dead body out of the waiting room .After the doctor checked my eye said casually , yeah , you have a huge infected corneal scratch , if u waited any longer you would have had permanent scarring ... Luckily we found it . Tyey gave me medicine and i said ... hey doctor, due to the pain i didnt sleep too well in the last 3 days , maybe i can get tomorrow a day off work ... you know ... She told me i can work with one eye just fine ...Unbelievable...I took paid holidays day off and luckily after 1 week of rest my eye was just fine...I filed a few complaints to my health insurance companyt  due to incompetent eye doctors who said i was fine , but i never heard anything about it...Unbelievable...

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On 19.4.2019, 17:07:35, TraceKira said:

Unbelievable...

 

You're right.

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