Need legal advice on domestic violence

53 posts in this topic

I would really appreciate if someone could help me with my situation, if I could get some in advice as I can't afford a lawyer at the moment.

A few weeks ago I had an argument with my wife in our aparamtment in Frankfurt. She called the police, told them I had slapped her which I hadn't done.

Our argument was intense but there was no phisical contact. The police made me leave the house that day but she let me back in the house in the evening, she did not want me to be restricted from being in the apartment even though she had the option to not let me back for 14 days as the police has told her she could do.

I had apologized to her for my behaivor (verbal abuse), she has forgiven me and everything has been fine since then. 

In the meantime I have received a letter from the police telling me to come on a certain date and talk to them because I am now under the suspision of commiting dometic violence.

What I would like to know is, what happens now? Will I have a record because my wife called the police? May this affect my future jobs here in Germany?

Is it possible to have this issue dissmed? No one but our three year old son was in the apartment  when the argument happend and even our son was not in the same room at the time.

How can I make this all "go away"?

 

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10 minutes ago, devanna said:

What I would like to know is, what happens now?

Nothing, you will be questioned, that will be it.

 

10 minutes ago, devanna said:

Will I have a record because my wife called the police?

You will not have a record as you have not been convicted by the court of law. There is also no evidence that domestic violence actually happened. However, you will be on their radar in case the issue escalates once again.

 

12 minutes ago, devanna said:

May this affect my future jobs here in Germany?

No.

 

13 minutes ago, devanna said:

Is it possible to have this issue dissmed? No one but our three year old son was in the apartment  when the argument happend and even our son was not in the same room at the time.

How can I make this all "go away"?

Obviously, the only option is do not do this again.

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So, basically I will have to talk to the police and that's it? is it possible that they call my wife again to discuss the situation?

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Of course, they will talk to your wife, too. But without medical evidence of physical violence the case will be closed.

 

Usually they open the case and wait if something else happens in the meantime, then this event will be joined with another events which lead together to the conviction.

 

If nothing happens within several months (I guess), that will be it.

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Is it possible that she changes her statement? Would this help or make it worse for the both of us?

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I am not a criminal lawyer and do not work at law enforcement, but I don't think it will make any difference.

 

If you both stick to the facts about escalating argument, that will be ok.

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7 minutes ago, devanna said:

Is it possible that she changes her statement? Would this help or make it worse for the both of us?

Get out the marriage.

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3 hours ago, devanna said:

Is it possible that she changes her statement? Would this help or make it worse for the both of us?

 

I would be wary of having her do that - it might look as though you have somehow influenced her to do so.

 

Unfortunately, once something like this happens, and even if you don't get charged for it (since you didn't do anything!), the police are people too, and if anything similar should happen and one of the same cops comes round, then you could well be up the creek without a paddle.

 

Basically, whether deliberately or not, you wife has managed to create for herself a certain amount of "power" over you.

 

I guess you need to have a good, long think about the whole situation and about how much you trust your wife.

 

 

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6 hours ago, devanna said:

Is it possible that she changes her statement? Would this help or make it worse for the both of us?

This type of violence is not an Offizialdelikt in D, so... If she retracts the "Anzeige", the police will cease to investigate.

 

The "I know that face" situation when you get in contact with one of those police officers again in an iffy situation certainly cannot be undone.

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No, the point is not for me to get out of the marriage. The point is for this case to be dropped. What do I or we need to do.

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21 minutes ago, kiplette said:

you are married to someone who is prepared to push you under a bus if she feels cornered. Or you did it, and she was right to do so, but either way there is a massive issue

Couldn't agree more with the above comment. You are not in a good relationship - for either of you, and importantly your child. If you can't solve it (and it sounds too serious), it's time to live apart.  

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How can she retract the "Anzeige"? What does this mean exactly? The topic is not about marriage advice, its about dismissing this case the easiest way possible.

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5 minutes ago, devanna said:

How can she retract the "Anzeige"? What does this mean exactly? The topic is not about marriage advice, its about dismissing this case the easiest way possible.

Just looked it up, she actually cannot retract the "Anzeige", but the "Antrag".

 

So, if she has formally done the "Strafantrag", she has to go to the police and has to say "Ich möchte den Strafantrag gegen meinen Mann zurücknehmen".

If she isn't willing to do so, you've got a problem. Refrain from slapping her, though.

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Unfortunately, some women get the advice that they should create situations so that the neighbors can hear you arguing.  She calls the police etc. so that she will have the advantage in a divorce.  This could be the reason that she lied. 

 

As others have stated, huge red flag.  Lying in general is not good - lying to the police is really really not good.  

 

You say the topic is not marriage advice but dismissing the case as soon as possible.  What about the next case and the one after that?  As others have stated, you can probably get this case dismissed without major issues and without doing much else (assuming everything you have said is true) but it sounds like you have bigger issues and you would be wise to pay attention.  

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As the heavens have aligned (jaycool and RF agreeing on something) it is a sign that either Damian has reached adulthood or that the universe is giving you a sign. 

 

As Trump is most likely the anti-christ (down Trumpets, down I say), you need to evaluate your life. 

 

As said, either you hit her and are trying to weasel out of it, or she lied to the police to get you arrested, or she was scared you could hit her. 

 

Either ways, your life is going to change I think. 

 

Either this is going happen again (either you hitting or her lying) or you take action. 

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Just because your 3 yr. old wasn't in the same room, he/she heard all of it and witnessed it and I doubt if this is the first violent argument that you and your wife have had. When small children hear their parent's rage at one another, it changes who they are.

 

Please get yourselves into marriage counseling and learn how to have disagreements without them escalating into such events.

 

Although there was no physical violence, Himself and I used to get very loud when arguing. Never when my son was home but I know he could feel the after effects. It only took some visits with a counselor and we nipped that in the bud.

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16 hours ago, devanna said:

The police made me leave the house that day but she let me back in the house in the evening, she did not want me to be restricted from being in the apartment even though she had the option to not let me back for 14 days as the police has told her she could do.

 

 

Did the Police issue an order that bared you from returning for 10 days? If yes you are lucky that nothing happened because your wife could not change that order by herself and if she felt like it she could have gotten you into deep shit very easily.

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3 hours ago, Bobandy said:

 

Did the Police issue an order that bared you from returning for 10 days? If yes you are lucky that nothing happened because your wife could not change that order by herself and if she felt like it she could have gotten you into deep shit very easily.

No they did not. My wife did not either.

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