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Mentally ill neighbor

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What do you do when you have a sick neighbor.  She does things to everyone in our house.  She put dirt in the washing machine of one

of our neighbors.  Trash has been put in my machine. She insist on closing my machine door.  She closes the drawer where you put

detergent.  I put out a small Easter Decoration outside my door and she cut it.  At night, obviously it is her, the private walk area we

have, the neighbors have plants out front.  These plants get pulled up and destroyed.  I have nothing to do with her.  My husbands says

that you can't prove it, so you can't say anything. We can't inform landlord.  If you have a complaint-he just copies the letter and sends

it to the neighbor that you are complaining about.  This person receives welfare money.  She constantly gets new furniture and appliances, computers, printers and free food.  When she goes away to the hospital there is peace in the neighborhood. Basically, she goes every year for three to six months.  She has a liver problem and got hooked on drugs.  She goes for therapy with drug user and alcoholics and these

people are coming in our building.  Her lastest trick is playing with house door.  She double locks or she opens it completely.  I think it is

opened completely for her night time men visitors.  Thanks for listening to vent my irritations.

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Put a surveillance video camera to see who is doing this in public area.

I think is perfectly legal to have one.

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16 minutes ago, California Friend said:

... My husbands says

that you can't prove it, so you can't say anything. We can't inform landlord.  If you have a complaint-he just copies the letter and sends

it to the neighbor that you are complaining about.  ...

 

You don't need to prove anything, you just need to report the problem to the landlord and he needs to deal with it.  You could say (maybe verbally) that you suspect xxx but don't know for sure.


You can also talk to your neighbours and also get them to complain.  Complaints from a single person can be ignored, but continued complaints from multiple people can't be so easily ignored.

And if he fails to do anything then you can always threaten to reduce the rent until the problems are resolved, that normally lights a fire under landlord!  Of course I suggest that you talk to the Mietverein before you actually do anything.

 

 

You can also tell the landlord that if he does not deal with it then you will call the Police, as it is after all criminal damage.   

While this might be overkill for a single incident, continued small incidents add up to effectively being anti-social behaviour.

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52 minutes ago, Mr.Bear said:

Put a surveillance video camera to see who is doing this in public area.

I think is perfectly legal to have one.

 

Not legal at all according to many other discussions on the subject.

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We had the use of a video camera, we put it in a neighbors window and put it towards where the plants get pulled up.

Nothing happened - she went for 7 weeks in the hospital.  The minute she is back all this starts again.  I bought the

neighbor all new plants at the end of March, as of last night they were all pulled up and taken.

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Things looked pretty good after a group of our neighbors contacted the landlord of all the things that were going on.  The final straw was when she went into hospital on a Monday and on Tuesday morning an alarm siren went off at 6:00 until after 12:00. Police couldn’t help.

We finally got that taken care of.  I don’t know what the landlord did, but when she returned

from hospital everything was good.  About three weeks ago the problems started again.

Every week now she changes the setting on my washing machine. My landlord is on vacation

and he will hear from me.  A lovely woman in apartment upstairs passed away.  This woman helped herself to all her cleaning products. The family posted a sign regarding the theft.  

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3 hours ago, California Friend said:

Things looked pretty good after a group of our neighbors contacted the landlord of all the things that were going on.  The final straw was when she went into hospital on a Monday and on Tuesday morning an alarm siren went off at 6:00 until after 12:00. Police couldn’t help.

We finally got that taken care of.  I don’t know what the landlord did, but when she returned

from hospital everything was good.  About three weeks ago the problems started again.

Every week now she changes the setting on my washing machine. My landlord is on vacation

and he will hear from me.  A lovely woman in apartment upstairs passed away.  This woman helped herself to all her cleaning products. The family posted a sign regarding the theft.  

 

I can only imagine how stressful this must be for you since it is still ongoing. 

 

We have a neighbor (lives in the next building) who snoops around on. One time, he rang our door at 11:00 pm and told us the keller has water on the ground and that the leak came from our bathroom. It turned out, it was from a different neighbor’s toilet. My spouse confronted him and told him to stop messing around or he will get reported to the police. 

 

Hope, something positive will turn up real soon for you. 

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I guess she is doing these bad things to alleviate her own pain. Apparently, when you are in pain, if you cause pain to others, it quells the pain. Weirdly. Or so I understand. Knowing that may help you take a different perspective. Be glad you are not in her shoes. Sorry you have to put up with her crap. Life is too short.

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6 hours ago, California Friend said:

About three weeks ago the problems started again.

 

It is possible that she stopped taking her meds.

 

Hard to have empathy but it must be horrible to be her and live in her world.

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it sounds like there is a recurring pattern. trash in machine, dirt in machine, closing of drawer that holds detergent (so it is not visible to the eye), cutting off decorations, pulling off flowers. as for her taking the deceased detergents (if it was her) - there is a chance that she did not take them for her own use but rather to get rid of them. could it be possible that in her world, what is beautiful or clean is so painful to her mind, she is compelled to undo them...?

 

thing is, while these may be annoyances to the neighbors, these incidents could be coping mechanisms for her. she may not even be doing these things at a conscious level - ie not in a menacing or vindictive way.

have a peek at the condition of her old furniture when they get replaced. how damaged or soiled are they? i don't know many people who "constantly" get their furniture replaced. 

 

most of us are brought up to avoid the mentally ill. they make us feel uncomfortable because their behavior is unfamiliar to us. but if we try to understand that every illness has an underlying history and cause, it will help us to accept their condition a little bit more.  

 

how did the neighbors learn she has a drug history? she must have confided with someone or opened up to someone. maybe have that neighbor (innocently) ask for a family/ friend emergency contact whom they can talk to about getting around some of these issues. an alternative is, if she appears to be doing really well right after a long retreat, that could also be an opportune time to approach her and have a "left brain" talk with her.

 

ps - if you need to leave your washing machine door open (I assume, to air) try draping some kind of (old, plain) fabric over it with the door slightly ajar - not sure if it will work but perhaps worth a try... 

 

good luck. 

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